Geek in Heels - Page 156

Apr 15, 2010 • In Personal, Pregnancy

Crunchy vs. Silky

I have found that pregnancy and mothering boards can be some of the most heated on the web.

Everyone has different parenting styles, and they all seem to think that their way is the best. They fight tooth and nail to prove their point, and soon the debates become nothing short of nasty catfights.

There are, of course, topics that repeated garner much dissension among new/expectant mothers and we are labeled as one of two categories depending on what we choose:

Crunchy	Silky
– gives birth at home	– gives birth at hospital
– plans for a natural birth (no meds)	– is pro-medication (epidural, labor-inducing drugs, etc.)
– prefers midwives	– prefers doctors
– eats placenta	– is grossed out by the idea of eating placenta
– breastfeeds (often for prolonged periods of time)	– formula-feeds
– is against circumcision	– is pro-circumcision
– does not vaccinate	– vaccinates
– co-sleeps (and later, family bedding)	– crib-sleeps
– uses cloth diapers & wipes	– uses disposable diapers & wipes
– believes that children can’t be over-nurtured or over-coddled	– uses the CIO (cry it out) method, is pro-spanking
– homeschools (or sends children to selective private schools)	– sends children to public schools
– additional lifestyle choices include recycling and eating/using organic food and products

Obviously it is only in rare cases that a woman falls perfectly under one category; it is far more common to be somewhere in the middle, or to only lean to one side.

Based on the chart above, would you consider yourself to be Crunchy or Silky?

I have found myself to be more on the Silky side:

I plan on giving birth in a hospital with an epidural. I will try my best not to get a c-section, but I will not consider myself a failure if I do.
I fully trust in modern medicine. I like my OB practice and hospital, and have faith that they will do what is best for my baby. The idea of giving birth at home freaks me out — not because I don’t believe birth is a natural process and that my body will know what to do (I do believe those things), but because I constantly worry about the “what if”s of every situation and like to be over-prepared.
I plan on breastfeeding for as long as I can for the first year. But if it doesn’t work out, I won’t beat myself over it and will have no problem using formula.
If our baby is a boy, I want to circumcise but J is against it. And since he is the one with a penis, I will go along with him on this one.
We will definitely vaccinate, but perhaps on a slightly delayed schedule (just so the baby won’t get a million shots at once).
I will not baby-wear and do my best to raise my kids to be as independent as possible. I believe in the CIO method and do not believe in over-coddling or over-protecting children (except for the first three months, when you can’t “spoil” a baby). I will co-sleep for perhaps the first couple of months, but will make the baby sleep in the nursery, in the crib, as soon as possible.
J and I try to recycle as much as we can, but we don’t actively go out of our way or inconvenience ourselves over it. We plan on using disposable diapers and disposable wipes and have no guilt about that.
The same goes for organic food and organic products. We are fully aware of the benefits of organics and prefer them, but many times they are too expensive compared to regular products and too inconvenient as there aren’t too many organic/locally-grown stores in our area.

All this being said…

My personal belief is that parenting involves very personal choices (and many times, no one but the parent knows the full story) and so I do not feel it is my right to judge, or even try to sway anyone my way unless they ask for my opinion.

The Obligatory TMI Post

Note: Due to reader requests (and some confusion on both me and my readers’ sides), I have decided to combine all posts from baby.geekinheels.com to my main blog here at geekinheels.com. I apologize in advance to anyone who feels put off by the plethora of pregnancy posts, and for any inconvenience this may cause anyone. Thank you for reading!

* * * * *

If I could summarize my pregnancy thus far, it would be:

1st Trimester: Fatigue, exhaustion, and lethargy. Very minor nausea. Major weight gain and bloating.

2nd Trimester: More energy. No nausea at all. Weight gain has tapered (I haven’t gained any weight in over 6 weeks!). Embarrassing body changes.

So what are these body changes? Glad you asked. (And prepared to be grossed out!)

National Geographic breasts.

I’ve already written of my porn star boobs. Well, today I noticed something else: my areolae are at least 1/3 larger, and have darkened considerably.

…And from what I hear, they will grow more grotesque as the pregnancy progresses.

