Geek in Heels - Page 117

Oct 15, 2010 • In Baby, Cute, Geek, Guest Posts, Shopping, Wishlist

Guest Post: Geeky Halloween Costumes for Babies

I had considered dressing Claire in a fun geeky costume this year for Halloween (this Yoda costume comes to mind) but a newborn who can’t even support her own head takes some of the fun out of the process. Luckily, Stephanie came to the rescue — last time, she enthralled us with geeky Halloween costumes and she returns today with geeky Halloween costumes for babies. The only problem that remains is which costume to choose!

With a new geek coming into the world (plus at least 3 babies among my friends and family) I thought that a collection of sweet and/or awesome baby and toddler costumes would be fitting.

Though you could take the Martha Stewart route and turn your baby into some sort of delicious platter, I think a thoroughly clever and resourceful costume would fit the bill as well, don’t you? Maybe a throwback to the wonder of Star Wars:

Princess Leia Hair Hat (and image) from Sew Can Do.

Or a Baby Yoda Hat found on Fanboy?

I personally appreciate the irony of these next two costumes: who doesn’t love a classy baby?

If you did the tux, Mom, Dad and baby could wear a tuxedo shirt! Very classy.

Babies are Risky Business (Tom would be proud, no?)!

The great thing about baby costumes is that they are, in effect, just miniatures of your favorite adult costumes (though one site I saw did say that babies already look like Yoda, so the ears just take the cake…). So something that I didn’t list tickles your fancy? Shrinky-dink it and have the baby costume of your dreams.

But before I go; is that your baby vibrating?

Buy (or diy) a funny iPhone or iPod costume for your favorite techie baby.

You’re decked out, your baby is decked out — it’s time to party! Deliciously spooky treats are on their way.

About the Author:

Stephanie is a third year college student, splitting her time between her laptop and sewing machine (and of course school and work!). When she’s not planning another do-it-yourself project, she catches up on what’s new in the blog-world and regales readers with her latest creations and revelations via Real Fine Place. If you like clever projects, innovation and authenticity, she would love to meet you.

Guest Post: Walking a Fine Line

I’ve found that most of my readers, or at least the ones who comment regularly, tend to be women. As such, I was THRILLED to receive an email from Nick who expressed interest in submitting a couple of guest posts. Even better, Nick is an extremely talented writer (just check out his bio — wow!) whose blog I find thoroughly entertaining and subscribed to almost immediately.

Here, Nick writes about his new role in life as a new dad and the ever-changing relationship he experiences with his 4-month-old daughter. (And I would be lying if I were to say that it didn’t bring a tear to my eyes.) Enjoy!

There is a fine line to walk with this little girl of mine.

Abby is now four months old, a little bundle of teething-induced spittle, squawking catcalls, and silly smiles. She has reached a degree of intellectual development that allows her to grab a hold of anything within her tiny reach, and she has just enough control to shove whatever it is she has straight into her mouth. It is a far cry from her early days of being limp as noodle and asleep half the day.

But as fun as she is now, I miss my newborn.

Yes she was helplessly tiny, swollen, bleary-eyed and none too willing to vocalize beyond a very shrill wail. She was also my baby. My baby. We went through a year-and-a-half of fertility treatment and buckets of tears to get her into the world, and I didn’t want to let a second of her life go by without me treasuring it (and documenting it in still photos and video). I wanted her to stay just the way she was.

Of course, at the time I was unaware of the joy of “milestones.” Abby’s first smile — gas-induced as it was —tore my heart to shreds and left me a shattered, joyous mess. Her first cooing was a symphony. The last night we swaddled her was the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Suddenly I was looking forward to every new thing; my wife and I pored through my old psychology textbooks to figure out what Erikson, Piaget, and Vygotsky predicted Abby would do next. We watched for her changing attention span, periods of disengagement, her first consonants, and signs that things were staying in her memory for longer than a nanosecond. My little girl became something of a science experiment to me; she was a beaker full of love dressed in a sleeper. (She even releases stinky gasses like the experiments I did in high school!)

But this excitement holds its own pitfalls. I now find myself longing after a toddler, a talking child, my girl playing guitar, her first doodles, first stories, first arm-wrenching figure-four lock, first loves. I am catapulted into the future where I am telling stories at her wedding, where I show her pictures of the early days where I slow-danced her to sleep because nothing else would work.

Then I remember a piece of advice that someone gave me before my own wedding:

“Be present. It’s going to go by so fast that if you don’t try hard to be right there in the moment, it will go right past you.”

And with that I am pulled back to the present, where a four-month-old little girl is sitting in her Bumbo, a goofy grin plastered across her face and a silvery trail of drool running down to her Winnie the Pooh jumper. I wipe her face, pick her up, hold her against me. I remind myself that I can’t keep her from growing up, and I can’t jump forward in time (not until I fix up my DeLorean, anyway), so I should learn to celebrate every day for what it is.

