Geek in Heels - Page 155

Apr 26, 2010 • In Comang, Personal, Pregnancy

Do I Look Like a Mom Yet?

Sometimes, when Comang is lying on his back, I like to grab him and hold him in my arms like he’s a baby.

When Comang is tired he lets us do whatever we want to him, so he can lie in this position quite comfortably for a while. Just before J snapped this photo, he was snoring away in my arms!

People often ask me if I’m scared to have a baby; after all, I still act like a kid myself. My looks seem to betray me too, as I’m consistently mistaken for being about 5 years younger (and I can see how when I am sans makeup, hair messy and just chillaxin’ at home like in the photo above).

The truth is, I’m not scared at all. I’m not even scared of labor (but ask me again in 4 months!). I have had plenty of experience taking care of my younger cousins while growing up, and just recently I was a part-time nanny to an infant.

I know it is different helping take care of someone else’s baby vs actually having the full responsibility of your own child in your hands. However, I feel like I’ve seen enough to be pretty prepared. Crying for hours on end. Diarrhea. Projectile vomiting. Peeing on furniture. Temper tantrums. Sleep-training. The list goes on and on.

I’m not scared. I’m looking forward to it, as a matter of fact. Even the bad.

17 Weeks

I spent last week at my parents’ house where my mother proceeded to spoil me rotten with homecooked Korean food and whatever else I was craving.

“Don’t ever ignore your cravings or your baby will come out with crooked eyes!” she repeatedly told me. (Now that’s one old wives’ tale I can get behind!)

I was sure that I would return at least 5 lbs heavier, but I was dumbfounded to find that I had lost a few pounds. Huh. Take a look at last week’s and today’s belly shots side-by-side:

As you can see I certainly don’t look any thinner; if anything, I look bigger!

Nonetheless, I’m happy to report that what I had been predicting seems to be coming true: I’m just one of the few women who gain a lot in the beginning and plateau.

People have been telling me that I already seem to be carrying a bit high. I call bullshit on this because I know the real reason my belly is already bloated on top — it’s because of my small stature. As the baby grows and my uterus expands, it pushes the rest of my organs up. And because I’m so short to begin with, my organs have already been pushed pretty far up in relation to the rest of my body.

I know that being short already has given me some disadvantages with pregnancy. For example, it’s getting harder to do the dishes because my arms are so short. My short stumpy arms will also force me to stop driving in the third trimester, because I already drive so close to the steering wheel (and there isn’t much room left). Lastly, I need to be extra-careful in the later months because short women are more prone to falling when they are heavily pregnant.

But I don’t care. I’m just happy to be carrying a healthy child.

On to the update!

Dear Baby,

You are now about the size of a large onion or a turnip, and since you’ve consistently been measuring a bit large, I’m going to go ahead and guess that you’re about 5.5-6″ long (with legs it’s probably closer to 10″!) and weigh about 6-7 ounces.

Your skeleton is transforming from cartilage to bone, and you are finally starting to accumulate fat to keep yourself warm and healthy. Your daddy wants a big fat baby with Michelin Man-like arms and legs, so I have to keep reminding him that developing a overweight child in the womb can’t be good for you or for me.

Your ears are not yet structurally complete or fully functional, but they’re getting there — because you’re already starting to react to outside noises and sounds! Can you hear me now baby?

In just two days your father and I hope to find out your gender. We can’t be more excited for this event! Even your father has begun to admit that he doesn’t care what the sex is; he is just excited for you to be here and be healthy.

The biggest development for your mother has to be the allergy-like symptoms that are constantly plaguing me. I know that the increased blood flow is good for you but it’s given me a constantly stuffy/runny nose and rheumy eyes. The increase in snot also creates repeated sneezing which makes your father paranoid that I’m catching a cold. I have never had allergies before but I can now sympathize.

I am now also regularly feeling twinges in my lower abdomen. I’m still not 100% sure, but I think it’s you, baby! I think I’m feeling you swimming around inside of me until you get bigger and stronger and start to really punch and kick.

Please continue to stay healthy in there and I can’t wait to see you on Wednesday!

Is This Discrimination?

Earlier this week I was helping out at my mother’s dry cleaning store when a woman threw a hissy fit at me.

