Mar 1, 2010  •  In Baby, Personal

Keeping the Name a Secret

J has a complex about baby names: if he knows anyone in real life with a certain name (even if he hasn’t talked to that person since the 2nd grade), it’s out.

Not surprisingly, this makes naming our children quite difficult as he is one of the most natural connectors I’ve ever known.

Luckily we were able to settle on two names (one boy, one girl) quite early in the baby-planning process. So when people asked if we have any potential names, I happily obliged…

…and experienced the wrath of my husband.

I know that many couples choose to keep the names of their unborn children a secret for various reasons. Some may want to leave it a surprise so that when the baby is born, a proper introduction can be made to the world. Others decide not to reveal the name lest someone will make a snide comment about the name (apparently, negative comments about the name are more likely to stay silent once a live, squirming baby is attached to it).

J wants to keep it a secret because he’s scared that someone will steal it.

I personally think his reasoning is ridiculous — we would only reveal the name to friends and family, and what friend/family will steal a baby name? In addition, if we keep the names a secret, isn’t it more likely that someone we know will use that name?

But he stands firm on this decision. He says that he’s seen it happen before, and he does not want to go through the entire name-choosing process again.

Do you, or did you, have named picked out for your unborn children? What is your stance on the keeping-the-name-a-secret issue?

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Feb 27, 2010  •  In Korean, Personal, Relationships, Sports

Genetically Gifted

I once dated a guy who informed me on our third date that while he found me very attractive, thought that I was intelligent, funny, and met many of his criteria, he could never see the relationship progressing to a serious level because he could never marry someone like me.

“Um…why not?”

“Because you’re so petite.”

“What does being short have to do with anything?”

“I always wanted to marry someone tall and lean, with long, graceful limbs so that our kids will have the same traits.”

I took a cold hard look at him. He stood tall at 6’1″ with the lean build and long limbs that he so desired in his partner. He was fairly attractive and had the physical attributes of what our modern world considers genetically gifted.

I then considered myself. I do not think I’m too attractive, but I wouldn’t label myself an uggo either. However, I am flat-out short at 5’1″. I have short arms and legs. And while I’m short, I’m also curvy. I am by no means “lean.”

This guy and I got along well, made each other laugh, and the physical attraction was definitely there. I really thought I could see a future with him…until we had this conversation, that is.

Needless to day, the relationship did not progress much after this date. Who was I to deny this man [what he considers] genetic gifts he would like passed down to his children?

Soon, the guy faded into memory, stored in the deep corner of my brain labeled “assholes I’ve dated prior to meeting J.” However, I was forced to revisit the file when yesterday, I read an article entitled “Kim Yu-na’s Body Shape Sets Her Apart” in The Chosun Ilbo (one of Korea’s most prominent newspapers).

The Korean media is known for tediously analyzing celebrities’ physical attributes, even going as far as to whipping out measuring tapes mid-interview. This article is no exception; the Olympic gold medalist’s body is placed on a pedestal for observation and admiration.

Kim’s body proportion is often said to be the perfect golden ratio. The Chosun Ilbo has obtained her measurements from uniform maker INS 102, which measured Kim at a hotel in Seoul in December.

Standing 164 cm tall and weighing 47 kg [104 lbs], Kim’s lower body from waist to the ankle bone measures 96 cm [38 in], almost double the length of her torso, which is 50 cm [20 in]. Fashion stylist Kim Seong-il said, “With normal people, if the ratio of the upper and the lower body is 4.5:5.5, we consider them long-legged. Because of her long legs, Kim’s jumps look bigger and more elegant.”

Her long and slender arms, which measure 68 cm [27 in], also help boost her expression grade. Dr Chung Jae-young at Jelim Plastic Surgery Clinic said, “Normally, the length of your arms stretched out matches your height. But for Kim, the length of both arms plus her shoulder width, which is 46cm [18 in], is almost 180 cm [71 in]. Her arms are very long.” That makes small arm movements look softer and more fluid.

So essentially, Kim Yu-Na’s body shape is ideal for being a figure skater. Her long legs give the illusion of higher and more elegant jumps. Her long arms help her movements look more graceful.

It goes by no surprise that the large majority of successful athletes were dealt the lucky hand in the gene pool — what is the percentage of NBA players who stand under 6’4″ tall? Or NFL linebackers who weigh under 230 lbs? Genetics definitely go on to play significant roles in many athlete’s lives, and Kim Yu-Na is no exception.

