Geek in Heels - Page 158

Mar 18, 2010 • In Christianity, Personal, Pregnancy, Touching

Weeping Tears of Joy for the Pipers

This morning, as I checked my Google Reader in usual fashion, I happened upon an update from Molly Piper.

And I couldn’t. Stop. Crying.

Some background…

If you are a Protestant Christian living in America, there is a very good chance that you are familiar with John Piper. One of the most respected preachers and authors of our generation, there is not one church I’ve attended that holds his ministry and servanthood in high regard. I often check his website, Desiring God, for inspiration as well as answers when struggling with my faith.

Molly Piper is John Piper’s daughter-in-law; more specifically, she is the wife of his son Abraham.

I first discovered Molly’s blog after suffering my own miscarriage. A miscarriage and infant loss support group for Christians had linked to her blog for inspiration. Molly had delivered a stillborn baby girl, Felicity, on September 22, 2007 — just three days before her due date.

I, and thousands of mothers who have experienced a loss, took much solace in Molly’s words. It’s easy to find tons of spiritual help on the web for those who are grieving the loss of their children, but I’ve found that the online support is not as far-reaching for Christians.

I found what I needed in Molly’s blog, and cried thousands of tears as I read through her archives.

Since losing Felicity, Molly has given birth to a healthy boy — Morrow — but she admits that the void left by the loss of a baby will never be completely filled. However, she thought that having a daughter might “round out” the grieving. “Not finalize it, but complete it in a way, if that makes any sense.”

Back in January, Molly joyously announced another pregnancy.

And yesterday, she discovered she is having TWINS…and they’re both girls!

I couldn’t help but weep tears of joy at the news. I have never met Molly, and I’ve only left the occasional comment on her blog, so nothing could prepare me for the joy and excitement at her news.

If this is not an example of God working through grief to reveal love and triumph, I don’t know what is.

Congratulations to the Pipers, and praise God!

Our Kids Are So Screwed…

Five years ago, J and I attended a fantastic New Year’s Eve party. The drinks were flowing, the props superb (Michael Jackson hats and gloves, anyone?), and the people rockin’. Needless to say, I partied a little too hard and had some trouble getting back to my then-apartment in Baltimore.

Luckily, J wasn’t quite as drunk and escorted me back to my place. But as soon as I walked through the front door, I collapsed. Literally. I couldn’t get off the floor and made quite a spectacle of myself as I tried to take off my boots.

Instead of helping me, J proceeded to start cracking up and even managed to whip out the camera to take pictures.

Such a considerate man, no?

I was reminded of this event today when I was woken from a nap by soft whimpering.

Where the heck is that coming from?

I knew that the culprit had to be Comang; I just couldn’t find him.

When I finally located my silly dog, he was behind a window curtain. He had somehow managed to get himself on the narrow window sill and was stuck. Too scared to jump down (it’s about 3′ high) and too dumb to retrace his steps back to safer heights, he stood on that ledge whimpering for his mommy to come rescue him.

I always considered myself the caring and sympathetic one of the couple. But as I look back on this episode and realize that I took pictures of our confused and flustered (and embarrassed?) dog instead of immediately going to his aide, I see that I am no better than my husband!

I can see us doing the same to our kids as they are surely to get themselves into embarrassing situations over the years, and posting the evidence online for everyone to see.

What do you think? Should we start saving up for therapy?

Pregnant Buddies

With my last pregnancy, I was especially excited that so many people I knew were due within 3 months of each other. We shared our pregnancy symptoms, progresses, and worries with each other…and we were all certain that our babies would all become fast friends when they were born.

Then I lost the baby.

Sometimes I like to think that I “took one for the team.” Does that make sense? I know that not everyone shares their miscarriages so anyone within that group could’ve had previous losses without my knowing. But among that group of women, I was clearly the one who got singled out and booted out on my ass through no fault of my own (or theirs) other than for the sake of keeping with the statistics.

This time around, I do not know anyone who is due this fall.

It’s a bit sad, really. I resort to message boards more than ever for pregnancy support. I know that I can turn to friends who are already mothers, or are further along in their pregnancies than me, but it’s different to have someone going through the same stages at the same time as opposed to those who have already gone through it and must recall their experiences.