She had brought in some slacks and a women’s shirt. As I entered these items into the computer, she held up the shirt and said, “I would like this to be charged the same as a men’s shirt.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This is clearly a women’s shirt…”

“I know, but you always charge more for ladies’ shirts and that’s not fair.”

“The reason we do this is due to the pressing methods. Men’s shirts can be fully pressed in a matter of minutes because most of them are cut the same way and so they fit on the same pressing machine. We don’t have pressing machines for women’s shirts because each are cut so differently — all women’s shirts need to be hand-ironed which takes a considerably longer time.”

A typical shirt pressing machine.

“Well why don’t you buy pressing machines for women’s shirts?”

“As far as I know, no such thing exists.” (This is true — I peruse the myriad of dry cleaning catalogs and magazines my parents receive whenever I’m bored at the store.) “Even if they did, it just wouldn’t make sense economically to buy shirt-pressing machines in various sizes because each one costs thousands of dollars…not to mention the space they would take up.”

By this point, the woman was visibly upset.

“You know, not all men’s shirts are cut the same way!”

“We are fully aware of that fact. That’s why we charge more for men’s shirts that are cut drastically different from other men’s shirts, or for extra small or extra large items that will not fit on the pressing machine.”

“That’s just discrimination! You are discriminating against women, not to mention men with smaller or bigger frames!”

“I’m sorry…that’s just the way we do business. If you are not satisfied…”

“I’m fully prepared to write to my Congressman and demand a law to end price discrimination of this sort!”

I was starting to get pretty annoyed at this woman. “Why don’t you go ahead and do that.”

“And I’ll take my business elsewhere!” She then hurried out in a huff.

* * *

The prices that my parents charge at the dry cleaner aren’t out of the ordinary. It is a well-known fact that many times, women’s clothes cost more to dry clean than men’s.

For a price reference, my parents charge $1.75 for a men’s shirt and $5.25 for a women’s shirt. Seeing as how a women’s shirt usually takes 5 times longer to press, I don’t think the price is unreasonable.

As I relayed the story to my parents, they informed me that this isn’t the first time this has happened. They have gotten more than a few complaints about the price discrepancy between women’s and men’s items over the years…however, they feel that it is only fair to charge more for items that take longer to clean and press, and this is how the majority of dry cleaners price their services.

What do you think? Is this discrimination?

I then began to wonder how we would be able to appease this woman, as well as the others who may feel that this is gender discrimination. The only possible solution I can think of is to charge the same for both men and women’s clothes, but raise prices across the board. However, I can’t imagine that all of our customers would be happy with the idea…

Can you think of another possible solution to the problem?

Remembering Tater Tot

Today was to be the due date of our lost baby.

I will never forget you and will always hold you close to my heart. I look forward to the day when I can meet you in heaven, when I can finally hold you in my arms and tell you face to face that I love you.

Dear Lord,

I would have loved to hold my baby in my lap and tell her all about you…but since I didn’t get a chance, would you please hold her in your lap and tell her about me?

TEMPTU AIRbrush Foundation Review

Have I mentioned that I’ve been very self-conscious about my looks these past few months?

Only about a dozen or so times!

Along with the almost-20 lbs I’ve stacked on, pregnancy has also changed my body chemistry so much to a point where my old tried-and-true beauty products just have not been cutting it.

My regular facewash has become too drying. My moisturizer seems too light. I have even (embarrassingly) developed a case of bacne.

The problems above didn’t bother me too much. I am supposed to be on the hunt for a new facewash anyway because the line has been discontinued. I can always try another moisturizer from Clarins (my go-to skincare company) once my current bottle of lotion runs out. I have been diligently using Neutrogena body wash and taking care to keep my shoulders and upper back blemish-free.

Then the unthinkable happened.

My HG (that’s “holy grail” in makeup junkie talk) foundation stopped working for me.

The same one that I had been using for two straight years without a problem.

It sat on top of my skin instead of being absorbed. It slid around throughout the day. It also broke me out. Badly.

I pleaded with it. I tried using less, then more to see if that helped. I tried various acne products. Nada. Zip. Zilch.

So I set out to Sephora one dreary morning to find a replacement foundation.