Upon further examination of the article, the line “overdevelopment of muscles in certain parts of the body such as upper arms or thighs can make movements look stiff” caught my eye. I have thick arms and legs, mostly due to the fact that when I work out, I tend to easily build muscle mass in my upper arms and thighs. Is this why I have never been considered graceful?

I am obviously not a professional athlete. But after pondering the conversation I had with the man above, as well as what the Chosun Ilbo article implies, I couldn’t help but wonder what if. What if I had been tall (both my parents are short)? What if I had been given a leaner, longer body type? Would I have become more successful in my professional, athletic, and romantic life?

I can honestly say that I did not consciously choose to marry J based on his genes. However, the fact that he’s attractive, fairly tall, and musically as well as athletically gifted did not hurt. I am certain that the same holds true for J. Whenever I get worried that our kids will have my short genes, he says, “Don’t worry — just look at Ray Rice or Nate Robinson!”

How many of you are/were on the lookout for
good genes when choosing a partner?

Would you ever reject a potential partner due to that fact that he/she does not posess the genetic traits you would like passed down to your kids?

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Feb 26, 2010  •  In Comang, NYC, Personal

Is Anyone Else Sick of the Snow?

A blizzard is sweeping across the area…again.

Here’s a view of my street at 7am this morning. We are expecting several more inches.

Walking Comang was quite an adventure. I can’t say that he enjoyed the experience, as whenever he took a pause he would inevitably sink into the foot-deep snow and require assistance.

 

I don’t know about you, but I am sooooo ready for winter to be over. I am sick of putting on layers upon layers whenever I leave the house. I am sick of the dirty brown snow piled on the sidewalks. I am sick of having sore neck and shoulders at the end of the day (because I scrunch up my shoulders when I’m cold).

J and I haven’t taken a single vacation together since our honeymoon two years ago. I’m hoping for a big tax refund so that we can at least have a weekend getaway before the baby arrives.

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Feb 26, 2010  •  In Funny

Canadian WIN

In response to the US Men’s Hockey Team’s historic win over the Canadian team Sunday night:

Via tiagovaz.org

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Feb 24, 2010  •  In Pregnancy

Week 8

Dear Baby,

I am a few days late posting the weekly update, and I hope that this doesn’t turn into a habit!

I am definitely starting to get a bump and my pants are getting tight around the waist. Ever since seeing you (and hearing you!) your father has become a bit more affectionate — he’s finally started to touch my belly and yells at your older (furry) brother when he jumps on me. When we spoon at night, his hand always manages to find its way to my stomach. And the first thing that he does when he wakes up is to place his hand on my bump to say “good morning.”

Baby, you are now the size of a raspberry. Your arms and legs and waving wildly about as you get used to these strange contraptions that are now dangling from your torso.

Your fingers and toes are webbed, but the twenty digits will separate within the next few weeks. Your tail has just about disappeared, and you are starting to look more and more human (and less like a seahorse) every day.

I still get very scared that you have stopped growing inside of me. They say that pregnant women wish for a window into our abdomen through which we can check on our little one, and I am no exception. I look forward to my next exam on March 5 with fear and anticipation…the days really couldn’t go fast enough!

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Feb 24, 2010  •  In Korean, Personal

Queen Yu-Na

Last week I had a short conversation with my father about the world champion figure skater Kim Yu-Na.

Geek in Heels: Are you and mom going to watch the ladies’ figure skating segments?

Father Geek: Of course! All Koreans will be watching and rooting for Kim Yu-Na.

Geek in Heels: Don’t you feel a little bad for her? She has the weight of an entire country on her shoulders because South Korea has never had a skater go so far before. Nevermind the fact that her biggest competitor [Mao Asada] is a friend…the history of hostility between Korea and Japan puts even more pressure on the 19-year-old.

Father Geek: But that’s what winning is about. And that’s what will make it that much more special when she wins! Koreans thrive on pressure, overcoming the odds and winning. How else could such a little country be one of the world’s most advanced nations?

I have never been interested in figure skating; nor have I followed Kim Yu-Na in the past. However, I made it a point to stay up late (well, later than usual) last night to watch the Ladies’ Figure Skating Short Program.

I became nervous when I saw that Kim Yu-Na will be skating right after Mao Asada. I began biting my nails when I saw Mao Asada’s beautiful performance which catapulted her to the top of the results.

Then Queen Yu-Na (as she is called in Korea) took the ice.

Her performance was breathtaking. It was spectacular.

Kim Yu-Na’s score of 78.50 set the record-high for the current scoring system. The biggest surprise came when analysts commented that this was not her best performance, that she must be holding back in preparation for the long program!

