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Depression and Motherhood

The thing about depression is that nobody can really understand how you feel unless they have been through it themselves. And even then, their experiences could be completely different from yours. When I first wrote of my current struggle with depression, I got the feeling that a few commenters believed the condition to have suddenly come over me one day. Or even over a span of weeks. But the truth of the matter is that I have been down for months now, and what probably precipitated my meltdown was my neck injury; I was no longer physically able to stay strong. It is no secret that I have been treated for depression in the past — in my early twenties, to be exact...

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A Semi-Lazy Post [An Update in Pictures]

Our family is exhausted. Little Aerin is teething — and has been for the past 1.5 months — and she has been extra cranky, in addition to waking up 4-6x a night. Claire’s first teeth sprouted just before she turned 7 months old; Aerin is now 7.5 months old and those pearly whites have yet to appear. Why oh why can’t our children be one of those who exhibit little to no signs of teething?

J and I tell our friends that we can’t remember much from the time period when Claire was 4-9 months old because IT WAS THAT HARD. We seem to have blocked everything from our memory banks. We can only hope that Aerin’s roughest patch will pass soon too.

I realized I haven’t talked much about my girls in a while, so I decided to do a post full of pictures and brief updates, starting from before my neck injury which was more than 2 months ago!

Here we go…

I have mentioned in the past that Claire treats her giraffe like it’s her own baby. (When we ask her, “Where’s the baby?” she will point to Aerin, then the giraffe.) When Claire started to place the giraffe in the stroller as well, we brought out a walker which features a basket and instructed her to try using that instead. And just as we expected, she LOVED it!

I immediately decided that a doll stroller was in order and got a $15 one on Amazon. We were able to bring it over to my parents’ during our stay there, and Claire got some good use out of it. (Just in case you’re wondering, yes, she insists on strapping it in securely before each ride.)

‘Mad Men’ Prototype Barbie Dolls

I confess that when I watched the first season of Mad Men, I couldn’t understand what the big hype was about. Sure, the costumes were spectacular and nostalgia for this era was understandable, but I believed the plot and storyline were a bit too dry for my taste.

But I kept watching, and boy, am I glad I did.

Because each season has been better than the last. Because this season has featured some of the best television I have ever seen. And because each episode continues to blow me away.

Sadly, there are only two episodes left in Season 5. But true fans can continue to regale themselves with fan-created tributes — online and in the real world (though I was not impressed by Banana Republic’s Mad Men collections). And I believe that this series of photographs, by Michael Williams of My Life in Plastic, are some of the best I’ve seen yet:

(Warning: these contain spoilers from Season 5!)

Hot Yoga: 10 lbs in 6 Classes!

One of the steps I am taking on my road to recovery is to exercise — not only for the physical benefits, but for the added endorphines as well.

As mentioned in a previous post, my doctors have recommended yoga to help my neck heal and as a way to help me relax. I also remembered reading that Tony Horton, the founder of P90x, said in an interview that if he had to choose just one type of exercise, he would go with yoga.

The problem was that I have always found yoga to be boring in the past. So to make it more interesting for myself, I decided to check out hot yoga.

(I thought it was interesting to learn that there is a difference between hot yoga and Bikram yoga. In a nutshell, all Bikram yoga is hot, but not all hot yoga is Bikram.)

I was able to find a hot yoga studio near my parents’ house, and as luck would have it, the same company has a studio near where we live. My sister had warned me about the potential dangers of hot yoga, but I knew that my laziness would not allow me to push myself too far. I thoroughly read through the FAQs (what to expect, what to bring, etc.) and mentally prepared myself for my first class.

As I signed in at my first class, I told the instructor that this was my very first hot yoga class. She was welcoming and enthusiastic (without being annoyingly peppy), and told me that my goal for my first couple of classes should be just to stay for the entire 90 minutes. She added that I should not feel bad about myself if I am not able to do certain poses, or if I even need to sit down or lie down to give myself a break during class. Also, if I had to leave the room, I should just make eye contact with her to let her know that I’m okay, and quietly leave.


The studio I attend is simply gorgeous.

During my first class, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I was not in quite as bad shape as I thought. I only had to sit out a couple of poses, and — the best part — I was able to stay the entire 90 minutes!

As for the heat? I had expected the room to be uncomfortably hot and humid, stuffy and malodorous. However, while the room WAS hot, it was not unbearably so. And the smell? The entire room smelled clean — no B.O. or harsh chemical smells — just a nice, fresh scent. Additionally, ceiling fans would periodically run to keep the air circulated during class. (Later, I was to learn that the studio cleans and disinfects everything between classes, and that they adhere to a very strict range of heat and humidity.)