I think I spent about an hour and a half just trying out various foundations. I was almost set on purchasing the popular DiorSkin Forever…then my eyes landed on the TEMPTU display case.

I had been intrigued by TEMPTU ever since Sephora announced that it will begin carrying the line earlier this year. I was tempted to try it, but brushed off the idea because I already had a foundation that I loved.

But this time, I had a good excuse.

Plus, I had gotten a taste of airbrush foundation at my wedding and loved that it lasts all day.

I flagged down a salesperson who gave me a rundown of the system. She explained how to set up the airbrush foundation machine, and demonstrated the application process.

I loved it.

The only thing that put me off was the price — at $225 for the machine and $55 for two AIR pod™ Foundation cartridges, it certainly isn’t cheap.

However, J knew how down I had been feeling about my looks so he encouraged me to buy it. He offered it as an early anniversary present.

So I purchased the TEMPTU AIRbrush Makeup System, the AIR pod™ Foundation in Natural (I later ended up exchanging it for Sand which was a much better shade for me), and the AIR pod™ Blush in Soft Peach.

I have been using the Temptu Airbrush Makeup for almost a month now. I purposely waited this long to write this review because I wanted to make sure that the sparkling new feeling had worn off.

The verdict: It is SO worth it!

I love that the airbrush system allows me buildable coverage via two ways: (1) the dial setting on the machine itself; and (2) how long you apply.

Both the foundation and blush leave a silky, dewy finish. You can also choose to purchase the AIR pod™ Highlighter, but I opted out because I usually have very oily skin by the end of the day.

The makeup literally lasts all day. It has the best lasting power of any foundation I’ve ever used (and believe me — this product junkie has tried many over the years), even as I go on my sweaty 1½-hour walks with Comang. Does my skin look greasy by the end of the day? A bit, yes. But I just blot with a piece of tissue and then I’m good as new again!

And just because I love my readers so much, here are some “before” and “after” photos I took this morning:


Click on the pictures to see larger versions.

(Please excuse the messy background and the poor quality of the pictures. I am currently staying at my parents’ and took the pictures in my sister’s room — which has the best lighting — with one arm extended. I also did not have my DSLR on me.)

I admit that I applied the foundation with a heavier hand today because I was afraid that the difference wouldn’t be noticeable in pictures…but as you can see I was wrong! Usually I prefer a lighter coverage.

The best part? No more breakouts! The pimples that had surfaced from my old foundation are gone, and I have not gotten any bad reactions from the TEMPTU makeup at all. I also love that the airbrush system is so much more sanitary than using your fingers, a brush, or a sponge to apply makeup.

The only “con” I can list about the system is that the machine seems a bit cheaply-made in person. However, it seems durable enough, as I’ve already traveled with the system a few times with no problems.

I highly recommend to all my readers that you stop by your nearest Sephora and try out the TEMPTU AIRbrush system for yourself! And if you have any questions about TEMPTU, leave a comment and I’ll try my best to answer them!

My Calendar is Marked for Next Wednesday

J and I are not patient people. So when we learned yesterday that we would need to wait 4 more weeks — as opposed to the 2 as we had originally believed — to find out the gender of our baby, we both looked like this:

(I know, I know. I can imagine all the parents out there thinking, “If they can’t wait a measly 2 weeks for this milestone in their child’s life, they have another thing coming when the child is born.”)

So although I had already brought up the idea of a 3D/4D ultrasound to J which he vetoed as a “waste of money for something that looks a bit freaky,” I suggested it once more so that we can find out the sex as early as next week —

— and he agreed!

I immediately set about finding a reputable location nearby and found one in Brooklyn. The best part is that with Mother’s Day coming up, they’re having special promotions and discounts.

Ladies and gents, we will find out the sex of the baby next Wednesday night!

So won’t you please take the poll below and guess what the gender is…?

J is still passionately hoping for a boy. He says that if it’s a girl, he will keep her locked in a cage until she’s 18 and so wants to find out the sex ASAP so that he can start preparing for it (just in case it is a girl).

J’s (very traditional Chinese) parents are crossing their fingers for a boy too, and this was already obvious in the predominantly-blue baby clothes they brought us from Hong Kong.

