Geek in Heels - Page 113

Nov 7, 2010 • In Guest Posts, Home, Travel

Guest Post: Suburbs to City

In my almost-30 years of existence, I have only lived in three areas: Daegu, South Korea; the New York metropolitan area, and Baltimore. Although I love to travel, the thought of moving to a brand-new city terrifies me. So when Michelle offered to do a guest post on her big move from a suburban town to San Francisco, I knew it would be a fun and illuminating read. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

First of all, thanks so much to Jenny for letting me guest post for her while she is getting some rest and enjoying the amazing new addition to the family. I’m lucky to know Jenny through blogging for Weddingbee. Geek in Heels is hands down one of my favorite blogs. I know that every day I will find something that makes me smile, think or immediately copy-paste the link and send to my husband or a friend. On a regular day I’m blogging for my own blog, Blissful Musings that is basically a random collection of whatever happens to come to mind that day. I’m a little intimidated to post for one of my favorite blogs, but here goes nothing…

We’ve experienced some life-changing events the last few years. The most recent happened a few months ago. We moved to The City.

I sound like I experienced “The Tale of Two Cities” or something right? Not really. We both were born and raised in Southern California and I spent most of my life growing up in San Diego. We went to college in LA, stayed in the area for our first jobs, and got our first apartment after being married in Orange County not far from where Mark grew up. Basically we have never moved outside a 2 hour driving radius and most of that time has been spent in the suburbs. Yes, LA is a big city, but our college was in Malibu which is kind of like an unrealistic but lovely bubble.

We were at a comfortable place in life. We lived in a brand-new 1 bedroom apartment in Irvine, everything we wanted/needed was at our finger-tips, had comfortable jobs while I plucked away at earning 3000 hours to be a licensed MFT, enjoyed a community of family and friends that we had grown up with and created in college and settled into life as a married couple. We were content.

Then suddenly came the opportunity for change. I won’t go into the long story because that is not the point of this post, but basically Mark was offered a job in San Francisco out of the blue. Looking at the situation we are young, don’t own a house, kids are years down the road and most of all we could. With all possible obstacles being cleared, we decided to just go for it. Life in the city? Why not? And so we moved.

We now live in the wonderful city of San Francisco. And life has changed.

I knew my daily life was changed the day after we arrived in San Francisco. My mother-in-law called from the hotel she was staying in up the street to help us move in. Describing the scene she was observing out the window, she exclaimed to me, “I just saw a giant carrot run by! I think I either see naked people or they are wearing nude body suits. Oh, I just saw a butt crack. Yep, they are naked.” I walked out our condo building to see spandex, sequins, nudity and alcohol being consumed way too early in the morning. We had just so happened to move during San Francisco’s annual Bay to Breakers. Awesome? Welcome to San Francisco.

Here are a few highlights of city life:

Good-bye Car!
I have a 7 minute walk to work. Yep, best commute ever! I get some fresh air, a little exercise and before I know it I’m at work. Good-bye traffic, unless you count men in business suits flying by you on scooters. We used to have 2 cars, but sold one since we only have one parking spot where we live. We rarely drive the car unless it’s the weekend and have filled up on gas maybe once a month since we moved. We walk to the grocery store, nearby restaurants and coffee shops. We have our clipper cards and use public transportation to get to different parts of the city. You never know what you are going to see on the muni (bus). It’s been liberating to not rely solely on my car to get me from A to B.

Diversity & Culture
Diversity and culture are encountered daily in San Francisco. I love the Chinatown is a quick bus ride away, but go a little further and you are in little Italy. Incredible museums like the de Young and SF MOMA are always there to explore and hosting numerous exhibits in addition to the permanent collections. The city is accepting of who you are and where you are at in life and it’s fascinating the range of people that call this place home (read this blog for a taste: http://iliveheresf.com/). I’m constantly challenged to learn whether it’s a conversation with someone I am standing in line next to, trying to understand a new modern art exhibit or being immersed in a culture that I have never been a part of before.

Food
Can we just talk about the amazing restaurants that are in the city are within an hour drive? Seriously my restaurant wish list is a mile long and enough to break the budget. Just watch the Travel channel and Food channel and San Francisco will be on some top restaurant/must have this/best food ever show. Or try checking things off 7×7’s 100 Things to Try Before You Die. I have a whole blog post coming up on restaurants in the city as it deserves some attention of its own. It’s a great excuse for a date night to try a new cuisine of food. Even my cooking has changed as we have access to numerous farmer’s markets all over the city. Who knew there more than 7 varieties of plums and they all taste different? Our favorite Saturday morning are spent wandering the Ferry Building and exploring the seasonal produce that fills the aisles.

Events
There is always something to do in the city. Not that we were couch potatoes before, but being in the city we are encouraged to get out of the house and go do something different. We have gone to Giants games (hello World Series), sampled sweets at the Chocolate Festival, admired the Blue Angels during Fleet Week and stood in line for moon-cakes in Chinatown during the Moon Festival. It brings excitement into our relationship as we experience new fun things and build new memories.