I couldn’t help but be proud of my fellow Korean. Who cares if the previous 3 favorites entering the Winter Olympics failed to win the gold medal in ladies’ figure skating? I just know that she will take the gold come Thursday night.

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Feb 23, 2010  •  In Gadgets, Home, Reviews

Why We Chose the Miele Over Dyson

Our beloved Roomba has died.

Correction: it is “disabled.” It has lost a lot of its suction power, its parts constantly need replacing, and it’s nearly not as “smart” as it used to be.

So we made the difficult decision to get a replacement vacuum.

I have experienced my share of vacuum frustration over the years, as my parents are neat FREAKS who clean for fun. (No joke. When we were growing up, my father, after grueling 6-day, 70-hour workweeks, would wake the entire family up at 7am every Sunday morning to clean.)

In addition, J likes to walk around the apartment barefoot and so likes his floors spic and span. Oh, and did I mention that he’s allergic to dust? And that we have a baby on the way?

As such, we decided to splurge and I excitedly turned my sights to the Dyson.

Ahh, Dyson. The kings of vacs. The vacuum that claims to never lose suction. And no bags! No filters! HEPA certified! Plenty of satisfied customers!

I carefully considered each Dyson model to try to find one that would best suit our needs: all hardwood floors with some tight spaces (ie, under the bed and sofa). That’s when I realized that an upright would be too heavy and bulky; a canister vacuum would be better for us…and the Dyson canisters start at $699. Oy vey.

Then I happened upon some interesting information about Dyson. Many specialty vacuum retailers actually do not recommend the Dyson for the following reasons:

    • A vacuum which says “HEPA certified” almost always means that its filter is HEPA certified. The vacuum itself can still emit tons of dust and particles into the air.

 

    • Bagless does not always mean cleanest. When you are emptying the Dyson canister, you are once again letting all the particles into the air. In cases like this, it is far better to invest in a vacuum with quality bags that will trap and keep the particles inside from the vacuum to the trash.

 

  • Up until the year 2000, Dyson licensed its design to a distributor named Phantom (do you remember these vacuums? I do), which went out of business. The Dyson is actually a rebranded Phantom, with the same design at an increased price, and new marketing efforts.

I then came across this YouTube video:

Granted, this retailer may be biased as his store does not carry Dysons. However, what really drew me in was the particle counter…you can’t fake that!

I proceeded to watch his video on Miele vacuums and became interested in this German brand. I knew it to be a manufacturer of high-end appliances; were their vacuums top-notch as well?

My internet searches found nothing but happy, satisfied, and long-time, loyal customers of Miele vacuums.

The best part? The Miele Polaris, which was designed specifically with hard floor surfaces and low-pile carpeting in mind, was a steal compared to the Dyson at $399.

Not only that — this vacuum is sexy!

We ordered ours online from the many internet vacuum stores that offer free overnight shipping for Miele vacuums and received it today.

I love it.

The Polaris, like all Mieles, comes with various power settings (this particular model, although on the low end of the Miele product line, comes with six) and from my one-time use, even the lowest setting seems to have enough suction power for most household cleaning.

The vacuum hose is crush-proof and the body is lightweight at 11 lbs. The vacuum is quiet — many new users become concerned that the suction power must be sub-par due to its low noise levels; however, the quiet operation is only due to the superior design. Maneuverability is superb — the body follows me easily, and the wand/floor attachment can be used completely horizontal to the ground. This is a lifesaver for cleaning under our king sized bed!

All Miele vacuum bags are made of nonwoven fabric and lined with aluminum foiled plastic. The bags seal closed when removed from the vacuum for the ultimate in clean. Sure, they can be expensive ($19 for a box of 4) but from what I’ve read, each lasts a LONG time.

The best part is that the Miele is truly HEPA. After using it around the house, I can honestly say that the air seems fresher! Gone are the days of the distinct “vacuum smell” that plagues many households after cleaning!

I’m loving this vacuum so much that I’m considering gifting one to my parents! And I highly recommend it to my readers!

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Feb 20, 2010  •  In Personal, Pregnancy

How We Spent Valentine’s Day at the ER

…or at least the first hour of February 14.

On the night of Friday, February 12, I started having abdominal pains. Not cramps, mind you, but sharp, shooting pains that kept me up through the night.

I decided to suck it up and went into work the next day because Saturdays are the busiest days at the store.

The pains persisted throughout the day and I was still experiencing them when I went home to finally see my husband after a grueling week at my parents’. It continued through dinner and by this time I was a nervous wreck.