I have always disliked my full breasts because I stuck out like a sore thumb among my friends with perky A-cups. Now, I’ve grown to hate them. None of my shirts fit anymore unless they are made of stretchy fabric. Shopping has become a nightmare because if I find something that fits my chest, it is loose everywhere else.

The worst part is that my breasts seem to be everywhere. They are constantly in the way and I’m always knocking things over with them. I am not kidding when I say I feel like this:

Most women look forward to the breast enlargement that pregnancy provides (I have many friends who have gone from A-cups to C, even D-cups). I had been dreading this ever since middle school Health class, and it seems like my fears were fully warranted.

Hemorrhoids.

I have never had hemorrhoids before. So when my ass started itching like crazy a couple of weeks ago, I thought I had gotten an infection.

I managed to get out a hand mirror to check out my nether regions… (I haven’t done this since I entered puberty and became curious as to what my hoo-ha looked like.)

…and discovered two bumps along my a-hole.

Pregnancy had given me the worst constipation of my life. And apparently, it invited its cousin, hemorrhoids, along for the ride.

My first instinct was to hide myself in shame. I even kept my condition a secret from J for a few days, using cold paper towels to calm my itchy ass.

But I couldn’t stand it anymore. I caved, and bought these:

Tucks Medicated Pads are a godsend for hemorrhoids. I didn’t even bother with Preparation-H or any other cream stuff, because the pregnancy boards all raved about these.

Luckily the hemorrhoids went away after about a week. I thought I was in the clear, but nooooo. My body had even more fun stuff in store.

Yeast infection.

So by now you’re probably thinking that I’m a nasty girl who barely cleans her cooch.

This can’t be further from the truth, because I have been diligent about keeping my girl parts clean ever since I found out I was pregnant. I had read all about how my immune system would go down, and how I would be more susceptible to infections and problems “down there” as a result of the pregnancy, so I always made sure to keep my vajayjay and its surrounding area sparkling clean.

But mid-last week, as my hemorrhoids were finally retreating, I started itching again…except this was further up.

Again, I had never had a yeast infection before, so I had no idea what this could be.

After a couple of days of scratching myself like a bored baseball player scratching his balls through an entire inning, I went to the store and bought myself a tube of Vagisil.

A funny story about my Vagisil purchase. I had the wondrous luck of approaching the Walgreens counter just as the cashier ran out of dollar bills. So I stood there with my box of Vagisil out on display for all to see as the cashier called for a manager. Then the manager took his sweet time to come to the register, surveyed my purchases, gave the cashier the correct change, and helped her ring my purchase again as the last one had gotten canceled. All while the line behind me continued to grow longer and everyone kept sneaking up to see what was taking so long. I. Was. Mortified.

Back to the story. So although Vagisil helped a lot, I realized that I was only treating the symptoms and not the source.

I quickly discovered that what I had was a common yeast infection (eww), and that Monistat 7 would be the best best (the 1 or 3 day kinds are not safe for pregnancy).

So this morning, I sucked it up and visited the same Walgreens where I bought the Vagisil for some Monistat 7.

Do you see where this is going? Why didn’t just I drive the extra 5 minutes to go to another pharmacy? Because one humiliating experience would be enough for the week? Wrong. Apparently, the gods of embarrassing feminine purchases saw that I had not yet met my quota.

So I calmly walked up to the cashier with my Monistat 7. She barely glanced at the box and scanned it in.

It rang up as $34.95.

“Excuse me, that can’t be correct. I’m sure that it costs less than $12.”

I should’ve just kept my mouth shut and paid the extra $23. Because the cashier then took the microphone, and yelled: “PRICE CHECK ON MONISTAT 7! REPEAT, PRICE CHECK ON MONISTAT 7!”

And as if that weren’t bad enough, a clerk shouted back, “DO YOU WANT THE VAGINAL CREAM OR THE COMBINATION PACK?”

“COMBINATION PACK WITH TRIPLE ACTION SYSTEM!”

The good news was that I was correct about the price. The bad news? Well, it’s pretty obvious, don’t you think?

I can’t wait to see what else this pregnancy has in store for me.