Meeting New People
I add this as a highlight, but it’s also been challenging. It’s hard to move somewhere new where you don’t know many people. I was lucky to know my coworkers and have extended family in the area. I’ve also discovered real life friends in some of my blog friends and Weddingbees. I never would have guess how thankful I’d be for my blog friends, but they were the ones who gave me advice for the best neighborhoods, where to eat and have been willing to meet in person for coffee and dinner. We joined an alumni chapter from college and have been having fun meeting people and connecting over the simple common ground of coming from the same university.

Moral of the story besides San Francisco is awesome and you should visit? Being content in your life is a wonderful and amazing thing, but don’t let it keep you from experiencing new and finding a challenge that leads to something beyond your expectations. Has it been hard as well? Of course and we don’t ignore that part. We miss family and friends and it’s hard to start over building a community. But, we have gained so much individually and grown in our relationship together.

It’s a season of life that will not last forever, but we are embracing every minute we can. Because I know we’ll always look back and say, “Remember when we lived in the city and…”

What have you done in your life that is like a leap of faith, but was totally worth it?

About the Author:

Michelle is a sorta newlywed (just over a year) living in San Francisco. She is in the field of psychology working to become a licensed MFT. She and Mark (aka M&M) spend their spare time discovering the new city and just generally laughing and having fun. Her blog Blissful Musings focuses on her random thoughts and hobbies that include crafting, trying to be a cook, decorating on a budget and learning to sew.

I Am Not a Prisoner

A few days ago, I sent out the following tweet which caused quite a stir:

I immediately received dozens of replies, which were soon followed by emails and private messages from those who were worried that I was being held prisoner in my own house.

And as much as it warmed my heart to know that so many people cared, all the concern made me laugh a bit because it simply was not true.

Allow me to clarify.

My husband comes from a very traditional Chinese family and he himself holds many of those traditional beliefs as well. The Chinese believe that the first month after giving birth is the most precarious for the mother and the baby; Chinese custom dictates that both the mother and baby be isolated from the outside world (for fear of foreign germs) and be taken care of by other family members (or live-in helpers) for the first 30 days. For the first 30 days, a new mother’s only concern is to eat, sleep, recover, and produce milk for the baby.

While I am not Chinese, the Korean culture holds similar beliefs in that the mother and baby should have a similar confinement period where they are kept warm and be under the care of others for as long as possible.

(For more on Asian post-partum practices, check out this link.)

Another thing that both cultures have in common is the importance of families, and the belief that it takes an extended family to raise a child. As such, it is not uncommon for a new mother and baby to go live with her parents or in-laws for a few months after giving birth, or have a family member (most often the mother’s mother, or the mother-in-law) to come stay for a few months after birth.

If you recall, I was vehemently against this practice prior to having the baby. However, all that changed once the baby came into our lives.

The day after giving birth, the hospital had me fill out various forms which included an application for a Social Security card, birth certificate information, and a screening for post-partum depression (PPD).

A few hours later, a nurse informed me that I had tested on the border for PPD.

I knew that with my history with major depression, I was at a higher risk than most women for PPD. The hospital’s policy required that I speak with a social worker before being discharged, and this is what I did.

One thing that I learned from speaking with the social worker was that one of the symptoms of PPD is either a severe attachment to the baby OR a severe detachment from the baby.

And as I have been chronicling here on this blog, I have been feeling detached from Claire ever since the moment of birth.

More than 5 weeks after having the baby, I am finally starting to feel a small bond, and I hope that this will grow as I continue to nurture it. However, those first few weeks were tough. There were times when I didn’t want anything to have to do with the baby.

There was also the fact that J needed to go back to work after just two weeks. And as much as my parents wanted to help, they have two businesses to manage.

That’s how my in-laws became my saviors.

J’s parents, who are retired, are visiting from Hong Kong for the first three months of Claire’s life. Since there is no extra bed for them at our place, they are staying with J’s brother and come over almost every day to help with the baby so that I can rest during the day and retain my sanity.

I won’t lie — sometimes I do resent them. Sometimes I feel like they’re hogging the baby, and I worry that my own child will become closer to them than to her own mother. Sometimes I feel my MIL’s eyes scrutinize my every move whenever the baby is in my arms. Sometimes I see my house — my domain — being invaded and changed (this is especially true of the kitchen) and I feel violated. And as much as my MIL tries her best to clean after herself and my FIL, I like everything spotless and organized just so due to my OCD tendencies and the old adage “no help is better than bad help” has popped into my head on more than a few occassions.

But without my in-laws, I probably would have switched to formula a long time ago because I wouldn’t have had the time or energy to keep pumping in order to bring up my milk supply. Without them, I probably would’ve had many more meltdowns than just the one last weekend. And without them, my “possible” PPD may have progressed to full-blown PPD.

If you look at the date of the tweet in question, it was posted on November 2, just three days after the 30-day confinement period had passed.

(And to answer your question, no I did not stay indoors the entire 30 days. I left the house for doctor appointments, and a couple of short trips to the stores towards the end.)

