Yesterday my mother took me to a doctor who specializes in Eastern medicine.

After the precursory examination of my eyes, hands, nails, and taking my pulse for a long, long time, the doctor asked me, “Why are you so stressed out?”

She went on to say that everything seems physically fine…it is just my mental state that is in trouble.

“Your pulse sounds so tired. Were you this stressed out when you were pregnant?”

Um, let’s see. Unemployment? Check. Health insurance woes? Check. Additional stress from family matters? Check. Catching the flu which left me bed-ridden for 5 days, 3 of which were marked with a high fever? Check and check.

However, these were just superficial sources of stress. I have always been a super-sensitive person who is perpetually weighed down by the worries of the world. I have struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my adult years — so much so that sometimes I have trouble imagining my life without it.

“You are physically well; there is no reason for you to have lost the baby. I’m guessing that your mental state was a big contributing factor in your miscarriage.”

My mind immediate flashed back to last summer, when I suffered partial facial paralysis (i, ii, iii). The Asian holistic doctor who treated me with acupuncture had warned me that unless my stress levels subside, I will not be able to have children (or at least have very difficult pregnancies).

Was my inquietude the source of the miscarriage?

“You need to find ways to relax yourself. Pursue hobbies. Go exercise. Think for yourself and act for your happiness.”

The doctor then recommended that I come in for a few sessions of acupuncture, where she will insert needles into my abdomen in addition to (sorry if TMI) blowing smoke up my vagina. Seriously. According to her, a D&C procedure can only clean the uterus so much. The needles, in addition to the smoke from the burning of a special mixture of herbs, will help clean and purify my uterus in preparation for another child.

She also said that we shouldn’t try to get pregnant for at least another 5-6 months.

“Otherwise, there is a good chance that you will miscarry again.”

Whaaaattttt?

J and I had been talking about trying again very soon, especially now that our financial situation has taken a positive turn. And after having had the baby take away from us at 3 months, all I want now is to get knocked up again and have a healthy baby.

But 5-6 months? Really? I had already gotten the go-ahead from my OB.

“A woman’s uterus has memories. We have to treat miscarriages as if you’ve just given birth. You need treatment to cleanse. You need time to heal and recover fully.”

What do you think of this doctor’s opinions? Would you wait the minimum of 5-6 months to try to conceive again, or would you take the advice of my OB who informed me that we can start trying again as soon as we feel ready?

I am still torn on this point. J says it is 100% up to me. On one hand, I want to minimize the risk of another miscarriage as much as we can. On the other, I became a mother as soon as I saw the ‘+’ sign on the pregnancy test. I want a child as soon as possible, dammit!