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Mommy’s Diapers

After a visit to the grocery store to stock up on feminine supplies, I had my back turned for 5 seconds while taking Aerin’s jacket off and Claire got ahold of my box of Always Overnights with Wings.

(The rule of thumb with toddlers is that they will cause the most mischief when you have your back turned for 2-5 seconds — no more, no less. Like last night, when Claire tried to get into the tub by herself during bath time and FELL IN HEAD FIRST into the almost-full, soapy tub with all her clothes still on and her stuffed giraffe in her hands. Trying to calm down a hysterically crying toddler — a soaking wet, hysterically crying toddler, while she clutches her dripping-wet, now-weighing-5-pounds stuffed animal in her arms, was the highlight of the week.)

Claire’s personality is like mine in that she has trouble letting things go. As such, I have found that if she becomes fascinated by something she shouldn’t be playing with — like my menstrual supplies — it is better for me to show her how BORING and UNEXCITING the object in question is so that her curiosity will be satisfied and I will not have to deal with a tantrum when I eventually take it away.

So per my usual fashion, I unwrapped one of the pads and showed her what it is, flipping it front to back so that she could examine it, saying stuff like, “Oh, this is not fun. It’s so white and plain! Mommy’s bored with it already. Mommy’s going to go play with that toy over there now.”

And because she is such a bright, curious girl, I like to tell her what the objects are for, too. So in this case —

“These are mommy’s diapers. Just like the diapers that you and your little sister wear…”

I was planning to go on by saying, “But yours are so much prettier! This is nothing special.” when I saw a lightbulb switch on in her head.

And she immediately grabbed the pad from me and stuck it on my butt.

I wish I could have taken a picture of me standing there, mouth hanging open with a pad stuck to the butt of my pants, but before I could make a move she ripped it off and stuck it on her butt. And, as expected, she left to go check herself out in the mirror.

I did, however, manage to get a very blurry shot of her coming out of her room, the pad in question now in her hands:


Unless we’re going out, I usually keep the girls in the PJs the entire day.
(The grocery store doesn’t count, because I walk there and we go practically
every day.) Don’t judge — they’re too young to care and it cuts down on
laundry as well as the need to buy more clothes.


P.S. — I will return to my regular blogging schedule next week. This week has just been…a whirlwind of sh*tstorms.

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