Geek in Heels - Page 44

Aug 9, 2012 • In Depression, Personal

Medicated, and Uninspired

“Let’s see…I see that you’re now on 450mg of Wellbutrin and 40mg of Prozac. How are you feeling?”

“Much better. I’m still not quite where I would like to be, but I am crying less, smiling more, and I haven’t had a breakdown in over a month. I do, have a question though…”

“Yes?”

“I have noticed that I am also experiencing less euphoria. Don’t get me wrong — I am doing much better and generally more happy. But I have also found that my highs are not quite as high as they used to be.”

“That is a common side effect of antidepressants. I think one of my patients put it best when she said that her moods became more muted, that her world become less saturated. It is a tradeoff, and you need to decide: would you rather be generally happy, or experience a greater range of emotions that includes the lowest of the lows? It’s something I’d like you to think about before our next session…”

My life on antidepressants remind me of the “Vibrance” feature in Photoshop.

A few years ago, I wrote a post titled “Unmedicated” which touched upon this very issue. In it, I confessed that I was afraid to go back to therapy and start taking meds again because I didn’t want to lose my passion.

The intense downs contrast so beautifully with life in general that I cannot feel but feel inspired.

It is obvious that I have not been blogging as often, and I had just figured that my busy life as a mother of two finally caught up with me. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I still have the time to blog. If anything, I have more free time now than when I first started therapy, now that my in-laws are in town to help with the babies.

The simple truth of the matter was that I am feeling uninspired these days.

Upon doing some research into this matter, I stumbled upon an article titled “Depressed People See the World in Gray” which talks about a study indicating that people suffering from depression literally saw the world in gray. In other words, they perceived less contrast in colors that were presented to them.

The article also mentions that antidepressants seemed to have no effect in this phenomenon.

If depressed people physically perceive the world differently, can the use of antidepressants have a similarly mental affect?

It is certainly something to think about as I continue on this road to recovery.

And in the meantime, I will have to find other sources of inspiration and creativity.

Night and Day

This past weekend — at just shy of 9 months of age — Aerin finally sprouted her first two teeth.

As I proudly ran my finger over Aerin’s new incisors (and got repeatedly bitten in the process, as having her mother’s finger shoved in her mouth is something that she obviously does not like), I couldn’t help but think back to when Claire got her first teeth at 6 months of age. I had expected Aerin to get her first teeth at approximately the same age too, so the 3-month difference — which is quite large in a baby time — was yet another evidence of how differently my daughters grow, develop, and become themselves.

One of the things I find most difficult about parenthood is resisting the urge to compare the two. Who did _____ first? Who is more/less _____ than the other? Who is better/worse at _____ than the other?

After all, I have always hated it when my parents compared me to my sister, or even other kids while growing up. Isn’t this is a common complaint among many children? Parents should respect the fact that all kids grow at different paces, and develop different tastes and aptitudes along the way…right?

But it is so difficult not to. It practically seems like second nature to measure Aerin alongside her older sister because Claire, my firstborn, is what I currently know most intimately about raising a child. And I assume that as they grow older, I will start comparing Claire to Aerin as well.

In the past few weeks, Aerin has started to crawl…backwards.

For instance, we already know that Claire generally seems to a more detail-oriented person, while Aerin is more interested in the big picture. I had first suspected this when Aerin started to master her gross motor skills much faster than Claire, who in contrast always stayed ahead of the curve in her fine motor skills but lagged slightly behind in her gross motor skills. And now that Aerin’s personality is surfacing more, this becomes more and more apparent when you observe how each girl plays and interacts with the world around them.

We also know that Claire is much more cautious and afraid of new experiences. Aerin, on the other hand, seems fearless and always seems to want to explore, touch, taste, and feel everything around her. We never really had to worry too much about Claire’s safety while she learned to become more mobile, because she has always been such a cautious and careful little girl. But now that Aerin is crawling (another difference: Claire never crawled), we really need to keep a careful eye on her and even baby-proof the house much further than we did with Claire.

Aerin is already more personable and sociable than Claire. Claire is much more sensitive and observant. Claire’s concentration levels have always been very high for her age, while Aerin is easily distracted like other babies. The list goes on and on.

Claire’s very first knee scrape occurred when she was 21 months old.

I know that there’s a good chance my daughters’ personalities will change as they continue to age and mature. But for the moment — at 22 months and 9 months of age — they are as different as night and day. And while many people remark on their difference in personalities, it is so much more apparent to me, their mother.

It is now clear to me that I cannot help but compare my children to each other. As a result, the best way to approach this would be to acknowledge and embrace each girls’ differences, and try my best not to pressure them to be something they are not, or something they would be unhappy with.

And never, ever, start a sentence with “Why can’t you be more like…”

Wacky Street Fighter Characters

What if Ronald McDonald were to face Colonel Sanders in a Street Fighter-style brawl? How about Waldo (of “Where’s Waldo?” fame) matched up against the Michelin Man?

That’s exactly what Japanese illustrator Kei Suwabe had in mind when he took figures from pop culture and anime and created a series of unexpected Street Fighter characters. Can you recognize them all?

Harry Potter Characters: Books vs Movies

Via Out of Print.

Game of Thrones for Math Nerds [LOL]

J is OBSESSED with the Game of Thrones books. Because he has them on his tablet and I prefer physical books over e-books, he bought me the boxed set and asks me EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, “What part are you at now???”

I’m still pretty early in the series, but I have read enough (and heard enough!) to find this video absolutely hilarious:

Even if you don’t know much about Game of Thrones, you may still find it pretty funny — take a look!

Dressing the Part: Should Moms Dress More Conservatively?

