Dec 13, 2010  •  In Personal, Photography, Random

Royal Engagement Photos

I must be living under a rock, because I only just discovered that Prince William is engaged to be married to his long-time girlfriend Kate Middleton.

Two official engagement pictures were released to the public over the weekend, and I have to say that I love the work of fashion photographer Mario Testino, who was chosen to document the royal engagement. Not only does the couple look exquisite, the photos (especially the more formal portrait) have a painting-like quality to them that makes them seem appropriately regal. I’d love to know what type of equipment Testino shoots with, what settings he used, and what type of post-processing work he performed, if any.

Kate’s engagement ring, which is prominently displayed in the first photo, was the same one given to Diana by Charles. Some have criticized William for choosing to gift Kate the ring of his late mother — because not only did his parents’ marriage end in divorce, his mother died a tragic death — but I think it’s utterly romantic. (Plus, I have an affinity for oval stones, as my own engagement ring is a gorgeous oval diamond. )

I was too young to remember the wedding of Charles and Diana, but I do know that it was the fairytale wedding of my generation. I have no doubts that William and Kate’s wedding in April 2011 will garner similar attention.

Congrats to William and Kate!

Via Luxist.

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Dec 10, 2010  •  In Baby, Claire, Motherhood, Parenting, Personal

The State of the Union, 10 Weeks

Today I’ve decided to regale my readers with another post-partum mega update…complete with stretch mark pictures!

Baby care has definitely gotten easier. Don’t get me wrong — it’s still pretty tough, but the horrendous first six weeks have passed and gone with them are first-time parent jitters (and idiocracy), in addition to the zombie state that plagued our household.

We are now better able to understand the baby’s needs and are even able to differentiate between her various cries: from “I’m hungry,” to “I’m sleepy but I don’t WANNA sleep”; from “I’m bored — can you carry me around the house?” all the way to “What the eff are you doing? I don’t like that.”

Claire is also starting to become picky with her caregivers. In the beginning, I was worried that she would grow to like my MIL more than me seeing as how much time they spend together. However, it quickly became apparent that my daughter vastly prefers to be comforted by her mommy over anyone else when she is upset. When she is crying and crying and SCREAMING BLOODY MURDER, I am the only one who can calm her down almost immediately. While this makes me happy inside — She likes me! She really likes me! — it has become a case for malcontent with J, who’s already sad that he doesn’t get to spend enough time with her and worries that our daughter still doesn’t know her daddy.

Sleepy Time:

For the first few weeks of Claire’s life, she suffered from a major case of day-night reversal. I read that this is pretty common with newborns because while they are in the womb, they sleep during the day when the mother is active (because this creates a calming, rocking motion for them) and tend to stay awake during the night when the mother is asleep.

So we did our very best to reset her internal sleeping clock: leaving the house bright and full of noise during daytime (although this was a bit difficult to enforce with grandparents who wanted to keep the house dim and quiet so the baby can sleep in peace); not letting her nap more than 3 hours at a time; keeping the house dark and quiet at night; and avoiding stimulation as much as possible (even talking) when she wakes up during the night for a diaper change and a feeding.

Within two weeks, Claire was definitely sleeping longer stretches at night — in 3 to 4 hour increments — than during the day, when most of her naps lasted just a couple of hours.

Then something miraculous (well, at least to new parents) happened. Sometime between weeks 5 and 6, Claire began to know when it was nighttime. Getting her to go down for the night was still a challenge, but once she was down for the night, we no longer had any trouble getting her to go back to sleep after middle-of-the-night feedings. All I needed to do was change her, feed her, and place her back in her bassinet and she would fall right back asleep.

Guys, you don’t know how much of a lifesaver this new nighttime sleeping habit has been. Especially now that she sleeps in 4-5 hour stretches during the night.

Bassinet to Crib:

Starting week 8, both sets of grandparents voiced their concerns at the baby’s bassinet becoming too small.

“It’s designed to support up to 25 lbs, and the baby is still less than 12 lbs!” I protested. “There’s still plenty of space for her.”