And it is this:

About the Author:

Nicholas Stirling is descended from alcoholic Finns and pig-rearing Scotsmen. He has tried his hand at more than a few things: custom woodworking, bookstore management, and teaching (his current occupation) to name a few of them. He is happily married to his high school sweetheart, and lives in Ontario (that’s a province in Canada). He is currently promoting his first real stab at a readable novel, entitled Emily Rose, and his short story “Pretty Flowers” will be published in an upcoming edition of Morpheus Tales. He has also been a featured contributor on Cracked.com, with his “Elves” topic page picking up over 210,000 reads. He blogs regularly on Exercising Monsters.

Motherhood: The Most Difficult Journey Yet (Part 2)

Motherhood: The Most Difficult Journey Yet (Part 1)

Breastfeeding.

I always knew I wanted to breastfeed. “Babies are born to be breastfed,” La Leche League tells us. Breastmilk is chock-full of nutrients and antibodies that can’t be replicated with formula. It is linked to less health problems for the baby later in life. It helps the mother bond with the baby, ward off post-partum depression, and even assists in post-partum weight loss. It is free. It is natural. Breast is best.

Breastfeeding came naturally and relatively easy to my mother, and since so many of my pregnancy symptoms had mimicked hers — in addition to the fact that I have her body type — I had figured that it would come easily to me too.

I was wrong.

The type of blissful breastfeeding experience I had hoped to achieve with my daughter (image source)

As soon as Claire returned from the nursery after receiving her first bath, the nurse who brought her in asked me if I wanted to try breastfeeding. “Of course,” I happily obliged.

There is no feeling quite like having your new baby suckle at your breast for the first time. I felt warmth and a flashing sense of euphoria for the first time since giving birth. I was doing it! I was breastfeeding!

The first “milk” that the baby receives from the breast is not actually milk. It is colostrum — a thick sticky substance that contains important antibodies and nutrients that will aid the baby to thrive in the fragile first days of life. I had read about colostrum prior to giving birth, but what I didn’t know was how little there would be of it.

Lesson #1: Colostrum is enough for the first few days.

We kept Claire in my room for the first night, and I took her to my breasts whenever she woke up and cried. Each time, she would find my nipple without a problem and latch on, sucking vigorously for a couple of minutes…then stop and turn away and cry.

I would try to guide her to my breast again, sometimes even forcing my nipple into her mouth. And the same thing would happen over and over again: she would suck for a minute or two, then stop and cry.

I tried massaging my breasts and squeezing my nipples to see if anything was actually coming out — and it was! Except…was that really colostrum? The liquid seemed thin and watery…a far cry from the thick, yellowish substance I had read about.

I reminded myself that every woman is different, and so every breastmilk/colostrum must be different too.

Later, I was to learn that colostrum, no matter how little you produce, is enough for most babies. Newborns’ stomachs are so tiny and the nutrients that colostrum provide so vast that even if your baby loses weight in the first few days after birth, he/she will not be in grave danger.

In other words, I should have trusted that my body will provide what the baby needs.

Lesson #2: Be weary of the “second day freak-out.”

I kept trying to breastfeed Claire for the remainder of that first restless night and through the next day.

But by the end of the second day, I became exhausted at my feeble attempts to provide nutrition for my newborn baby and it was clear that Claire was not happy. In-between each “feeding” (if you can even call it that), she would scream her lungs out while waving her head side to side, her mouth agape in search of satisfactory sustenance.

“She is hungry,” my mother observed.

DON’T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT?!! I wanted to shout at her.

It would be a full week later before I was to read on a parenting board of the “second day freak-out,” where a newborn suddenly realizes, “S#&T! I’m really stuck out here! I’m not going back to the warm and comfy womb!” and proceeds to cry, cry, and cry some more. Refusing to nurse properly and being especially restless and unhappy are all common symptoms of the second day freak-out.

As a mother, I needed to be patient (as hard as it may be) and just suck it up, continuing to offer my breast despite the baby’s refusal and/or protests. But I was not aware of the second day freak-out at the time, and I gave in…

Lesson #3: We should not have supplemented with formula.

After enduring what seemed like countless hours of crying (and having my heart broken over and over again…I was actually feeling physical pain over my heart), I buzzed for a nurse and asked what I should do. “Should I…give her some formula?” I asked.

“If she continues to look hungry and unsatisfied, you can go ahead,” the nurse replied.

We snapped open a single-use bottle of Similac Advance and offered it to Claire. She looked bewildered at first, but began sucking away happily. She finished more than an ounce in that one sitting! And after she was done, she burped and looked happy for the first time in over a day.