But I’m not complaining. And I’m being 100% serious here. Despite all these TMI problems, I’m still elated to be pregnant and to have my baby growing and flourishing inside of me.

Week 15

Dear Baby,

I had a minor scare last night when I couldn’t find your heartbeat immediately on the fetal doppler. I had forgotten to check that you were still doing okay in my tummy before I left for Homecoming…and I was worried that the weekend’s festivities (in addition to being around all those smokers!) had somehow killed you.

But after some fumbling around, I found it. It was stronger and louder than ever. Thuh thump. Thuh thump. Thuh thump. This is seriously the most beautiful sound to me these days. I have been trying to get a video of it for this blog, but you always move away before I can get a good clip!

You are now 15 weeks along, or the size of an orange or an apple. They say that some women have already started to feel their babies by this point, but I have yet to feel anything.

You continue to breathe amniotic fluid through your nose and upper respiratory tract, which aids in developing the air sacs in your tiny lungs. Your heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood per day! (This will increase to 200 quarts by the time you come out.)

Your legs are now longer than your arms. Baby, I pray that you get your father’s height and long limbs…please don’t take after your short mom with her stumpy arms and legs! You eyelids are still fused shut, but you can now sense light. BabyCenter says that if I shine a flashlight at my belly, you will turn away. I’m tempted to experiment but I’ll contain myself.

Other little milestones include scalp pattern on your head (although hair has yet to grow in), and the formation of taste buds!

They say that starting this week, experts will be able to tell your sex with a greater certainty. Sometimes I am tempted to cajole your father into forking over an extra few hundred bucks for an elective 3D/4D ultrasound, so we can find out your sex early and get a detailed picture of what you look like. But he’s already disagreed, and I can see how that money can be spent better elsewhere.

I was pretty sure that you are a boy, but starting last week I have been less certain. I feel like everyone’s putting great pressure on me to have a boy, and although the sex of a baby is determined by the man’s sperm, it is still not uncommon in Asian cultures to “blame” the woman for having a girl.

With all this being said, baby, you know that I will love you equally regardless of your sex. I already love you so much, and that love grows stronger every day. Please continue to stay healthy and strong…and I wish nothing but the best for you!

My Dad is Awesome

I just saw this onesie at Baby Gap and I fell in love:

I know Baby Gap is grossly overpriced, but I’m most definitely getting this for the baby, regardless of its sex. I know J would love it as well because he’s as much of a Star Wars geek as me, nevermind the fact that Darth Vader is his favorite Star Wars character!

If I had the money, I would get one in every size so the baby will never be without it for the first year of its life!

Week 14

At my last OB appointment, the doctor wrote on the prescription for the 19-week anatomy scan (which will be May 13) that I am due 10/10.

My first thought was to wonder if my chart had been switched with someone else’s. Then I realized that she was taking the last early measurement of the baby, which helps calculate the due date before the 8th week (when the size of babies are most consistent with their age) if the date of the last menstrual period is not known.

For the record, if we go by the date of my last period, my due date is 10/4.

If we go by my 7th week ultrasound measurements, my due date is 10/10. But this can’t be totally accurate, since at Week 6 I was measuring to be due 10/7…and during my NT scan the baby was measuring larger than average, which may mean an earlier date.

Since less than 5% of women actually deliver on their due dates — and most doctors go by the date of the last menstrual period — I’ve decided to just cut out the confusion and stick with 10/4. I know most first-time moms go over their due dates anyway (but at the same time, I may go into labor a full 3-4 weeks early like a few of my friends did), so I’ll just continue telling people, “I’m due end of September to early October.”

Now, on to my much-belated Weeek 14 update!

Dear Baby,

Your limbs are coordinated enough to be making some complicated motions, many of which we have witnessed on ultrasounds. However, starting this week, you are moving on to facial expressions: squint, frown, and grimace!

(I can’t wait until you are able to start smiling and laughing, but these are apparently more “advanced” emotional responses.)

You are now urinating directly into the amniotic fluid, which you will continue to do until you are born, but at the same time breathing that same fluid as your liver, kidneys, and spleen continue to develop.

Have you noticed some changes to your skin lately? It’s because you’re starting to develop lanugo, an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, all over your body for warmth.