My mother thinks it’s a girl, but is also hoping for a boy so that things will be “easier” for me with the in-laws. (She too, holds very traditional Asian values.) My father is the complete opposite; he thinks it’s a boy but wants a granddaughter. He says that spending all these years with 3 women — my mother, my sister, and me — has helped him be a better man and a more sensitive person. (Aww!)

As for me? In the first trimester I had strong feelings that it is a boy…but these feelings have subsided in the past few weeks. Right now I really don’t know! And I honestly don’t care. I just want a happy and healthy baby.

Nonetheless I’m still super duper excited to find out the baby’s sex!

16 Weeks

Early this morning I went in to have my blood drawn for my AFP. I had been told at my last appointment that today would be just the blood draw, and that I will come in two weeks later for a regular check-up.

Well, imagine my surprise when the visit turned into a full check-up!

I was able to meet the third and final doctor at my OB practice today, and he was warm and friendly as expected. However, when I asked him if we would be able to tell the sex of the baby today, he didn’t even bother and said, “It’s still too early,” when I know full well that external sex organs have been distinguishable for at least a week. I know that not every baby cooperates with the gender reveal, but he could’ve at least tried, you know?

The good news is that the baby is still thriving inside my tummy. The doctor said everything looks absolutely perfect, and I was able to see the baby’s spinal cord for the first time today!

Here is a close-up headshot that the doc printed for me to take home:

As soon as I saw it I started cracking up, because the baby looks so alien-like. Take me to your leader, baby! Here’s the same picture flipped horizontally and zoomed:

The bad news is that since I had the full check-up today, my May 3 appointment has been pushed back to May 17. J and I had been anticipating the May 3 appointment in hopes of finding out the gender, but now it looks like we’ll need to wait for the 19-week anatomy scan on May 13.

Obviously we were bummed to get this news as we are both impatient people who like to find things out ASAP. We’re considering getting a 3D/4D ultrasound before May 13 to find out the gender (and to see what the baby looks like in full 3D/4D detail) but we haven’t decided yet. Do you think we should go for it, or just wait until the 13th?

On to this week’s updates!

Baby, you are now almost 5″ long crown-to-rump, or about the size of an avocado (mmm looking at this picture makes me long for your father’s famous guacamole!). The smallest bones in your body — the three in your ear canal — have developed and you are officially able to hear!

Over the next few weeks you are in for another big growth spurt that will double your weight and add inches to your length. Your arms and legs are almost at the same proportions as they will be at birth, and your little feet are developing itty bitty toenails.

Although you still look like an alien, the first thing I noticed when I saw you facing me today was that your eyes seem much closer together than at our 12-week NT scan. According to BabyCenter, your eyes and ears are now close to their final positions and you will only continue to look more and more human.

As for your mother? There isn’t much new to report. I am still enjoying the “honeymoon trimester” and looking forward to our babymoon with great anticipation. Two days ago, I felt you move for the first time but I haven’t felt anything since. Baby, won’t you move for me again? Pretty please?

I have also realized that I have not taken any belly shots so far. The travesty! I think one of the big reasons has to do with my immense weight gain during the first trimester — I still shy away from the camera as it is a constant reminder of the fatty that I’ve become.

Here is a shot I took pre-pregnancy (showing off my new steam perm):

And here I am, today…

(Please excuse the dirty mirror! I promise to wipe it clean before next week’s belly shot!)

As you can see I’ve become quite the fatty. A couple of weeks ago I saw my mother’s friend whose first words to me were, “Uhmuhnah [the Korean equivalent of OMG] you gained sooo much weight!” She then proceeded to give me a lecture about how I really need to watch what I’m eating or the baby will grow too big in my belly and I will have a hard time with labor. Sigh.

Whatevs. I’m just happy that the baby is doing okay in there.

2 Years

Two years ago today, J and I said “I do” in front of 236 of our closest friends and family.

In those two years, we have never taken a vacation together (with the exception of our honeymoon). I stopped working full-time. J got laid off and remained unemployed for three, financially tumultuous months. We lost a family member. We gained a new one in our dog Comang. We conceived, and lost a baby. We conceived another baby after four months of trying, and I am now 16 weeks pregnant with who will hopefully become our first live child.