She fell asleep soon after, and stayed asleep for almost three hours — the longest stretch that she had slept since being born.

When Claire woke up from her nap, I tried breastfeeding her again. I was dismayed to find the same results: sucking for a minute or two, then stop and cry. Her latch was fine and I could not find any other source of a problem aside from the fact that I seemed to have an overly hungry baby who seemed to be a lazy and impatient suckler.

On that second night, both J and I were so tired and exhausted that we decided to keep the baby in the nursery overnight. We knew that she would be fed formula but we didn’t care. I was still gushing blood, my nipples were starting to become sore and painful, I was overly swollen from 12 hours of IV and 5 hours of pitocin, and I could barely stand up by myself, let alone take care of a newborn through another full sleepless night.

The damage had been done.

To be continued…

Read the rest of the series:

Motherhood: The Most Difficult Journey Yet (Part 3)
Motherhood: The Most Difficult Journey Yet (Part 4)
Motherhood: The Most Difficult Journey Yet (Part 5)

Guest Post: Does Facebook Kill High School Reunions? My PoV.

Elyssa has been a loyal reader since my Weddingbee days, and when she showed me her own blog I couldn’t believe how great it was!

I did not attend my own 10-year high school reunion for two reasons: (1) I did not like high school and did not need the reminder; and (2) it cost $88/head for hors d’oeuvres and rail drinks…and the venue was a local pub. Plus, as Elyssa states in this post, all the people I wanted to stay in touch with I already did through Facebook and/or other social media sites.

Having just passed that dreaded 10 year reunion from high school last summer, I feel well equipped at giving you my PoV on this article. CNN brings up a point. And it’s pretty simple. If you are able to connect to those people that you haven’t spoken to since graduation through FB, are you still going to go to your reunion? My answer: No, I will not.

I have a FB account. And I am friends with several people from HS. I will be honest. Some of them are “hidden” from my daily feed. Why? Because I don’t know you anymore, but you still wanted to be my friend and I’ve been told its rude to ignore a friend request (but that doesn’t mean that I don’t).

If I haven’t talked to you in 10 years, and I have you hidden on my feed and/or I am not even a FB friend with you (maybe you asked, maybe you didn’t) why would I trek on back to my reunion and pay close to $100 to hang out with you and have a whole bunch of awkward conversations with people that I haven’t seen in 10 years?

Reunions are for really one thing, and one thing only. Don’t go telling me they’re not. I think Romy and Michelle summed it up nicely:

Romy: Michele? Now that I’m looking at this, our lives don’t seem as impressive as I thought.

Michele: They don’t?

Romy: Well, do you think it’s impressive that we’re still single, and we’ve been living together for ten years, and I’m a cashier and you’re unemployed?

Michele: Not super-impressive.

Romy: Then, what’s the point of going if we’re not going to impress people?

You see, if you really haven’t accomplished anything but going to college, graduating from college, and actually having a job and maybe even a significant other, there is no reason to go. None. Maybe if I had graduated from MIT and became an astronaut I could go and boast about how cool I was…but then you’d be the butt of jokes for the next ten years. Reunions are just inadequacy test for the masses. Who’s pregnant? Who’s going bald? Damn she looks like she lost weight (and not in a good way). Did you hear about Jane getting a divorce? Tsk Tsk. Oh and Billy? He hasn’t had a job now for 5 years and lives in his parents basement.

Yeah. Don’t think those conversations don’t happen. Then you know what you do afterwards? Go out to a bar and get wasted with the 3 people you still do talk to from HS and bitch and complain and gossip about everyone you just spent the last 3 hours with. Totally worth it.

So sorry CNN, I have to say that FB killed the reunion for me because it made me realize that I am still friends with the few I went to HS with for a reason. I’ve weeded out the rest. And that $100 I saved by not going? It’s on my feet. In the way of shoes.

About the Author:

I’m just a girl, living in Seattle. With the boy, J, the dog, Gwen, and the kitty. I love to muse about things that little ole sarcastic me thinks is funny on my blog TwentyFiveFifty. Pretty simple stuff! Thank you Geek in Heels for letting me guest blog. Congratulations to you and your family!

Guest Post: How I Got Out of Debt

Our next guest post comes from Fabulously Broke, one of my favorite lifestyle/personal finance bloggers. I always found her story inspiring and asked her to write a special post on how she managed to clear $60k in debt AND build a respectable net worth. Enjoy!

Background

I am a twenty-something consultant who was $60,000 in student debt after graduating college, and I cleared it in full after 18 months.

Now, approximately 3 years later I have a net worth of ~$110,000.

I started my climb out of debt by blogging at Fabulously Broke in the City which is a lifestyle blog with a hint of money talk, and I’ve just recently started another blog about my other passion: achievable, everyday minimalism and how to simplify and organize your life at The Everyday Minimalist.