As much as I would have loved to strap Claire to the stroller and go for a walk by the river, Asian cultures believe that cold weather can be detrimental to an already-fragile body. So with the weather growing colder with each passing day, my in-laws, J, and my parents want to keep Claire’s exposure to the cold as minimal as possible.

Do I think some fresh — albeit cold — air could be good for the baby? Sure. But the fact of the matter remains that I am vastly outnumbered in this debate.

And truthfully, it’s just not that important to me. If the issue on hand were one that I feel passionate about, sure I would fight for what I believe. But not being able to take my newborn girl outside when I can easily just go by myself or wait a few days to go with the dog (because Comang would be re-joining the ranks shortly) was not something to fight about. At least, not to me.

So no, I am not being held prisoner in my own house.

And no, I am not hating my in-laws visiting almost every day to help with the baby.

And whenever I feel resentment toward them at all, all I have to do is remind myself how lucky I have it that I have people who obviously care very much for the baby take care of her for free. They are here for only another two months — how much will they miss her when they’re back in Hong Kong, when my own parents, who live only 45 minutes away, call every day to whine about how much they miss her?

Relationships are built on love and compromise. I’m sure that some of my readers will not be able to understand my stance on this issue, and that’s okay. Like I’ve said before, this is what works for my family and we are happy with it.

iPhone vs Android vs BlackBerry

How these smartphone users view themselves (and others):

Via Geekologie.

Guest Post: Freezer Meals

Today’s guest post comes from one of my favorite food bloggers, Amy. While J and I have been very fortunate in that our mothers have been cooking up a storm for us since the arrival of the baby, we would most likely have gone the freezer route if the grandmothers weren’t so readily available (or willing!). Enjoy!

Hi, I’m Amy, and I write for my food blog called The Nifty Foodie. I love cooking and baking, but I also understand that most of us just do not enjoy slaving over a stove for a meal every single night, and for that reason, I wanted to tell you about one of the neatest assets available to you in your kitchen: the freezer.

You might think of your freezer as your ice cream haven or a spot to store those TV dinners. (Trust me, I do too.) However, as I’ve grown to love cooking, I’ve realized my freezer is quickly becoming one of my greatest assets in the kitchen.

You can totally make the majority of your meals and store them in the freezer to be used weeks, or even, months later! This works out well for new moms, who just don’t have time to stand over a stove for almost an hour, or even for those who would rather their precious time to relax in the evenings after a long day at work! All of the preparation takes maybe a few hours on a Sunday, resulting in easy, quick and delicious meals for every night of the week!

Another awesome thing to use the freezer for is baked goods. In my situation, it’s just me and the hubs. We don’t need a whole cake, a batch of cookies or 24 dinner rolls, but I love to bake! You can easily freeze cookie dough, cake batter and bread dough (after the first rising) and then thaw a few hours in the fridge before you’re ready to bake! Convenient and much more waist friendly, no?

As far as storage goes, there are tons of great ways to store your food. The hubs and I own a Foodsaver, which has easily paid for itself in the past years (just based on buying meat in bulk and packaging into portions for two). However, if you aren’t up for buying another appliance, ziploc freezer bags work well.

When storing in freezer bags, the key is to get the food as flat/stackable as possible. You’d be surprised how much you can store once you get things flat. I do this by placing bags on a cookie sheet and letting them set/freeze for a couple of hours.

For casseroles and such, you can purchase the disposable aluminum pans and store in those. Our local dollar store has many sizes available, and are way cheaper than what regular grocery stores charge for them. You can also purchase the disposable plastic containers, and store food in those. Just make sure they say that they list that they are freezer safe.

For some great freezer friendly recipes and ideas/tips, check out some of these sites:
http://joelens.blogspot.com/2007/01/freezer-friendlymake-ahead.html
http://allrecipes.com/HowTo/Freezing-Foods-A-Real-Time-Saver/Detail.aspx
http://www.southernliving.com/food/whats-for-supper/easy-freezer-meals-00400000009133/
http://www.foodnetwork.com/quick-and-easy/freezer-friendly-recipes/index.html

I hope you decide to give freezer meals a chance. You will find that your weeks are much, much easier with ready-made meals and expensive take-out will be much less tempting as well!

About the Author:

I’m Amy, and I’m a Martha wannabe from Louisiana. I enjoy cooking, baking, crafts and gardening. I also have a slight obsession with LSU football. 🙂 You can find my food adventures here: http://www.theniftyfoodie.com/food/ and my life adventures here: http://www.theniftyfoodie.com/life/.

Meet Cloudy

When my younger sister posted the first picture of herself holding her niece Claire on Facebook, she captioned it: “In the words of Phil Dunphy: ‘Claire? Isn’t that gonna be hard for her to say?'”

(If you don’t get the joke, go watch the pilot episode of Modern Family. Hilarious! What a great show!)

My sister’s words had a ring of truth to them, because according to my mother, we couldn’t have picked a worse name for Asians to enunciate — it has both an L and an R! — and NONE of the grandparents can pronounce it correctly.