Having been together for so long before marriage, I don’t think J and I ever had a “honeymoon period.” In fact, our marriage started off a bit rocky and unstable. I even experienced a minor stroke from the stress of my new life.

Our pastor, who headed our pre-marital counseling sessions, once told us that he doesn’t believe in a honeymoon period. He asked, “What does that say about your marriage if the first months/year of your marriage were the best years?” And I wholeheartedly agree.

These two years have certainly not been the easiest.

Do I have regrets? I most certainly do. But I thank God for these trials, and for allowing me to make these mistakes, because I can now confidently say that J and I have never been happier, or closer to each other.

Happy two years. I love you more than words can say. And I’ll try my best to make each anniversary better than the last.

Fluttering Butterflies

Today, I felt my baby move for the very first time.

I was sitting in a beautiful church at the wedding of J’s cousin (congrats, Suzanne & Lou!). They were in the midst of reciting their wedding vows when I felt it —

Butterflies fluttering in my lower abdomen.

The moment lasted barely a second, but I knew exactly what it was.

“I just felt the baby move!” I whispered to J. He immediately put his hand on my stomach, and I had to inform him that it’s still way too early for movements to be felt externally.

Unfortunately, I haven’t felt the baby move since. But I know that the day can’t be far off when I’ll feel it move every day.

I love being a mother. Have I mentioned that lately?

Aiming for Pentalingual

I read a fascinating article titled Science Question from a Toddler: Life Before Birth last week. I highly recommend the full article for any new/expectant mothers; heck, it’s a good read in general even if you’re not into this stuff!

The reason I bring up this article is due to a particular passage:

Newborns prefer their mother’s voice over anyone else’s (even dad’s). They prefer hearing phrases from books they were read while in the womb, compared to new stories. They’re even already favoring one language over another.

“Babies prefer the sound of their mother’s native language to others,” Moon said. “Interestingly, they can distinguish between languages in the same rhythmic class, like Spanish versus English. But they can’t tell the difference between similar sounding languages, like English and Dutch.”

I already know that my little one can hear me from inside the womb, but I never knew how much of an impact outside noises are already having on my baby! And the part about being able to distinguish between languages? Incredible!

I immediately forwarded the article to J, who emailed back, “Dammit, I’m going to start talking to your tummy in Chinese now!”

…and I must confess that ever since reading this piece, I have been finding myself talking more often in Korean.

While I am not 100% fluent in Korean, I am still able to talk, read, and write (and type!) comfortably. So in this sense, I consider myself bilingual.

J, meanwhile, is quadlingual — English, Cantonese, Mandarin, and Japanese. (I know some may consider Cantonese and Mandarin to be one language as they are different dialects of the Chinese language, but trust me when I say they’re as different as night and day!)

Many people have asked us over the years what language(s) we will be teaching our children. And our response to them? All of them! Well, at least the ones that we know.

That means that our children will be pentalingual.

I can already picture them resenting us.

We know our baby will be no Einstein, but we can certainly try.

I once read that the Chinese language requires the use of both hemispheres of the brain, while most other languages require only the left. The reason for this is the Chinese use of tones (for example, the Chinese word ma can mean either “mother” or “horse” depending on the tone).

As a result, people whose native language is Chinese — or any other language that requires the use of tones — have less difficulty learning other languages. On the other hand, someone whose native language is not tonal-based will have great difficulty learning languages such as Chinese because they are quite literally forcing their brains to re-wire their language processing centers.

Or, in cases like me, some people just have difficulty learning new languages PERIOD. (I took two semesters of Mandarin in college and I only remember a handful of words.)

After reading this study some years ago, I knew that if I married J I would like to teach my kids Chinese first so that they would have less difficulty learning other languages.

However, J is at work all day while I will be a SAHM (stay at home mom).

Maybe I can (attempt to) learn Chinese alongside my kids? Or is that an impossible task?

Should I just start them on Korean instead?

Do I Look Like a Mom Yet?

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17 Weeks

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Is This Discrimination?

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Remembering Tater Tot

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TEMPTU AIRbrush Foundation Review

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2 Years

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