Getting out of debt is a mix of opportunity, luck and discipline

I will never say that it was only my brilliance (hah!!) that helped me along my path to independence, because I had a lot of things going for me.

Each person’s situation is different, so please consider that what worked for me, may not work for you, so here are 3 things I think that helped me that I had little to no control over:

1) I fell into my dream career that happened to pay well

I got a good paying job right out of college (which I absolutely love doing), which really helped my debt situation along. I recognize that this is not only a rare thing to find your dream job right out of college, but to also have it pay well, is nothing to sneeze at, because it helped me immensely.

2) My job required that I would be able to travel 100% of the time

When I was on projects, I tried to stay in the client’s city, because my living (hotel expenses) and eating expenses were covered by them, as it was cheaper than paying for me to fly back home every week.

I only did this for about a year in total (not including breaks in between where I had to go ‘home’ when projects ended), and as a result I saved a bundle on living expenses, about $20,000 if I were to estimate. This also helped me find “minimalism,” which isn’t as extreme as the word might imply!

3) I became a freelancer after a short period of industry experience

This was a risk and as far as I know, completely unheard of. It could have very well gone the other way, but I’m lucky it took off instead of tanking.

I want to note that not everyone who makes a high income or had the opportunity to do what I did took advantage of it to save money and/or get out of debt.

I am not saying this because I think I’m special, but it’s something to keep in mind, because it can be easy to feel defeated because you feel like you don’t make enough to get out of debt.

A very big part of debt reduction and wealth building is being disciplined, motivated, and consistent. It is far better to take action and make a plan to save $50/month and get out of debt at a snail’s pace, than to bury your head into the sand like an ostrich and ignore the problem entirely.

It isn’t easy to get rid of debt, especially at lower income levels, but in most cases, it’s not impossible.

So how did I get out of debt and turn it around?

Be Sick of your Debt
Understanding YOUR money
Budgeting, Tracking your Spending and doing something about it!
Changing your lifestyle
Finding non-monetary motivation

1. Be Sick of your Debt

I was disappointed, no, DISGUSTED with my unorganized finances. I couldn’t believe I let myself rack up that much debt, and I knew I could have done better.

Letting bygones be bygones, I used that disappointment to motivate myself to make a change for the better.

Every time I looked at that amount of debt, I would feel even more motivated to watch it go down, and I was scrutinizing every purchase I made, because it had an impact towards my end goal of being debt-free.

2. Understanding YOUR money

Emphasis on the “YOUR!”

After I got over the shock of the final amount of debt I was in, for the next 6 months, I devoured every piece of information about money in sight, from blogs to books to general articles about money and this is what I gleaned as the most important pieces of information:

The Top 5 Things You Should Know About Your Money

No one else has a better interest in your money than you do
$1 of your net income saved is about $2 of your gross income earned
You WILL make mistakes: don’t stay mad or defeated — learn from it
Compounding interest is magical
You need emergency savings (at least 3-6 months)

The #1 money book out of all the ones I read was also the first one I picked up: The Millionaire Next Door by Stanley & Danko.

It really changed the way I saw money and “rich” people. I realized that having lots of money wasn’t for showing off what you bought, but for the security, freedom and peace of mind that it brings.

This may seem like common sense to a lot of you (and sounds stupid now, even in my head), but it never clicked with me as being significant until I read that book and it all fell into place to see how the rich live: quietly and well below their means.

Since then, every other personal finance book I’ve read has been ho-hum in its life-changing ability.

I also had a great group of supporters, namely my fellow bloggers and beloved readers. I joined the ranks by becoming (yet another) blogger, talking about my journey out of debt at Fabulously Broke in the City; just seeing how much progress everyone else was making on their own journey really helped me stay motivated and on track.

3. Budgeting, Tracking your Spending & Doing something about it!

I started trying to keep a budget, which was an outright disaster for about 3 months, because I was trying every budgeting tool I could get my hands on out there (MS Money, Quicken, Pear Budget, etc), and was SO FRUSTRATED that I wanted to give up.

None of the budgets out there let me see what I found important, like whether or not I paid for what I bought the other day on a credit card (which I kept at $0), at what store, what I bought, why — it didn’t have the detailed level of tracking & analysis that I felt I needed, and it didn’t show me anything I found to be very useful.

Then I thought: What the heck you should make your own damn sheet and I ended up creating my own version with colours & pretty graphs to keep me interested.

From then on, it was like I was on fire.

I tracked my expenses daily and actually enjoyed it.

A simple action of typing in what I spent on groceries that day, made me quickly re-assess what I bought that day, because I could see how much money I had left over for groceries for the rest of the month.

Even if I went over in the grocery section, I wouldn’t beat myself up, but it helped me zero in on my trouble spots.