This is why I was elated to find that two celebrities — for both of whom I have the highest respect and admiration — have announced their pregnancies today!

Amy Poehler, one of my favorite SNL alums, is expecting a second child with her husband Will Arnett (seriously, I would love to be their child…don’t they seem like such a fantastically funny pair?) and Danica McKellar (of The Wonder Years fame) and her husband Mike Verta are expecting their first child.

While Amy Poehler has not yet to announce her due date, Danica McKellar is now reaching the end of her first trimester, which means she is due right around the same time as me!

It may very well be that some of my friends who are expecting in the fall have chosen not to share their news yet. But for the time being, I will consider Amy and Danica to be my pregnant buddies and root them on as they progress in their pregnancies.

Gawker’s Truncated RSS Feeds (And How to Get Your Full Feeds Back)

Google Reader (or RSS in general) has become so indispensable in my internet experience that if a site does not offer an RSS feed, it’s likely that I’ll never return again. And although I do my best to keep my Google Reader subscriptions to a minimum, I still subscribe to hundreds upon hundreds of feeds.

This is precisely the reason I am an avid supporter of full RSS feeds. I use an RSS reader to make my life easier. Having truncated feeds defeats that purpose in my — the reader’s — eyes.

A few days ago, I, in addition to thousands of horrified readers, noticed that Gawker Media (the company behind popular sites such as Gizmodo, Lifehacker, Jezebel, and io9) had decided to truncate all its RSS feeds.

I understand the need behind truncated feeds. One, you want a more detailed assessment of your reader demographics. Secondly, there is more money in it because it forces your readers to click through to your website, where the ads are worth a lot more than the ads in your RSS feeds.

However, in my eyes, truncating your RSS feed for the sake of making more money is nothing but a short-term solution.

By inconveniencing your readers, you are pushing them to do something they don’t want to do. There has also been some evidence of full RSS feeds gaining more page viewership!

On a more personal note, I am far less likely to link back to an article, or even share it with friends, if that piece were truncated.

Do you support truncated RSS feeds? Why or why not?

Luckily, there is a way to get around Gawker’s truncated feeds. I may be a few days late in posting this, but I found it useful nonetheless and thought my readers could benefit too.

If you want access to the full RSS feed of any Gawker site,
just add “/vip.xml” to the end of the URL.

For example, the full RSS feed for Gizmodo is located at http://gizmodo.com/vip.xml and Lifehacker’s can be found at http://lifehacker.com/vip.xml

Updating your RSS reader with these new feed URLs may be a bit annoying, but taking the extra 2 minutes to do so was sure worth the effort for me.

Divorce Diamonds

A few years ago, Joshua Opperman made headlines when he created the website I Do Now I Don’t.

I’d been engaged for three months. After a tough day at work, I came home to find that my fiancée and all her belongings were gone. Well, almost everything was gone. That beautiful diamond engagement ring was sitting on the coffee table looking up at me as if to say “so, what’s next?”

I was devastated: The love of my life (or so I thought) was gone forever, and I was just crushed. How would I even start to recover?

I thought a great way to move on was to sell the diamond engagement ring that I had scrimped and saved for. So I took it back to the retailer I had bought it from. I assumed I would get a “haircut” off the price, but at least receive a decent offer. That’s when I got my second shock.

The offer was staggeringly low. It turns out jewelers mark up rings two or three times over their wholesale cost. That $10,000 ring probably cost the jeweler $3,500. And that’s just about what I was offered. Rather than get mad I decided to break even—and that’s when I launched I Do Now I Don’t.

Designed as a site where regular people can sell jewelry (for whatever reason) without having to deal with the harsh markdown faced by most second-hand pieces, I Do Now I Don’t is now thriving and even employs a GIA-trained gemologist on staff.

I was fully aware of this site and told J to take a look when I knew he was on the hunt for my engagement ring. Unfortunately, there wasn’t anything we liked at the time.

But if we had found something? Would we have purchased it? Knowing full well that the engagement ring is a product of a broken engagement or even a divorce?

The answer is a resounding “yes.”