In fact, one night my father mistakenly called Claire “Cloudy” instead. Where he got the extra syllable, no one knows. But the error managed to crack everyone up and Claire’s first nickname was born.

My sister took the joke a step further and gifted Claire with a teddy bear wearing a shirt embroidered with the word “Cloudy” (and as an added bonus, the bear plays the theme from Star Wars when you squeeze its left paw). Here’s a snapshot of Claire — the first Cloudy — with Cloudy the bear:

J loves Cloudy the bear so much that he plans on taking a photo of Claire and Cloudy together every night to record her growth. Right now they are about the same size, but we have no doubts that she will soon become significantly larger than the bear…after all, we discovered at her pediatrician appointment yesterday that she had gained almost three pounds in just a month!

As for the grandparents, they have given up on trying to pronounce “Claire” correctly. They now call her by her respective Chinese (君婷) and Korean (다정) names.

Guest Post: Branding Your Blog

With some social media experience under my belt (in addition to freelancing work that has led me to some top social media mavens), the topic of blogging and branding your blog has always held a special interest in my heart. In this guest post, reader Kate talks about the importance of branding your blog and chronicles her journey in re-branding. Enjoy!

What do you do when your blog isn’t such a good fit for you anymore?

I have been wondering about this for a while now. There were many times I would post something and think, “Wow, my blog really has nothing to do with what it’s called.” Usually I would shrug it off and tell myself it didn’t really matter. After all, I didn’t have rockstar-type traffic, but I have loyal readers.

Lesson 1: What your call your blog actually does matter.

Honestly, it didn’t matter until I finished my first book — a book that had nothing to do with the blog. Suddenly the difference between the name of my blog and the content seemed huge. The target audiences for my book and my blog are quite different. My blog — The Domestic Empress — was focused on anything domestic: cooking, baking, crafts, decorating, clothing, etiquette — you name it. My book is young adult fiction (think Twilight meets Gossip Girl). While my family, close friends, and loyal readers are willing to transition between subjects without complaining, I doubt that random internet passers-by would want to take the time to figure out why these two seemingly opposite things are sharing space.

Lesson 2: Consider your audience.

First impressions are everything. So I needed to change things a bit, but I didn’t want to abandon the blog I worked so hard to build. When I bought my domain, I envisioned that it would be an all-encompassing name for anything that might happen in the future. I had fun building The Domestic Empress — my very own lifestyle brand (move over, Martha!). I pictured cookbooks, a line of adorable aprons, and of course, my own magazine.

Lesson 3: How memorable is your blog name?

What happens if you search it? I definitely didn’t picture writing books to be in my future. If my name was going to be on the cover of my books, I needed to put my name on my blog and so Kate Sullivan Blogs was born (Yes, I know it’s dangerous for many reasons to have too much personal information on the internet and I’m very careful about what I share).

Lesson 4: Consistency is crucial.

It is really exciting to have a new blog — a fresh start, so to speak. But now I’m faced with the task of starting almost from scratch — a major downer when you’ve worked really hard to build up your following. I am, however, just obsessively organized enough to love the fact that there’s a place for everything I write and everything is in its place. I still write The Domestic Empress, but that blog is more focused on domesticity now. Even though it’s hard to feel like I’m starting over with the new blog, I’m actually doing my first blog a big favor.

Lesson 5: Do you deliver what you promise?

If you’re a blogger too and you’ve ever wondered why your blog doesn’t have the traffic you want, or if you want to start blogging, these things might be a good place to start. Of course there are a lot of steps to building up a following and I’m not an expert, but there are plenty of experts out there blogging about this very subject (I turn to Chris Garrett most often, but there are others). And I bet there are experts reading this blog right now. What do you think? Are there other aspects you would consider?

About the Author:

I’m Kate, a 25 year old blogger living in the suburbs of DC. I’ve always been passionate about writing and am busy working on my second book, a sequel to my novel Paired which releases on Amazon in October. When I’m not writing, I’m indulging my domestic side by cooking, organizing, decorating, or crafting. For my latest lifestyle projects, decorating ideas, recipes, or craft adventures you can visit TheDomesticEmpress.com You can read all about me, my writing projects, and other random musings at KateSullivanBlog.com.

Guest Post: Baby Budgeting — Milk (And Another Giveaway!)

Here is Donna’s third and final post of her fantastic series on baby budgeting: milk.

Considering how much trouble I am having breastfeeding, I won’t be lying if I were to say that I get very tempted to switch on over to formula. However, I will persevere for the time being and if I do end up going the formula route in the future, this is another post I will have bookmarked.

Donna has also graciously offered to give away a $5 Amazon e-certificate. Just leave a comment to this post by Friday, 11/5/2010 and a winner will be chosen by a random number generator. Be sure to include your email address so that we can contact you if you win. Good luck, and a huge thanks to Donna!

Milk

I am going to preface this post that it may be graphic at times and if you are easily insulted, stop reading.

I know what they say: Breast is best. But breastfeeding was the HARDEST thing that I have ever had to do in my life. I know that it’s great, bonding with the baby and good for the baby, but I struggled so hard.