For example, I had gone over the budget in my groceries a number of times, but I thought: Meh, it’s food. I need to eat. Who doesn’t?

It wasn’t until I saw the recurring pattern that I realized it was something I needed to really pay attention to, because I either needed to raise the amount and steal from another budget category, or cut back in my grocery spending.

From then on, whenever I shopped for anything, if I picked up something on impulse each time I went to the store, even for $2, I recognized it was an impulse purchase that needed to stop.

It is money that essentially goes to waste, because it eats up your budget & affects your spending for the rest of the month.

I felt like I became more conscious over time, and I’d pick up something from the grocery store the next time, wonder if I needed it, and either put it in my cart or put it back on the shelf.

Don’t get me wrong: If I really wanted it, I’d buy it, but I’d make sure I had room in my budget to do so.

A treat is fine, but it stops being a treat when it’s a regular purchase.

4. Changing your lifestyle

After doing a little bit of my expense tracking for a while, I stepped back as objectively as I could and I spent time thinking about why I had it on there, if I could do better and what it was really costing me.

So for example, I looked at paying for cable television — $35/month.

I asked myself what channels and shows I liked to watch, and then observed my watching habits over a month or so.

I realized that I was:

Watching re-runs of shows I’d seen many times before
Watching as a way to kill time
Using it to procrastinate

In short, I didn’t really watch “TV.”

I did the calculation for the year ($35 x 12 months = $420), and then realized the $420 a year may not seem like a lot, but if I put in $35 a month for 30 years, at 3% interest it would be…

$20,446.78!!

Mind boggling.

Or it could be $420 more towards my debt each year, which would decrease one of my debts by 70 days (it was costing me around $6/day).

So I cut TV out of my life, and saw my favourite shows when they came out on DVD or online.

I’ve never looked back since (although when I am in a hotel room where I have no choice but to pay for cable TV in the rate, I do watch it on occasion).

I did this for everything I paid for: rent, landline telephone, groceries, transportation, makeup, clothing, entertainment, eating out, Starbucks habits, and so on.

These little changes I made all added up and the effects from my lifestyle changes didn’t happen over night.

Not everything I did was to cut back: I also increased my spending on healthcare, such as going to the dentist more often.

To this day, I am still constantly thinking about my purchases, mistakes I (recently) made and how I can do better in the future. It is a lifelong process with a beginning but no end.

5. Finding non-monetary motivation

I gradually became a minimalist.

I realized that I had been in that hotel for about 3 months, with one large suitcase, and I didn’t miss much, as long as I had a kitchen and a bed. That’s when the wheels started to churn and I saw the potential for a different kind of lifestyle — where I’d have less stuff to buy, take care of, and use.

I had no idea what minimalism was at that time, and I called what I did being a “modern nomad,” because I had no set home address and I was living out of hotels.

It has saved me a bundle of money, and made me re-prioritize what I want to spend more of my money on — namely traveling around the world.

Minimalism isn’t about being extreme: I know many feel that my lifestyle can be really unrealistic for many, but like money management, it can be unique to each person’s situation and lifestyle.

You don’t have to do what I, or anyone else does with our money or our lives.

Just do what you want to do.

And that’s pretty much how I did it

I made a lot of mistakes (and I still make them, but I feel like I’ve grown by leaps and bounds from when I first started.

If you want to get out of debt, you will find the will and the ways to do it, and even when there are setbacks, you get angry and sad about it, but you move on and push on.

It’s intense, but so very worth it, because it’s something that will really stay with you for the rest of your life, even though it was a hard lesson to swallow.

Guest Post: Geeky Halloween Costumes

I’ve never been a huge fan of Halloween (once again, laziness plays a big part in this) but I know that many of my readers cherish this holiday. So when reader Stephanie offered to do a post on geeky Halloween costumes, I enthusiastically agreed and looked forward to the post with anticipation. And as you can see below, Stephanie did not disappoint. Enjoy!

Did you know that Halloween is just around the corner? That’s hardly any time to find a costume, make your favorite creepy treats and — alright, alright — three weeks isn’t just around the corner, but that just means that this is prime-time for costumes. I’m personally a huge fan of a good costume. My last two were Amelia Earhart and Edie Sedgwick.

(That’s me and some of my co-workers and my Shaun of the Dead boyfriend.)

So while I’ve got my own costume underway (it’s a secret!), if you are keen on making your own costume this year, here are a few ideas that should feed your creative appetite. If you are looking for a killer costume and you’re going solo, one of these could fit the bill…

Find the deets on this costume by Sarah McPherson here! That make up could be fun…

Or the methods for this crazy (no, not photoshopped) desaturated santa.

Maybe you’re looking for a group costume? Here’s a stunner:

Handmade! Find out more or try your own sweet LEGO costume.