But they kept nagging. “What if she learns to roll over in her sleep? She might suffocate on the side of the bassinet.”

I had been planning on making the change to the crib after the 3-month mark, but the nagging got to me.

So we began the transition by keeping the bassinet in her room for a week, right next to the crib so that she will get used to sleeping in a new room. And last week, at the 9 week mark, we had her sleep in the crib for the very first time…and it was a success! It was as if nothing had changed, and we were still able to check in on the baby using our video baby monitor.


On 12/9 I tweeted this picture with the caption “Claire’s first night in her crib went fanstastically well.”

However, while she has no trouble sleeping in her crib at night, she still fights sleeping in her crib for her daytime naps — she will only sleep in her swing. Does anyone have any tips for solving this problem?

The Mama’s Body:

In the last state of the union post at 4.5 weeks, I had made it a goal to lose 10 more pounds by my 30th birthday…and I did it! I have lost a total of 40 lbs in 2 months, and I only have 10 more to go.

They say that the last 5-10 lbs are the most difficult to lose after having a baby, so I am giving myself a bit more time and am aiming to lose the rest by J’s birthday, on January 27.

A friend asked me what I was doing for the weight loss. I’m ashamed to say that so far, nothing. The first 30 lbs really just melted off without trying at all, and I must attribute the other 10 to my being sick (thrush, mastitis, then thrush again), quitting breastfeeding, and the stress of the past two weeks. In addition, I haven’t been eating nearly as much as I used to pre-baby. It’s almost as if the baby is “helping” me lose weight by starting to cry whenever I get a chance to sit down and eat.

My belly remains a bit flabby and stretched-out. And while I had a pretty cute belly button pre-pregnancy, it is now large, hollow, and droopy. I measured my waist and still have 4(!) inches to lose to return to my pre-pregnancy size. I guess this is where the remaining 10 lbs have been residing.

Here is what my belly looks like today (click to view, as I’m sure not everyone wants to see a post-partum belly):

As you can see, my linea nigra has faded some but still remains (when will it fade entirely?). As for the spots on my upper tummy? Those are acne scars. Pregnancy, and breastfeeding, led me to have HORRIBLE acne all over my back and shoulders, and some spread to my chest and upper belly as well.

Here is a side view where you can see the full extent of my stretch marks:

The stretch marks on my left side are slightly better, but not by much.

Compare my current linea nigra and the stretch marks to those at 25 weeks pregnant. And I thought those were bad!

They say that acne scars can take up to a year to fade away, and while my mother’s pregnancy stretch marks (in the same spots!) disappeared over time, I’m not sure how long it will take mine to diminish.

So even if I do return to my pre-pregnancy weight, I think it’s safe to say that my bikini-wearing days are over. It’s okay — I hardly go swimming anyway.

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Dec 9, 2010  •  In Funny, Geek, Star Wars

Nobody Liked Caroling with Yoda

Via Geeks are Sexy.

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Dec 9, 2010  •  In Christianity, NYC, Personal

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

A few weeks ago, the American Atheists caused quite a stir in the NY/NJ area by placing this billboard at the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel in New Jersey:

The Catholic League soon countered with its own billboard, aptly placed at the New York entrance to the tunnel:

Now it is no secret that I am a Christian, so I confess that I was a bit miffed about the Atheist billboard. However, I was no happier with the Catholic League’s response (although it must be noted that the billboard was paid for by a donor who specifically instructed that the money should be used for this purpose).

Christmas has always been a religious holiday for me. When I think of Christmas I immediately associate it with the celebration of the birth of Jesus, not Christmas trees, Santa, or presents.

(Yes, I am well aware that no one is certain of the exact date of Jesus’ birth, and that the Church borrowed the date from pagan holidays in order to make the transition to Christianity easier for early converts.)

So as much as I love this holiday, I do not feel the need to decorate my house or exchange gifts. Do I do so? Yes, but mostly because it has been ingrained in me by the culture that raised me. But with each ornament that is placed on the tree, with each ribbon that is wrapped around a gift, I do my best to remember the reason behind Christmas and be thankful for all that God has given us, especially the gift of His Son.