Your mother is feeling better than ever, but at the same time just plain feeling FAT. I’m at that in-between stage where I definitely have a belly (my waist size has already gone up by 6 inches!) but I still don’t look pregnant. Before I had been sucking in my tummy in public but lately I’ve found myself sticking it out so people realize I’m growing a human inside, not getting fat.

My weight has certainly plateaued — at this week’s appointment I hadn’t gained a pound since the last appoint which was 4 weeks ago — and I’m very happy about that. My belly has certainly grown since then, so I’m thinking that my weight has re-distributed throughout my body. My goal is to not gain too much weight in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters since I already gained enough in the 1st. I continue to take long walks with your furry big brother Comang and trying my best not to overeat.

The only bad thing about this week’s appointment was that the doctor didn’t print out an ultrasound picture for us to take home…how rude!

In one week I will go in for a test called the alpha-fetoprotein screening (AFP) which tests my blood for additional abnormalities (especially open neural tube defects such as spina bifida) that the NT scan may not have picked up on.

Our next official OB appointment is May 3, when I will meet the third and final doctor in our OB practice. I have heard he’s a very nice and pleasant man, so I’m going to ask if we can find out “the big question” — will you pee standing up or sitting down? I will be 18 weeks along then, so it’s definitely possible that we may find out!

If not then, our big anatomy scan at the hospital is scheduled for May 13 and we will almost definitely find out then. I can’t wait to know, baby! My heart tells me it’s a boy, but my mother thinks it’s a girl. Only time will tell…

Charm City

J and I are currently in Baltimore for a long weekend.

Having spent the better part of a decade here, I won’t be lying if I said I missed ol’ Charm City. My only regret is that our visit does not coincide with crab season. But fret not — you can be sure that I’ll scarf down extra Maryland lump crab cakes and plenty of steamed crabs covered in Old Bay sauce!

The best part of the trip so far has to be our hotel: The Hotel Monaco Baltimore. J had stayed here previously and liked it so much that he had booked it again for our trip. However, just last week I saw that Jetsetter was having a sale on the very same hotel! We were able to upgrade our room to a gorgeous suite for less than what we would’ve paid for our regular room and couldn’t be happier.

One great thing about traveling while pregnant is that your husband will spare no expenses when it comes to your comfort! He’s encouraged me to order room service and asked if I want a couples massage tomorrow.

The weekend will be jam-packed with JHU Homecoming ’10 events (it’s J’s 10-year!). I have never attended official Homecoming functions before, so I’m a bit excited, even if I can’t drink at the open bar events. We also plan on visiting the new campus store and getting a JHU onesie — our first official babywear purchase — and a doggie shirt for Comang if available.

I hope everyone has a great weekend! I’m now off to take a warm bath (my first after finding out about my pregnancy) in the mammoth two-person Fuji spa soaking tub!

It Never Hurts to Ask!

Yesterday, I received some good news and some bad news.

Let’s go for the good first.

A few months ago, I wondered to myself why we couldn’t get a lower mortgage rate. J and I had purchased our condo at the height of the housing boom (and just before the giant dip in mortgage rates), so our 30-year fixed rate was quite high at 6.5%.

Since applying for that loan and purchasing our home, our financial situation has changed (we went from 2 full-time income to 1 full-time and 1 measly freelancing) and we have a baby on the way.

So I took a full day to get all our financial information in order, took a deep breath, and called our mortgage lender.

It took several months, many hours on the phone, and numerous faxes sent back and forth.

I was ready to pull out my hair at certain points. Just how many different departments must I talk to before I can get a straight answer? And why can’t these different departments just TALK and SHARE our information with each other?

But it was worth it.

Sooo worth it.

Because yesterday, I learned that we were approved for a loan modification —

— a change in our interest rate that will save us almost $1,500 every month.

That’s an extra $18,000 a year. Money which could be put toward the baby and our long-term goals. Nevermind the peace of mind!

Now, for the bad news.

As a part of our application process, our lender ordered a home re-assessment for the current value of our home.

Our condo is now worth $50k less than what we paid for it.