I breastfed my son (from my left breast) for the first five weeks. Week 5, he FINALLY accepted my right boob and breastfed from both. What did we do beforehand? When he woke up, I would feed him from my right one. Then, my husband would have to take over, change him and entertain him for 15 minutes while I attempted to pump (mostly for the left one). My son was purely on breast milk for the first five months but considering that I had to go back to work after 6 weeks of maternity leave, trying to breastfeed and pump continuously through the day was really exhausting and really difficult when you didn’t necessarily have a supportive work environment.

Anyway, my point is — you’re not going to be a bad mother if you don’t breastfeed. If you can breastfeed, the more power to you — you’ll save yourself money, help you lose that pregnancy weight and give your kid those extra antibodies. However, with formula, heck, you can head straight back to the gym without the milk-filled breasts bouncing all over the place. AND you can drink alcohol and eat whatever you want. Maybe it’s selfish but when I had to stop eating broccoli because it was giving my son gas, I was sad and felt guilty that what I ate hurt him. I also had to hold off on alcohol and sushi, as well.

Saving money while breastfeeding — see if you can get a used pump but get new tubing. That cost will be very significant.

Saving money with formula — I recommend signing up for Enfamil, Similac, Good Choice, and even Sam’s Club because you get free cans of formula all the time! Also, stalk www.freecycle.org because people will also give away free sample cans, as well.

I shopped three places for formula: Costco, Target and Jewel/Osco. If you prefer to use Enfamil, I recommend Costco — 36.5 oz (Enfamil Premium with triple health guard) for only $32.49 AND it comes with a free box of the travel sticks (16 total in the box) so ultimately you’re getting 100.5 oz (roughly 16.75 bottles of 6oz each) for only $32.49 and 32cents per oz. But keep in mind, they don’t take the manufacturers coupons/checks here.

Also, through Costco — my son Neddy will drink their store brand formula contently (it does foam up a LOT though) but it’s only $19.79 for a package of two tins of 25.7oz each so we usually pick up at least 1-2 packages each time. Neddy used to drink about 30oz a day or 5-6 bottles a day which equals one 25.7oz tin a week.

For powder sticks (perfect for traveling/going out because it’s a pre-measured 4oz of formula), I prefer to go with Similac because their $5 manufacturer’s checks are good for ANYTHING by Similac so instead of paying $9.99 for a box of powder sticks, I get it for only $4.99 instead. Also, I like the Similac tins because the scoop is actually in the lid and you don’t have to get your hands dirty digging around for the scoop so I save the Similac tins and use that for storing other powder (and I save the Costco/Enfamil tins for my holiday cookies!).

I totally scored a great deal on Similac yesterday at Target — there was a coupon in the mail for buy two, get one free + $2 off Target coupon AND I was able to use the $5 check so the original price was $52.48 but I only paid $34.98.

Now, Jewel/Osco for Enfamil formula — but only the small tins of formula. Why? Because Jewel keeps giving me these ‘buy one, get one free coupons’ which is stackable on top of the manufacturers coupons! So, the best part was buying two tins originally worth $13.99 each and getting one free, but using my $5 off manufacturers coupon and getting two tins for only $8.99!

Best of luck to you for this first year of feeding your child. I was going to go into making your own baby food but it seems like I’ve rambled on long enough!

Thank you, Jenny, for letting me be a guest blogger — I’ve enjoyed sharing my personal experiences with all of you and welcome any feedback. If any of you are interested in following my personal blog, you’ll have to send me an email introducing yourself especially since mine is privatized.

State of the Union, 4.5 Weeks

“Do you still want more kids, seeing how hard it’s been so far?” I asked J yesterday.

“Of course,” he replied. “It may be hard now, but the rewards will be worth it.”

“Well, I don’t want any more kids,” I told him. “I can’t imagine going through this again, especially if we have another child to take care of. Claire can be an only child.”

J didn’t say anything back, but I could tell what he was thinking: ‘She’ll change her mind.’

It has now been 4.5 weeks since Claire was born, and I can honestly say that motherhood is the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life. And I have it easy: my in-laws come over almost every day so that I can get some rest during the daytime — how many mothers have to go at it alone? How spoiled am I?

However, even though I know that Claire is in good hands with J’s parents, I still wake up whenever I hear her fussing or crying. What’s more, my breasts hurt whenever I hear her crying. My body has developed an eerie connection to my daughter’s distress calls, and although I found it pretty neat at first, now it has gotten plain annoying.

Feeding:

I still exclusively pump. I have tried nursing several times, but Claire remains a lazy and impatient suckler who much prefers the bottle to the breast.

Even if I were nursing successfully, I’m not sure that I would love it, because I honestly hate breastfeeding. My breasts are so large that I constantly have backaches (if they do not go back down after we wean, I plan on looking into breast reduction surgery — that’s how bad it is). Whenever my breasts start filling with milk they hurt. And the hormones that come along with breastfeeding are making me break out like crazy. My bacne is so gross that I cringe whenever I catch a glimpse of my back or shoulders in the mirror. I am getting pimples in places I have never gotten them before, like on my ears. I mean, who the heck gets zits on their ears?