Inspired? There are a lot of crazy cool costumes out there, and you don’t have to build a lifesized LEGO chef to have a great one. All it takes is a little creativity, dedication and innovation. All of these costumes were well-thought out!

Here’s just one more to blow your mind:

This superb costume by Jonathan Gleich is actually mounted on a Segway. See more here!

Hopefully this post has your thinking cap strapped on tight. Or maybe you already have a costume planned out? Fill me in (and tune in again soon for more costumes and party ideas)!

About the Author:

Stephanie is a third year college student, splitting her time between her laptop and sewing machine (and of course school and work!). When she’s not planning another do-it-yourself project, she catches up on what’s new in the blog-world and regales readers with her latest creations and revelations via Real Fine Place. If you like clever projects, innovation and authenticity, she would love to meet you.

Motherhood: The Most Difficult Journey Yet (Part 1)

I pondered whether I should write this series of posts, and I hesitate still as I type these words. But I figure that I can not be the only mother who has these tumultuous feelings (right?) and that if anything, writing this will be therapeutic and beneficial to this new, confused mother.

As soon as Claire was born and placed on my chest, I wanted to cry. Not because I was so happy to finally meet my daughter. Nor because I was overwhelmed with new mommy feelings of love and attachment. But because I felt like she wasn’t mine.

I had lost a baby prior to having Claire. I had wished and prayed so hard to get pregnant again, and was overjoyed beyond words to see the two lines on the pregnancy test. I had marked each passing day of my pregnancy with anticipation and excitement.

I am so ready to become a mother, I told myself repeatedly. Heck, I already am a mother.

But as I looked down on the little creature that had just made her entrance to this world, I couldn’t help but wonder why I didn’t — why I couldn’t — feel the irrepressible and immediate love described by other mothers. “I loved my baby as soon as I saw him/her,” they had all told me. Why didn’t I feel this way? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME???

Later on, I would look on as J held his daughter for the first time, wiping tears from his eyes. “I can’t believe we made her,” he repeated over and over again. “She’s absolutely perfect.”

I wanted to cry once more. I was so touched at my husband’s reaction to Claire’s birth. (Who wouldn’t?) But at the same time, there was no denying that once again, I was asking myself, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? because I felt so disconnected from my own daughter.

Claire with her daddy moments after birth

To be continued…

Read the rest of the series:

Motherhood: The Most Difficult Journey Yet (Part 2)
Motherhood: The Most Difficult Journey Yet (Part 3)
Motherhood: The Most Difficult Journey Yet (Part 4)
Motherhood: The Most Difficult Journey Yet (Part 5)

Guest Post: Geeky Etsy Finds

I like to compare Etsy to New York’s Century 21: much loved by many, but too overwhelming for myself. As such, I was delighted when Jen offered to do a guest post on geeky Etsy finds, as this is a topic that I would never be able to tackle by myself. Enjoy!

Hi guys, it’s Jen from A Tale of 2 Monkeys. I am excited to contribute to Geek in Heels while Jenny is off enjoying motherhood.

I have been digging around etsy for some great finds for geeks of all shapes and sizes. I had a lot of fun, and I hope you enjoy them.

For those of us who are classically trained, and want something to express this without a bunch of video game screenshots on our walls, I offer the Exploded Nintendo Controller illustration. Minimal, classic, yet fun and geeky at the same time. This shop has several different classic controllers as well if your gaming history varies.

I have to say, the decal market for Mac laptops, iPads, and iPhones has really exploded on etsy of late. A few of my favorites are the Yoshi Macbook Decal and the Don’t Panic iPad decal. Yoshi eating the apple is pretty ingenious, but the iPad is basically the modern realization of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, even though most of the information pertains to Earth. “Don’t Panic,” written in “large, friendly letters” will get you nods and smiles from your fellow Douglas Adams fans.

If skins are more your thing, this Leica Skin for the iPhone 4 makes your new phone look like a classic, and much coveted, Leica camera. It will make people look twice.

Plotting mischief with your Marauder’s Map? Make sure you accessorize with this stylish cuff.

I still prefer to do the majority of my reading in actual books with pages, but I do love to use my eReader while traveling. Dressing it up in this pretty eReader Case would be pretty sweet.

I’m loving the typography and design of this Mac vs PC Poster. I’d go to that fight.

Here are some great Mario-themed bracelets in Until it Ends Studios shop. My favorites are the Invincibility Star Charm Bracelet and the Mario Mushroom Bracelet.

“The fat just walks away”, and gets turned into adorable Adipose Earrings, inspired by the Dr. Who episode. Adipose are so cute, as long as you try not to think too hard about what they are. These are made of clay, however, so you’re safe.