I know that many of my friends celebrate Christmas but purely in a secular way. Meaning that they put up a tree, exchange gifts, and maybe even play Christmas songs in the house, but they do not associate the holiday with the birth of Jesus.

I do not look down on those who do this. However, with the above billboards in mind, I cannot help but wonder if the non-religious folk who celebrate Christmas ever feel weird that they are celebrating a holiday that is so deeply rooted in Christianity? If so, do they act upon those feelings of guilt/annoyance (whatever they may be), or do they choose to ignore them?

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Dec 8, 2010  •  In Depression, Motherhood, Personal

I Do Not Have PPD

In response to my last post, many people have suggested that I go see a doctor and be screened for PPD (post partum depression).

And reading each one of those comments made me angry.

I couldn’t quite pinpoint the reason. They are just trying to be supportive — why the hate? Did my anger stem from their recognizing the ugly truth? Do I really have PPD?

I took a cold hard look at myself. And I realized: no. I do not have PPD.

If I had PPD, I would find no joy in my daughter’s gummy smiles, explosive farts, and sudden bursts of laughter.

If I had PPD, I would have little or no desire in taking care of my daughter.

If I had PPD, I would have thoughts of hurting myself or the baby.

If I had PPD, I would not be blogging. I would wrap myself in a cocoon of doubt, guilt, self-pity and tears and remain so for hours on end. I would refuse to leave the house. I would lash out in anger at my loved ones. I would definitely not be able to take care of the baby.

Trust me; I know. I have suffered depression in the past and while these baby blues may seem intense to my readers, it is nothing compared to what I am capable of.

The truth of the matter is that I am not, and have never been, a happy-go-lucky girl. I am not an energetic, carefree person who exudes joy. I have always been more dark, pessimistic, and melancholy than my peers. But this does not always come through in my blogging, so when it does, people jump to the conclusion that I have taken a turn for the worse.

So while I am grateful to have so many readers who are concerned on my behalf, my first instinct was to become angry that these internet strangers — who do not know anything about my life aside from what I choose to reveal on the web — were so quick to diagnose a very serious condition.

Let me emphasize that I am grateful for the support. Anger was only my first — and unwarranted — reaction.

(But to the one commenter who asked me why my life isn’t what I expected when I had tried so hard to have this baby, please be more sensitive in the future. Your comment reminded me of the one I had received a few weeks back that implied I should be more thankful and loving toward Claire because I had suffered a miscarriage prior to having her.)

On the other hand, I was sincerely thankful for those who sympathized with the many changes and milestones that I have been going through as of late (some of which I do not share online). They reaffirmed to me that yes, it is perfectly normal to go a little crazy with so much going on.


I don’t share everything online. And while this blog may not clearly show it,
I am growing to (happily) love my daughter more and more each day.

In addition, those who are still reading this rant should note that my baby blue were definitely getting better…then got worse a couple of weeks ago. When I quit breastfeeding. And wouldn’t you know it — quitting breastfeeding apparently throws your hormones (and emotions) waayyyy out of whack, and the side effects are much worse when you quit cold-turkey, as I have.

And let’s face it: turning 30 isn’t easy for everyone. I am entitled to some tears, no?


P.S. — My birthday, while commencing on a sour note, turned out quite well at the end. J decided to take a day off from work and kept me company while I wallowed in the realization of turning 30. Later that night, he dragged me to a steakhouse (which has now become my new favorite restaurant this side of the Hudson River) and we had a lovely dinner while his parents watched the baby. I love this man.

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Dec 7, 2010  •  In Personal

Thirty

Today is my thirtieth birthday.

And it is turning out to be the worst birthday that I can remember.

Actually, the past couple of weeks have been pretty horrible overall.

This past Friday, I discovered that J was planning a surprise party for later that night and I became furious at him.