I had originally planned on breastfeeding for the entire first year, but now I am considering stopping after six months. I am already experiencing mommy guilt for this.

Weight Loss:

Post-partum weight loss is currently at 30lbs. If you recall, I had gained about 50lbs with this pregnancy. (Technically, I gained 40lbs…but since I never lost the extra 10lbs I had gained with the previous pregnancy before getting pregnant again, I am counting that extra 10.) So I have 20lbs to go. The first 30 literally just melted off…but I have a feeling that I will have to work for the last 20. It will be a long road ahead.

This past Saturday we had Claire’s full moon dinner (a traditional Chinese celebration in honor of the baby having survived the precarious first 30 days of life) and I was devastated to see that the only dresses that fit me were my maternity dresses. J asked if I wanted to go shopping to get a new dress, but I refused. To me, buying clothes in larger sizes will keep me lazy — not having any nice clothes to wear until I lose the weight will motivate me to lose weight.

I turn 30 in one month. My goal is to have lost another 10lbs by then.

Sleeping/Soothing:

Claire is a difficult baby. There is nothing — and I mean NOTHING, because I have tried everything I had read/heard — that will consistently put her at ease and let her sleep. It seems like she is like me in that she gets bored easily, because a new method will work for the first day/hours…only to lose its magic once she gets used to it.

We have lost hundreds of dollars and countless hours of sanity on baby soothing techniques: tight swaddling, bouncer, swing, baby wearing, sound machines, etc. (And we can’t “test-drive” or borrow any baby gear before buying, because we don’t have any friends with kids who live nearby.) Our only hope is that she will become less fussy as she grows older.

Yesterday we experienced what was probably the most difficult 24-hour period since she was born. She was fussy all day, would not sleep for more than 15 minutes at a time, and NOTHING would calm her down.

At around 4am, I lost it. I experienced my first mommy meltdown. While walking around, bouncing my crying baby in my arms, I started to sob hysterically and I could not stop. I was yelling at the baby, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT? JUST TELL ME, SO I CAN HELP YOU!!!” I guess I was making quite a ruckus, because J — the deepest sleeper I know — woke up to both his wife and baby crying, and was forced to calm both of us down despite having an early morning meeting at work in just a few hours.

Bonding:

I feel ashamed to write this…I really do. But the fact of the matter is, I still don’t feel that I LOVE my baby.

Between sobs last night, I told J that whenever I see him with Claire, I see the love in his eyes and that whatever he does for her, he does out of love. But for me, I feel that I mostly take care of her out of obligation. I know — it’s a horrible thing to say and I feel like I’m in the running for the worst mommy of the year award.

The good news is that I feel that I’m getting there. Slowly but surely. I definitely have much more affection for her than the day we brought her home from the hospital. As mentioned above, my boobs have certainly bonded with her cries. And people have told me that whenever I hold Claire, she seems more relaxed than with any other person…and that makes me tremendously happy.

Additionally, I know that at this point in their development, babies’ smiles are not in response to outside stimuli. However, my heart melts whenever I see the goofy grin develop on Claire’s face. And that can only mean that her happiness means the world to me.

We have yet to capture her smile on camera. So for now, this slightly confused look will have to do.

Paris vs New York

Paris vs New York is a whimsical blog which showcases illustrated comparisons between the two cities. Not only are the style of illustrations right up my alley (cute and minimalist), the comparisons themselves lead readers to wonder which city comes up best.

Just from a quick look, it seems as if the author of the blog is biased toward Paris, and I can definitely see why he thinks so. However, as much as I love Paris and strolling through the city of lights, I will always be a New York girl at heart.

Via Kottke.

Guest Post: Top 20 Most Awesome/Least Awesome TV Characters

This post comes courtesy of my dear internet buddy, Girl on the Park. It is one that hits home for TV junkies like myself, and I spent quite some time reading and re-reading it, nodding in agreement while chuckling and marveling over the remarkable writing style dripping in sarcasm.

It also brought me down memory lane, as some of the shows mentioned are ones I’ve held dear to my heart for over a decade.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

Something you should know about me — I’m kind of a pop culture fiend. I love movies and books and I also really love TV. I own a ridiculous number of shows on DVD and am always eager to make a new awesome discovery. Anyway, I started thinking about my favourite TV characters the other day and came up with a list of the best and worst ones. Read along and see if you agree!

TV Characters I Do Not Like

Marissa Cooper, The OC
Marissa Cooper was supposedly the golden girl of this show. She was supposed to be sexy, stylish and scintillating. Instead, she was really boring. Maybe it was the writing, maybe it was the fact that Mischa Barton delivered her lines with either google eyed disbelief or like she was about to lapse into a coma, but whatever it was, nothing helped. Not drugs, not breakdowns, not sexing the gardener or the local surf Nazi could make her interesting and so by the time Marissa bit the big one at the end of Season Three, it was kind of a relief that they weren’t going to have to waste anymore screen time on her nonadventures.