Diamonds are expensive. And although I am fully aware of the poor resale value of diamonds (usually, you are lucky if you get back one-third of the initial purchase price) as well as the history behind DeBeers and artificial inflation of prices, I still wanted a diamond for my engagement ring and wouldn’t have minded a second-hand piece at all if it meant a lower sticker price.

Even if that ring were a “divorce diamond.”

There are some women who claim they could never accept a divorce diamond as an engagement ring. There might be a bad stigma attached to wearing a piece that is the product of a failed relationship and as such, it is not something you would like to be reminded of every time you look down to your hand.

However, I have never been the superstitious type. I don’t believe that inanimate objects can be vessels of bad karma. If J had found a beautiful ring at a discount, I would’ve told him to jump on it — regardless of its history.

Besides, who really knows the full, 100% truthful history behind their own rings? Even diamonds that are Kimberly Certified have been known to have some conflict behind them. And although the GIA certificate behind my engagement ring is only a year older than the time J purchased it, there’s still a chance that the diamond was worn by women hundreds of years ago, and only became re-certified on that date.

How about you? Would you ever knowingly accept a divorce diamond?

Week 11

Dear Baby,

In exactly one week we will be going to the hospital (not the OB’s office) for your first trimester screening, which includes a high-res ultrasound and bloodwork to test for the risk of common genetic defects such as down’s syndrome. This is an optional test for most expectant mothers, but our OB highly recommended it for us.

I recently found out that our hospital has a 3D and 4D ultrasound machine on premises, so there’s a chance that we might see a very detailed picture of you! It’s been two weeks since our last OB appointment so I am naturally anxious and excited for next Monday.

Congratulations on reaching week 11! Each new week is a new milestone and I’m already so proud of you. By now, you are about the size of a lime (or a fig) and you have a 1:1 ratio between body and head.

Your hair follicles and tooth buds are starting to develop, and you are starting to open and close your little fists! Due to the development of coordination as well as the sense of touch, you can’t help but explore your body, touching your face and mouth in amazement. Your swallow reflexes are also in development this week.

Lastly, your smelling and other olfactory senses will begin developing this week, which when combined with the maturing taste buds, will provide you with your first experiences of taste and smell.

How does it taste and smell in there, baby? Not too bad, I hope!

As for your mother, there isn’t anything new to report. I am still constipated, bloated, and gassy — lovely! I stocked up on some Benefiber and Gas-X today in hopes of gaining some relief.

Your father is worried that I spend too much time using the computer. Whenever he sees me with my laptop, he pushes it FAR away from my stomach and tells me to be careful. He may act tough, but he’s really a big softie. I can see him being overly protective of you (and myself being the voice of reason…which is usually the opposite case).

Continue to keep growing and stay healthy! We can’t wait to see you next week!

Judging Others for Their Financial Decisions

I once knew a blogger who lived an enviable life. Not only was she gorgeous, her husband was extremely wealthy and handsome. She constantly wrote of her designer purchases, exotic getaways, and decorating their mansion with custom-made furniture and one-of-a-kind decor.

Soon, she started getting snarky comments from readers who judged her for her lifestyle. “Shallow bitch,” they would write. “Don’t you know there is a recession going on? How can you brag about being rich when so many people are hurting? Why don’t you donate some money to charity?”

After receiving numerous comments of this nature, she shut down her blog.

I felt bad for this girl, because she genuinely seemed interesting and wrote of her extravagant life without sounding snobby.

Then I realized…I’ve done it too. I’ve judged others based on their purchases and lifestyles. And I’m sure many of you have too.

Financial decisions are coming into play more than ever, as we slowly begin budgeting for the baby’s arrival. (I know I have 6 months left, but it’s never too early to plan and prepare, right?)

Do we really need a $500 stroller?

Is a recliner/glider — which can run upwards of $1000 — really necessary? What’s wrong with the couch? I love my couch. Can’t I just feed the baby and read to my baby on the couch?

Why pay an extra $300 for a doula when my husband can do the same thing?

What the heck is a lactation consultant and why do I need to fork over additional money to be told how to breastfeed? (Read the harsh comments a NYTimes article about lactation consultants received.)

(ETA: these were my initial reactions. I am not dismissing, or looking down on anyone who chooses to do these things. I just didn’t realize the numerous options that are out there, or how much they cost…nevermind the number of women who become trained to think that they need these options.)