I know that number is nothing compared to the blow dealt to other homeowners across the country. But it was a blow, nonetheless.

The moral of the story? (And the title of this post?)

It never hurts to ask!

I highly encourage everyone whose interest rates are higher than the current rates to call their lenders asap!

Porn Star Boobs

I am not as worried about my weight gain anymore.

While the great majority of women I know seem to have lost weight in their first trimesters (which I find discouraging because that makes me feel like a fatty in comparison), I have come to realize that not every woman handles pregnancy the same way.

Some women just gain more in the beginning than at the end. There are many sources that say most women who gain a lot of weight in their first trimester tend to plateau in their second semesters (and my weight has certainly plateaued in the past few weeks). And as long as you’re not stuffing your face with KFC (did anyone else hear about their new Bacon Sandwich on Fried Chicken? I feel my blood clotting just thinking about it!) and sitting on your ass all day, it all evens out at the end.

And personally, I would rather slowly gain weight from the beginning rather than all at the end, which makes you more susceptible to stretch marks.

Last night, I got further affirmation that the majority of my weight gain is in my boobs (breast enlargement usually doesn’t happen until later for most women too).

Because I got out the measuring tape…

And discovered that I have gained 4 inches in my chest.

I was a 36B/34C (depending on the brand) before pregnancy.

And according to the tape measure, I am now a 36DD.

I now officially have porn star boobs.

Weeks 12 & 13

I have been avoiding my weekly updates for two reasons:

We found out that we had lost our first baby at 12 weeks, so I wanted to make sure that “the jinxed week” would go by without a problem.
As April approaches, I have been getting more and more depressed.

I’ve been experiencing overwhelming guilt for doing this to the baby in my stomach, and I feel like a horrible mother. But lately, all the horrible feelings from my miscarriage has been rushing back and I am in a relapse of the grieving period.

I am so, so sorry, baby. I apologize in advance if you end up reading this years down the road, and feel cheated of all the love and attention that you should be receiving from your mother.

On to the updates…

Week 12 started off with a bang, with the NT Scan at the hospital (look at the pictures here). We were able to see you squirming around in my womb, sleeping with your arms over your head (just like your mom! ), and looking like a human for the first time.

Starting last week, you were able to start opening and closing your fingers, curling your toes, clenching your eyes shut, and making sucking movements with your mouth! You are even able to react to us poking at you from the outside (I only wish I can feel you already!).

According to experts, the average baby is 2.1 inches long, crown to rump, at this stage. I guess you are already above average because you were measuring 2.5 inches at the NT scan which occurred exactly at the start of Week 12.

I really thought that I can start breathing a sigh of relief after Week 12 passed, but that wasn’t the case. I entered Week 13 with even more anxiety and fear; the only relief came from the fetal doppler which I use every few days to make sure that you are still alive in there.

As I write this you are 13 weeks and 3 days old. Based on your Week 12 measurements, I imagine that you are now well over 3 inches long.

The biggest development news this week? You now have fingerprints! How amazing is that? I also know that just three weeks ago your head accounted for half your body size, but now that ratio is closer to one-third.

As for your mom, I have been feeling significantly better — physically — this week. Although my nausea has never been too bad with this pregnancy, I would still have that slight nagging feeling on a constant basis. But now, even that is practically non-existent and I have tons more energy.

I am definitely not able to button my pants anymore, and I have been giving my one BellaBand and one pair of maternity pants quite a workout. However, earlier this week I received a generous donation of gently-used maternity clothes (including some additional BellaBands!) and I’m happily giving them a try.

Baby, please stay healthy and happy. That is all I ask for…

Winner of the DVD Player Giveaway!

I received an overwhelmingly positive response to the Geek in Heels DVD Player Giveaway, so thank you to all who entered!

Unfortunately, I could not count all entries as they did not adhere to the following rules:

Only one comment entry per person would be entered, however…
Twitter entries were counted as many times as tweeted
Comments without a valid email address were not counted (how would I contact you if you won?)
I received a surprising amount of entries after yesterday’s 12pm (that’s noon, not midnight) cutoff time. Unfortunately, those did not make it to my entries spreadsheet either.

So, without further ado, the winner is…