Logan Huntzberger, Gilmore Girls
I never got why this douche was supposed to be the love of Rory’s life. It was like he had no personality outside of being a smarmy hipster version of Richie Rich. Even towards the end of the show when he lost all his money and was trying to make a go of it on his own, it still kind of seemed like he thought the world owed him something. Never was I so happy to see someone turn down a wedding proposal. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Rachel, Glee
I have only seen an episode of this show but I do not understand why this Rachel person is supposed to be the heart of Glee. Underneath her perky exterior, she seems insanely self-centred and hateful towards anyone she sees as a rival. What makes that something to root for?

Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
Look Carrie, here’s the thing: I know this show is about you, but you’re kind of an awful person. You’re bad with money and expect your friends to bail you out. You cheat on a dude who really loves you with your stupid married ex. You give up your job to follow your boyfriend overseas and then get pissed off that you have nothing to do. Your boyfriend proposes to you and instead of celebrating the relationship, you put the focus on wedding and then are surprised when being shallow and materialistic blows up in your face (not that your fiancé is a “Big” prize). You have legitimate relationship issues that almost cause you to cheat, but then your husband buys you something shiny and all is forgotten. When I was in my early 20s, I might have fallen for that cheap single girl heroine stuff, but now I know better. (Also, Miranda kicks your ass any day of the week.)

Sydney Bristow, Alias
Jack Bristow. Sloane. Vaughn. Sark. Weiss. Little Marshall Flinkman, the computer guy! I would have gladly watched shows built around any of these characters, but instead, I kind of felt like we got stuck with Sydney. She might have had wigs, she might have had kung fu moves, but she never really had my attention. Sorry Syd fans, but anyone who can make a show about superspies boring is a major dud.

TV Characters I Probably Shouldn’t Have Liked, But Did Anyway

Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars
My husband and I debate about Logan all the time. He says that Logan’s season one exploits of supplying people with roofies make him a loathsome and horrible person. I, on the other hand, am willing to give the guy a bit of a pass. Sure, he starts off as a “psychotic jackass,” but once you get to know the character, you have a better understanding of why he is the way he is. His dad beat him. His mom committed suicide. His girlfriend was murdered. Dumping that much sucky stuff on a character could make them an annoying “why me?” victim, but a combination of good writing and good acting choices on the part of Jason Dohring made him extremely watchable. Plus, the first time sparks flew between him and V was ten times hotter than things ever were with Duncan.

Titus Pullo, Rome
If you put Titus’ character down to his actions, he’s actually kind of awful. He killed the fiancé of a girl he liked because he was jealous. He cheated on his pregnant wife. He strangled his mistress. And he killed a whole bunch of people. Anyone else could have played the part like a mindless hateful thug, but Ray Stevenson brought such a great energy and humanity to role that you found yourself rooting for him in spite of all his violent past.

Al Swearengen, Deadwood
When I first started watching Deadwood, I wasn’t sure what to make of Al. He seemed prime villain material. But over time, I saw that while Al can certainly be a douche, he operates on logic and a certain set of morals. They might not exactly be my kind of morals, but watching him, you could see how he would come to certain conclusions and make certain decisions. If I had to choose between him, the dandiness of Cy Tolliver and the nastiness of George Hearst, I would vote Swearengen any day of the week. And damn if the man wasn’t quotable as all hell. “Don’t forget to kill Tim!”

Coach McGuirk, Home Movies
This might be kind of a cheat because this was a cartoon show, but McGuirk is kind of an amazing character. A broke, rage-filled, alcoholic soccer coach, he is designed to be unlikable and yet pretty much every episode, I found myself loving the crazy things that would come out of his mouth. Want an efficient coach? Go somewhere else. But if you want one that will call you a diseased chipmunk? Call John McGuirk. You’ll probably never win a tournament, but you’ll have a lot of laughs.

Gemma Teller Morrow, Sons of Anarchy
Peggy Bundy as a biker chick? How did that happen? I still don’t know, but it works. She’s encouraged a junkie to OD, she’s hit her husband’s mistress in the face with a skateboard and you just know that she’s keeping all sorts of juicy secrets from her loving son, but Katey Sagal’s performance as Lady Hamlet of the Hog set is actually pretty great. The fact that she didn’t earn any nominations for the work she did on SOA last season blows my mind. Look out Brenda Johnson and Betty Draper, because next year, Gemma’s mopping the floor with you marshmallows.

TV Characters I Started Out Liking, But Then Gradually Resented

Noel Crane, Felicity
Remember when our girl Felicity started school and then fell for her dreamy R.A.? Those were the days! The episode where the two of them tried to schedule sex and then started to get busy next to a burning Christmas tree was awesome. But then, everything started to fall apart. With all his lying, snooping, cheating, and secret marriages, Noel ended up being a lot more drama than he was worth and damaged, alcoholic track star Ben started to seem like the better bet. Sorry “Leon,” but better luck next time . . . perhaps in an alternate reality?