As I browse mommy blogs and pregnancy boards, I can’t help but be astonished at how much some families spend in preparation for their little ones.

Alright, I’m a bit jealous too.

J and I aren’t wealthy. We will rely on a lot of hand-me-downs when the baby arrives. I don’t plan on adding anything to the second bedroom (which will be the nursery) aside from a crib.

So as much as I would love to paint the nursery, set it up with new furniture and decorate it with nice accessories, we realize that these are unnecessary expenses that can be better spent on other things.

And this is when the judging comes in.

Because I can’t help but ask myself: Will a baby really appreciate a nicely decorated nursery, an expensive stroller, or a $1,000 crib? Are these things necessary for a happy and healthy baby?

Maybe it’s my own jealousy talking — for not being able to provide for the baby these nice things that seem to be the norm for so many of my friends’ households. For being made to feel like I’m an inadequate mommy for not being able to afford these things. Maybe it’s my own form of rationalization.

Maybe it’s guilt for planning a babymoon — our first vacation together in over 2 years and probably our last for another few years — when that money could be spent on nicer things for the baby.

Wow, I’m judging myself here.

And yes, I’ll probably be judged for choosing a babymoon over nice baby stuff.

How do you rationalize your splurges and luxury items?

Do you ever get worried that you will come off as shallow and materialistic as you share your latest purchases (whether via a blog, Twitter, Facebook) and talk about numerous vacations, especially in light of the current economic climate?

The Reason for My Claw Fingers

(Also, a major reason I have been MIA and probably will be for the next week or so…)

Final Fantasy XIII was released earlier this week.

I have only had time to play two days, but in those two days I managed to log over 26 hours of gameplay. I officially reached the halfway point (according to the guides) tonight and managed to let J pry the PS3 controller out of my fingers — which are stuck in nasty claw-like grips — for him to start playing too.

J forwarded me this comic on Tuesday, right before he came home with the pre-ordered game, and I found it hilarious and extremely fitting:

I’m loving the game so far. It started slow with a slightly confusing plot, but as I continued to play and the pieces of the story fell into place, I simply became addicted. Just like a good Korean drama. In addition, the graphics are simply amazing with no dip into the uncanny valley at all.

However, I must say that FFXIII is still no match to what I believe to be the best Final Fantasy game to date: Final Fantasy VII. There is a reason Square Enix decided to make a feature movie out of it. It’s just that good.

short interlude:

I had a crush on Sephiroth (I tend to have crushes on animated characters. Others have included Gambit of X-Men fame and Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid.) and I cried like a baby when Aeris died. And Cloud! My my what big hair…and sword…he has!

FFVII is also the driving force behind my famous 36-hour game binge. I’m being completely serious here — I really did play for 36 hours straight!

Is anyone else a devoted Final Fantasy fan? Anyone else enjoying FFXIII at this moment?

EHD Movies

Today I found a fantastic website called The Endowment for Human Development (EHD). The EHD website’s “Movie Theater” has some great videos of babies in development.

I have no idea how they got these in-womb footages, but they’re pretty amazing! Certainly a lot better than illustrations.

P.S. — The last video in the “10 – 12 Weeks” section, Responds to Touch, is unbelievable. I can’t believe my baby is doing this inside of me right now!

Would You Try Human Breast Milk?

Last week, a NY chef made headlines by adding cheese made of human breast milk to his menu.

The dish caused quite a stir and even managed to make its way to national news outlets. Those who tried the dish found it quite tasty; however, the general public found the mere idea of healthy adults consuming human breast milk disturbing.

As an avid Friends fan, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the episode where Ross, Chandler, and Rachel freak out upon witnessing Phoebe and Joey try Carol’s breast milk.

I think that once I start breastfeeding my children, I wouldn’t mind trying a bit just to see what it tasted like. I asked J if he would try my breast milk, and he said, “Sure, why not?”

That being said, I can’t imagine trying someone else’s breast milk.

Are you comfortable with the idea of dishes made of human breast milk? Would you ever try a family member or a friend’s breast milk?

(And if you’ve tasted breast milk, does it really taste like cantaloupe, as Susan and Joey state?)