It was 9pm on a Saturday night — the night before Valentine’s Day and during a holiday weekend (Presidents’ Day would be on Monday) — would any doctor’s office even be open?

So we decided to stop by the ER.

I checked myself in and we patiently waited. Luckily, the ER was practically empty that night — only 2 patients were ahead of us — and we only had to wait 15 minutes, tops.

Soon, the staff directed us to a private “booth” (which was as large as a private hospital room) and I changed into a hospital gown. After taking about a bazillion tubes of blood, they hooked me to an IV and I soon found myself lying on the bed. J remained by my side on a hard plastic chair.

I was not doubled over in pain, nor was I screaming in agony. Why did we go to the ER for stomach pains?

Because I was pregnant.

Correction: I am pregnant. Yes, what many of you conjectured is correct. And I am making the official announcement, on my blog, NOW.

Our visit to the ER lasted five hours, most of which were spent waiting. Waiting for blood results and waiting for the ultrasound tech to come in (she had left for the night and so they had to call her in for me).

We had our own private TV so the wait wasn’t that bad. We watched Dangerous Liaisons (note: Cruel Intentions is better) and watched reruns of Dirty Jobs. Both of us even fell asleep at certain points.

When the ultrasound tech finally arrived, we were wheeled to a room with humongous equipment (that’s what she said). Within a few minutes, the tech confirmed the pregnancy and said that the baby didn’t seem to be in any danger!

She turned the screen around so that both of us could see our baby for the first time (we hadn’t had our first OB appointment yet) and there it was. A little bean-looking thing with a flickering heartbeat. She even amplified the sound of the baby’s heartbeat for us and the fast but steady thu-thump thu-thump echoed throughout the room.

It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard.

She proceeded to take loads of measurements — the length of the baby, the length of its head, the length of my ovaries, the space between my vagina and anus (okay, maybe not that one), and who knows what else. She concluded the 10-minute examination by announcing that everything looked perfect.

I was then wheeled back to my “booth” and an hour later, the doctor came in to tell us that both the blood tests and the ultrasound showed no problems with the pregnancy. He advised me to take some Tylenol for the pain, but could really find no reason for the pain itself. I was to continue taking my prenatal vitamins and go see my regular OB if the pain persisted.

So yes, we spent the first hour of Valentine’s Day at the ER. It was not the most ideal way to spend our first night together in a week, and I was scared sh*tless for the majority of the visit.

However, we saw our baby for the first time and learned that everything was progressing smoothly. In a week’s time we would have our first OB visit and see the thriving baby once again.

You can read more about it at http://baby.geekinheels.com

The pains eventually went away after a few days. And I am back to my normal life, cautiously but excitedly awaiting my baby.

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Feb 20, 2010  •  In Personal, Pregnancy

The Big News

Yes, I am pregnant again. And yes, I started this blog as soon as I found out last month. Please feel free to browse the archives. In the meantime, I’ve decided to answer any questions you might have…

* * *

When did you find out?

I found out on the morning of J’s birthday, on January 27th. I was a bit reluctant to take the test, because I had taken one three days earlier to receive a big fat NEGATIVE. I was not having any symptoms, and our sexcapades had been off that month due to his crazy work hours and subsequently falling ill. I was certain that we had missed our window of opportunity and chalked up my late period to another irregular cycle.

But I decided to take one anyway, because a positive test would make a great birthday present, no?

Boy was I surprised to see the line starting to appear as soon as I finished peeing. It was faint, but definitely there.

How did you react?

I ran to our bed to show J (who was just starting to wake up), and as soon as he confirmed the line, I started bawling my eyes out.

I was SO. DAMN. INCREDIBLY. HAPPY.

J’s reaction was a lot more reserved. Later, he would joke that the baby had stolen his thunder (“It’s supposed to be my day!”).

How far along are you?

I am approximately seven and a half weeks along. The baby is due October 4th.

Have you been to a doctor yet? What did she say?

We had our trip to the ER last week, and our first OB appointment yesterday, and they say that everything looks perfect.

Most doctors will not see you until you’re 8-12 weeks along. Because of my last pregnancy ending in a miscarriage, I had the option of going in earlier for monitoring and additional testing.

However, before the 6-7 week mark, there really isn’t much that a doctor can do for you aside from confirm the pregnancy. Sure, they can test to make sure that your hCG (the pregnancy hormone) levels are doubling every 2-3 days, and to see if your progesterone levels are within normal range. However, even if something were to be problematic, there isn’t much they can do for you so early in the pregnancy.