Show your blogging prowess at home with this RSS Icon Pillow. They have other icons too, if the Google logo or the Mac email symbol are more your stye.

For a truly interesting gift, check out the External Hard Drive built into an old Mario Game. This will make your friends look twice, and it’s more unique than the trend of disguising your iPod as a cassette tape.

For awesome upcycling and a chance to really show your age, check out these Floppy Disk Magnets. I will admit that I remember when these were the norm for storage and PC gaming. Wow, feeling old now…

Speaking of magnets, check out this Harry Potter Magnetic Poetry. It includes character names, spells, and everything you need to put together your own Potter-themed poetry on your fridge.

These 8-bit Mario Cufflinks come in several different designs, for the fashionably geeky guy. I like the piranha plants.

I like to think the tentacles on this Sucker Tie belong to a Cthulu, rather than a standard octopus. Whichever you like, the tie design is beautiful.

And, last but not least, my favorite of the Keep Calm poster spoofs, the Keep Calm and Find the Doctor print, complete with Tardis.

About the Author:

Jen is from Phoenix, AZ, where she lives with her husband and 2 cats. She loves reading, television, photography, design, Americana, and general geekery. You can find her blog at ataleof2monkeys.com and her photography shop at jelitan.etsy.com.

Guest Post: Friendship vs Marriage and Babies

Our first guest post comes courtesy of devoted reader JessicaMayLords. She has decided to tackle a topic I have covered a few times here at Geek in Heels — maintaining friendships after marriage/babies — and gives some great advice for people on either sides of the fence. Enjoy!

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that you are slightly cracked”

Bernard Meltzer

I am not a big fan of change. It makes me anxious. Unfortunately, it’s also something that I deal with quite a bit, because I move around a lot. In the past four years, I’ve lived in 3 difference states, 5 different towns, and 7 different apartments. I’ve packed, repacked, and unpacked many, many times. In another month I’ll be at it again; we’re moving to a bigger apartment in town. I’m not anxious about this upcoming move; you see, the moving itself isn’t what really bothers me. I get anxious about changing friendships.

Adult friendships are tricky. When I was a kid, I never thought, “Do we really have enough things in common to go out for coffee, just the two of us?” I found a kid about my age, said hi, and voilà — instant friendship. It’s not like that as an adult, not for me, at least. It’s not easy for me to find a friend I can completely confide in, a person with whom I can be myself. It takes time and energy and, usually, a LOT of tea. When I find a close friend, it’s very difficult for me to leave them when I move, knowing that our relationship has the capacity to be strong despite distance, but will not be exactly the same.

When you move, you expect friendships to change in some ways. It happens. You can’t drop by unannounced, and you can’t grab a bite to eat on your lunch break.

I did NOT expect my friendships to change when I got married.

You know in high school, you had those friends who sort of disappeared once they got a boyfriend? I was one of them. I wanted to spend time sucking face, but I ended up sucking as a friend. I spent so much time going on dates, talking on the phone, and making out that I made less and less time for my friends. Thankfully, most of them were doing the same thing, so they didn’t notice.

In college, I decided this would change. I would still date, but I would make time for my girlfriends. This worked, most of the time. In fact, I met my husband through one of my close friends. There was a big group of us that hung out a few times a week. I loved that I could hang out with my would-be husband and my other friends at the same time. It was great! Everybody was friends with everybody!! It was like How I Met Your Mother, just with more people!

And then we got engaged. Suddenly, my friends were worried about being a third/fifth/seventh wheel. I started hearing comments like, “Well, when you’re married, we won’t see you as much…” and, “Well you married folks will be doing married people stuff…” It sucked!

After we got married we moved from Chicago to Northern California. We started a new church that was mainly composed of 20- and 30-somethings (Yay! Optimum friend age!). I joined a women’s Life Group (like a Bible study, but less structured) and decided to put my “Make Friends Now” plan into action. There were about 10 women in the group, half married, half single. It seemed like a good ratio to me. Yet even there, I was seen as a “married type” who spent every possible waking moment with my husband. We’d talk about what happened that week, and if I mentioned my hubs, I’d see some of the single girls rolling their eyes (seriously!!) or whispering comments. It was all done with an air of good ribbing, but it still bummed me out.

I found myself wanting to say, “Hey! I’m fun!! I can still have dance parties and drink margaritas and go out to dinner with the girls! Seriously!!” I hate this new title: the Old Married Lady. I was wild! I was crazy! I was fun! Couldn’t they see that?

I haven’t really experienced being the single gal in a group half-full of married women. I married young; at 22, I was the first of my friends to tie the knot. I didn’t understand that when they heard “married,” they thought “curfew” and “date nights.” I didn’t understand that they wanted to go out dancing and didn’t want me to feel weird, since they’d be checking out the guys and hoping to get free drinks. I just didn’t get it.