Ross Gellar, Friends
I feel about Ross kind of the same way I do about Noel. He started out adorable and his long standing crush on Rachel Green was enough to make junior high me swoon. After all, he was her lobster. But as the show went on and Ross and Rachel got together and broke up and got together and broke up, Ross became more and more of a caricature of what he had once been. High strung, dramatic, and marriage crazy, the sweetness we had once expected from Mr. Gellar was replaced with an instability that made him seem almost manic depressive. By the series’ finale, I wasn’t so much concerned that he and Rachel would get together; I was concerned that they would and that poor Rachel would spend the rest of her life having to deal with his irrational jealousy and angry outbursts. Bah!

Izzie Stephens, Grey’s Anatomy
I thought in the early days of Grey’s Anatomy that Izzie was an interesting character. She could have floated through life as the face of “Bethany Whisper,” a Victoria Secret-esqe brand of lingerie, but instead, she decided she wanted to be a doctor and so that is what she did. I even felt bad for her when her boyfriend Denny the Magical Heart Patient died. But then with the ghost sex and the generally being a bitch to everyone, I became less and less enchanted with her, until she ran me off the show completely.

Joey Potter, Dawson’s Creek
My dislike of Joey Potter was more of a slow build. In the early days of Dawson’s Creek, I was definitely a Joey fan. After all, we tall lanky brunettes have to stick together. But then I started to see the cracks. You see, Joey Potter is kind of like your tall pretty friend who knows she’s pretty but really likes to hear you say it, so she fishes for compliments. The number of times she referred to herself as “Poor little Joey Potter from the wrong side of the creek” started to drive me up the wall. Poor Joey’s too tall! Poor Joey’s too skinny! Poor Joey’s too smart! Poor Joey’s too good at art! Poor Joey’s too good at writing! Poor Joey has too many men interested in her! Also, what was up with her letting Dawson Leery control her whole life? I mean the guy was a mega moron with a giant forehead who made the same crappy autobiographical movie like four times! Pacey was the obvious choice!

Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under
When a show starts off with someone’s dad dying, you can’t help but feel sorry for them. Unfortunately for everyone in the viewing audience, Nate went on to squander that good will in a big way and became the most self-centred asshat ever. By the time he cheated on his wife (who was pregnant with a child they believed was special needs) with his stepsister and heartlessly dumped her, I was totally ready for him to shuffle off his mortal coil. What a jerk!

TV Characters I’ve Always Loved

Chandler Bing, Friends
The thing I liked about Chandler (aside from the fact that he is totally my sarcasm twin) is that he was really the only Friend that didn’t become a caricature of himself over the course of the show. He worked hard, he learned things, and he grew up. By the time he and Monica became parents, I actually felt a little impressed with his transition from crazy commitment phobe to loving husband and father. Way to go, dude.

Angela Chase, My So Called Life
I didn’t watch this show when it originally aired but I kind of had my own Angela Chase phase when I was a teenager. I dyed my hair red. I wore babydoll dresses. I overanalysed everything. I even had a debilitating crush on blue eyed plaid wearing dude (although for the record, he wasn’t illiterate and we never made out in the boiler room — instead he would talk at me and I would blush ferociously). While there are many people who lament the cancellation of this show and the fact that Angela picks Jordan Catalano over Brian Krakow, I kind of admire the show for choosing an ending that matches what a 15 year old would actually do. I just hope Brian was still available by the time Angela hit her “I dig serious soulful guys” phase.

Bill Haverchuck, Freaks and Geeks
Bill Haverchuck was possibly the geekiest of the geeks, but there was more to him than just mouth breathing and coke bottle glasses. He was thoughtful. He was adventurous. He was fair. He loved baseball and Dallas and his mom and he rocked Vicki Appleby’s world during 7 minutes in heaven. Plus, that little gawky dude could bust a move! Pretty awesome if you ask me.

Liz Lemon, 30 Rock
If Angela was me as a teenager, then Liz is me as an adult. I wear glasses and sneakers. I sing songs about cheese. I have forgotten my own birthday. I have had to jury rig my pants shut with a paperclip (don’t ask). But if I could find someone who loves crazy old me for me, I have faith that Liz’ll find someone who will love her for her wacky exasperated flatulent self.

Joan Holloway Harris, Mad Men
Being a lady in the 1960s wasn’t the greatest thing ever, but Joan Holloway Harris makes it look kind of awesome. She might have deferred to her male counterparts sometimes, but when required, she could kick some ass and take some names. With her style, her sass and smarts, Joan was a pretty progressive lady and a role model for her time.

So what say you, blogging audience? Do you agree or disagree with my list? Who are your favourite/least favourite TV characters?

About the Author:

Girl is a 28 year old publishing lackey who lives in Toronto, Ontario, Canada with her awesome artist husband, Boy, and her fluffy little troublemaker of a cat, Bean. She enjoys good books, good food, and making people feel incredibly short when she stands next to them in heels. When she is not out in the world having adventures, she can be found hunched over her trusty computer (Arthur Putey) making fun of pop culture and/or herself on her blog.