Heck, there still isn’t much that the doc can do for me if the baby were to be in trouble again. But at this point, I knew that I would at least be able to see a heartbeat on the ultrasound.

What made you decide to tell now?

Some may say I’m making the announcement too early, that it’s bad luck and/or I’m setting myself up for disappointment again.

Some may wonder why I decided to wait so long after finding out to announce.

You can’t please everyone!

My personal reason for not announcing right away is fear. With my last pregnancy, I started having symptoms before getting the positive test result at 4 weeks. I am currently midway through my 7th week and have had hardly any symptoms aside from constant fatigue.

There is also the fact that the past two weeks have been so hard on me, both physically and mentally. I really wasn’t sure the baby would make it!

For this reason, I wanted to wait until my first appointment to confirm that I am, in fact, pregnant, and that the baby is doing well.

But still…aren’t you scared that you’ll miscarry again?

Of course I am. In fact, J wasn’t sure I should announce before the second trimester.

One thing I learned in the miscarriage support groups is that there is no safe zone. You can’t imagine how many women lose their babies well into their 2nd and 3rd trimesters. Then there are possible complications at birth, and nevermind SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome)! 

After seeing the heartbeat, a woman’s chance of a miscarriage is at 4%. After passing the 12 week mark, it is 2%. To me, the difference in odds is not significant enough to warrant the extra month-long wait.

Some people admit that seeing a woman announce her pregnancy before the customary 12 weeks makes them uncomfortable. I do not see why this should be so — the choice is personal for everyone and they should not be made guilty for wanting to share their good news. I see this akin to people who become uncomfortable with the mention of a miscarriage. The topic is so taboo in our culture that it sickens me. While some may choose to grieve in private, others (like me) need and appreciate the support of friends and family.

Doctors estimate that 1 in 5 pregnancies end in a miscarriage. Some say that the number is even higher — one in three — and that many women do not even know they were pregnant because they miscarry so early.

I already beat the odds once by miscarrying so late into my first trimester. If I were to lose this baby as well, God surely had a good reason. All I can do is stay faithful.

What did you do differently this month to get pregnant?

I believe that one of the worst things you can say to a woman who is trying to get pregnant is “just relax” or “just let it happen.” You can’t understand how frustrating that is to someone who is longing to achieve something that millions of women apparently have no problem doing.

Some say that stress can hinder your TTC (trying to conceive) efforts. I call bullshit. I have read many reports stating that the only way stress can affect your reproductive cycle is if there is lots and LOTS of it.

When I admitted in January that I had started charting my basal body temperature in addition to trying other fertility tips, some people told me that I needed to chill out. Because surely only crazy, desperate women do those things!

It was only through charting that I realized I was ovulating late. It was only through extensive research and being a part of online TTC communities that I became well-aware of the numerous options that would increase my fertility.

I am now more comfortable than ever with my body and reproductive cycle. And when the time comes to start TTC again, I know exactly what to do and what to expect.

Will geekinheels.com turn into a baby blog?

One thing that pained me very much was seeing so many of my friends blogging/Twittering/Facebook-ing about their pregnancies and babies after losing a baby of my own.

So many of my readers have reached out to me following my miscarriage sharing stories of their own. Many more wrote to me when I announced we were TTC again, confessing of their own TTC woes.

And as a woman who waited 4 months to see a positive on a pregnancy test (which I know isn’t that bad compared to others who wait years), I know how much it can hurt to see baby-this and pregnancy-that on a site you read regularly. So I decided to create a new blog — this one — to chronicle this journey. Big announcements/milestones will be shared on the main blog, but this will be updated with the day-to-day stuff.

 * * *

Do you have any other questions? Leave a comment, and I’d be happy to answer them!

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Feb 20, 2010  •  In Pregnancy

New Due Date

We had our first appointment with my OB this morning, and everything looks perfect.

That’s our baby — the squiggly thing that looks like a seahorse. The circle to the left of it is the yolk sac, which provides nutrients for the baby until the placenta is fully formed. We were even able to see the tiny line connecting the baby to the yolk sac, but it isn’t visible in this picture.

The heartbeat is strong and regular, and the doctor said that there is no need to worry at all at this point.

The OB did give us a new due date: October 4. I know most first pregnancies go past the 40-week mark, but I kinda wish the baby would arrive a bit early since we already have two October birthdays in my family (my mother and sister). At the same time, I’d still be happy if the baby were to arrive 2 weeks late — just as long as it is healthy!

The doctor is having us come in every two weeks instead of four because I am super-nervous and paranoid. Our next appointment is March 5th…I can’t wait!

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