Finally, I realized that marriage could either complement my friendships, or compete with them. That said, here are some friendship rules I made for myself that may help you too.

When dealing with single friends as a married lady:

Refer to your spouse by his name, not his pet name (no one cares if you call him Mr. Bunny, or Bun-buns for short)

If your friend is in a romantic relationship, don’t assume that just because you are married, you’re qualified to dispense relationship advice. If she asks, go ahead.

Texting your hubs once to check-in is fine. You can even call him if your gal pal runs off to the bathroom, or makes a call herself. Other than that, this night is about girl time, so don’t be that friend attached to her cell, texting her hubs all night. You’re married. You love each other. We get it.

If you two planned on staying out until midnight, stay out to midnight. Don’t be lame and say something like, “Well I haven’t seen Mr. Bunny allllll day and I totally need some snuggles before bed or I’ll be super sad!!” (Also not okay, “Well, I’m ovulating, and we’re trying to conceive, so I’m going to have to cut this short and go home to Mr. Sexy Pants while my mucus is still egg-white consistency.”)

I assume no one says either of the above, but if that sounds like something you MIGHT say, DON’T. EVER. SERIOUSLY. NEVER.

Do NOT do the following:

Ask your friend when she and so-and-so are going to settle down

Talk about how marriage is just the BEST, seriously, just the BEST!

Ask her what her favorite baby names are, then launch into a long story about you and your hub’s fav names, preferred birth order, etc.

When dealing with married friends as a married lady:

Don’t try to force your hubs to be BFF with your gal pal’s hubs. If they get along and want to hang out, cool. If not, leave it.

If your gal pal’s hubs and yours hubs are friends, awesome. Hang out as a group if you want, but make sure you have time for just the girls too. Some stuff is just hard to talk about in front of dudes.

If your gal pal’s hubs and your hubs DO NOT GET ALONG, PERIOD, then do not force it. Don’t ask them out to dinner. Don’t have them over for game night. Be thankful you have a gal pal and go on from there.

Okay. So we covered the marriage thing. Noooow comes BABIES. Babies are super cute (unless you’re not into them). I love babies, but they can TOTALLY change friendships. I don’t have any kiddos, and I’m planning on keeping it that way for at least the next year or so. Babies complicate things, but once again, they can complement a friendship; they don’t have to compete with it. Since I don’t have a kid, here’s my best take on the situation from a DINK standpoint.

Your friend is having a baby, and you don’t have kids:

Be happy for your friend!! This is going to totally change her life in crazy ways, and there’s a good chance she’ll need your friendship more than ever as she adjusts.

Don’t like kids? Fake it. You don’t have to hold the kid. Just don’t wince when you see him/her.

Don’t ignore your friend once the baby has been born. She’ll probably want a few weeks to rest, but make sure to keep in touch with her. If a bunch of your friends are going out for coffee or drinks, invite her! Even if she can’t go, she’ll appreciate the effort.

Drop by the house and visit. Maybe bring her a peppermint hot cocoa. Sit. Relax. Talk. If the baby cries, that’s okay. Take time to get to know her in her role as a mom. She’s still your friend.

You’ve had a baby and your friends don’t have kids:

Try not to talk about the following: poop, urine, vomit, your placenta, your episiotomy. If your friend is curious, she’’l ask. Feel free to talk about the birth, but don’t freak your friend out. Once again, if she’s curious, she’ll ask (I did!).

If your friend doesn’t want to hold your baby, don’t take it personally.

You’re a mom, but you don’t have to address yourself as “Mama” or “Mommy” all the time. You’re a whole lot of other things too, including a friend.

Being a mother doesn’t mean that you’re better than your friends. Don’t be that person. There are too many already. “You’ll understand…” (knowing look) “when you’re a mom.”

Marriage and babies can complement your already established friendships, they don’t have to compete with them. Do you have rules that should go on these lists??

About the Author:

JessicaMayLords writes about anything and everything over at Like the Dawn…. She lives in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and loves Battlestar Galactica and Pride and Prejudice equally. In her free time, she crochets, hikes, drinks copious amounts of tea, and watches more television than she likes to admit.

A large majority of the people who find her blog through Google were searching for Jessica Lords, porn star.

She is not that Jessica Lords.

Introducing Claire Emmanuelle

Claire Emmanuelle was born September 30, 2010 at 9:35pm, weighing 6 lbs 7 oz and measuring 19″ long.

I had a very easy delivery for a first-time mom; she was out after only 12 pushes (about five minutes)! However, recovery and adjusting to life as a mother are a lot more difficult than I imagined and I have found myself neglecting this blog.

Guest posts will begin to go up shortly, and I promise to write my labor story when I find the time and energy. In the meantime, I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone for your prayers, good wishes, and lovely messages.