How dare he plan a party at home when the house is a mess and he knows that I’m in no condition to entertain? That whenever we have more than two guests at a time, and/or they stay past 8pm, the baby gets overstimulated and becomes particularly difficult when it comes time to put her to sleep?

How dare he plan a party for 8:30pm when he knows that the baby’s fussy time is between the hours of 8pm and midnight? When the only thing that keeps her from screaming bloody murder is to be held tightly by her mommy, and that even then she’ll cry and fuss?

How dare he plan a party for the day that the baby is scheduled to receive her 2-month vaccinations? Doesn’t he know that she might have an adverse reaction to the shots? Doesn’t he know that she might develop a fever and will most likely be extra cranky? (Which turned out to be true.)

Party canceled.

Crying baby, crying mommy, flustered dad.

I loved him for the effort, but I couldn’t get over the overwhelming sense that my own husband must not know me — our family — well enough to plan such a poorly thought-out shindig.

And that was just one night.

The rest of the week was a flurry of dark emotions and mini breakdowns. I lost 5 lbs in one week. Which is great for my post-partum weight loss plans. But you can see the toll that my thoughts — the pressure of being a new mom, turning 30 and my life not being what I had imagined/hoped it to be, the realization that my life and my body will never be the same again, irrepressible guilt over everything, especially for having these thoughts — had on my body.

So yes. I have a roof over my head. I have a loving husband. I have a healthy baby. I have a dog who goes ballistic at the mere thought of losing me. I have others who obviously care for me and want me to be happy.

I have nothing that indicates I should be having a horrible birthday, yet I am.

I didn’t have to cancel the party. I could’ve asked for a quiet dinner out with close friends and leave the baby with J’s parents. I could’ve asked for at least a birthday cupcake and a candle to blow out. I could’ve asked for a celebratory glass of wine and a toast in my honor.

Instead, I am getting nothing as a result. And I am well aware that it is my own damn fault.

Pity party for one, please.

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Dec 3, 2010  •  In Art/Design, Baby, Cute, Education, Geek, Star Wars

A is for Ackbar

Graphic designer Brandon Peat created a series of Star Wars alphabet prints in order to decorate his son Tycho’s nursery. The result is magnificent to say the least!

The prints have been compiled into a book titled A is for Ackbar, which can be purchased by donating a minimum of $15 to Tycho’s college fund. And according to the product/donation page, the volume of donations have been so overwhelming that the donation drive will now end on Thursday, December 9 at 11:59PM EST. What a fun and creative way to decorate your little one’s nursery, celebrate one of the greatest film franchises of all time, and build a healthy education fund!

I had featured Star Wars ABC Cards before, but I must admit that these alphabet prints are cuter and much more kid-friendly.

Via The Daily What.

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Dec 2, 2010  •  In Books, Cute, Geek

Harry Pupper

I. Just. Can’t. Handle.

Via The Daily What.

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Dec 1, 2010  •  In Funny, Geek, Music

Cosplay With My Heart

I know that Bruno Mars’ “Just the Way You Are” is one of the most overplayed songs of the year, but I love it all the same for the catchy tune and oh-so-sweet lyrics.

When I see your face there’s not a thing I wouldn’t change
‘Cause you’re amazing, just the way you are
And when you smile, the whole world stops and stare for a while
‘Cause you’re amazing, just the way you are

So when College Humor released the parody song and video, “Cosplay With My Heart,” I immediately pressed ‘play’ and allowed my geeky side to mingle with my inner pop music enthusiast. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Via Fashionably Geek.

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Nov 30, 2010  •  In Books, Entertainment, Geek

Popular TV/Movie Characters Sorted into Hogwarts Houses

What if your favorite television/movie character were to attend the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? Where would the Sorting Hat assign them?

I remember taking a Sorting Hat quiz aeons ago and finding out that I would be sorted into Ravenclaw. As much as the books make Gryffindor to be the house to be in, I think that I would fare best in Ravenclaw too — courage is not, and never has been, my strong suit!

Which house do you think you would be sorted into?

Via Geekologie.

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