Now that I have lost most of the baby weight (just a few more pounds to go!) and can fit into most of my old clothes, I have come to a realization.

“Did I always wear clothes this tight?” I asked J.

“Yep. That shirt looks just the way it used to on you before the babies.”

Because I became pregnant with Aerin just a few months after having Claire, I can safely say that I have spent the majority of the past 2.5 years pregnant and obviously well above my usual weight. I was also no longer working, thus being prompted to dress in loose shabby clothing or maternity wear.

Being able to fit into my old clothes is exciting. But because it has been so long since I have worn these clothes, I had forgotten how they fit. More specifically, how form-hugging they were.

My mind flashed back to a conversation I recently had with a girlfriend. I had treated myself to a girls night out, and we were sipping drinks at one of our old stomping grounds: a lounge that is popular for pre-partying before heading to clubs. As I checked out the scene and noticed the other girls — the majority of them clearly in their early twenties — I asked my friend, “Can you believe what girls are wearing these days? I would never let my daughters walk out of the door like that.”

My friend rolled her eyes. “Oh Jenny, please. We used to wear stuff like this all the time when we went out, remember?”

“No we did not!” I retorted.

“Yes we did. And some of our outfits were way more scandalous than what these girls are wearing. Go look at pictures of us from back then.”

And she was right.

Me, circa 2002. You can’t really tell from this picture, but the
top I am wearing has a lace-up neckline that bares a lot of cleavage.

Has having kids transformed my fashion tastes? Have I become a typical mom in conservative clothes?

I then did a quick assessment of my closet. Can a mother of two pull this off? SHOULD a mother of two wear this?

I know that I am still relatively young (31), and I am constantly told that I look more like I’m in my mid-to-late twenties. I am pretty certain that if I were to don my old, form-fitting clothes, most people wouldn’t bat an eye. I know that I should wear whatever makes me happy, just as long as it is appropriate for the venues I may be attending.

But now I can’t help but ask myself if I feel comfortable wearing these clothes.

And the answer is no. At least, not all of them.

I have always said that my biggest motivation to lose the baby weight is economical — I did not want to buy new clothes! But now that I have become a mother whose fashion sense has become more conservative, I may need to add more mature pieces to my wardrobe.

What do you think? Should mothers dress more conservatively than they did in their pre-baby days? Have you found your taste in fashion growing more conservative as you get older?

Batman Through the Ages [Infographic]

There’s only a week and a half left until The Dark Knight Rises hits the theaters! Is anyone else as excited as I am??!!! Because if rumors are to be believed, this final installment of the Christopher Nolan trilogy will be the best yet — and nobody can deny that The Dark Knight will be pretty difficult to beat.

(I recently read that Warner Bros. had originally planned on The Riddler, not Bane, as the primary villain in The Dark Knight Rises. And that they had wanted Leonardo DiCaprio for the role…HOW FREAKIN AWESOME WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN?!?? I mean, isn’t Leo just PERFECT for The Riddler? He would have brought to the role the same darkness that Heath Ledger had given The Joker…sigh. Perhaps they will make a future Batman film with this casting in mind.)

In anticipation of what will probably be the biggest film of the summer, Redditor gonzoblair has created an infographic titled “From Kane to Nolan: Seventy Years of Bat Evolution.” Check it out below — and don’t miss what he has titled the Joel Schumacher era!

The Dark Knight Rises will be one of the few films that J and I purposely fork over extra money for the IMAX version, because it was actually shot with IMAX equipment, and not only converted to IMAX in post-production like most other movies. In fact, this movie will contain the most IMAX footage ever for a Hollywood feature. So if you have an IMAX theater nearby, try to see this latest Batman movie in the format for which it was created.

Famous Logos: Original vs Current

You know me — I can never resist a good logo story! Brought to you by Flavorwire, here are the logos of 10 famous companies, placed side-by-side with their originals:

Our Family’s First Trip to the Beach

…was a big fat FAIL.

This past Saturday, J and I loaded up the car, strapped both girls into their car seats with me sitting uncomfortably between them, and drove a little over an hour to Long Island for a day at the beach with family and friends.

I was admittedly uncomfortable with the idea of bringing Aerin to the beach because she tries to put everything into her mouth these days — even my nose! — but J assured me that he would take care of her while I watched Claire.

Anyway, back to the story. We had purposely left an hour after everyone else so that the car ride would coincide with the girls’ nap times. We figured that the girls would zonk out soon after we hit the road, and that they would be refreshed and well-rested when we arrived at the beach.

Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.

The girls refused to fall asleep almost the entire ride, only dozing off a mere FIVE MINUTES before we arrived at our destination.

We decided that I would stay in the car with the girls while J took our bags to go find the others.

Did I mention that this day was one of the hottest days of the year with temperatures reaching 101° (they estimated that it felt like 105° when you factor in the humidity) and that Long Island is where most people residing in the NYC area choose for the beach? Add to that it being a Saturday…there seemed to be thousands of people lying out in the sand.

Jones Beach, where we spent Saturday morning ~ afternoon.
Only it was more crowded than this picture which I found here.

J returned 20 minutes later — just as Aerin began stirring from her nap — and announced that he was unable to find the others. We had been told to make a right from the parking lot and meet them in the BBQ area, but he couldn’t find a BBQ area. He had lugged our bags up and down the beach and through the boardwalk in search of the missing BBQ area for 15 minutes under the blazing sun. When he finally asked a lifeguard for help, he was informed that we were supposed to make a left from the parking lot, not right.

So we woke up Claire, loaded both girls into the stroller, and made a left from the parking lot toward the BBQ area.

The only problem was, our friends and family were not there.

J called his cousin to confirm that we had to make a right from the parking lot. He also discovered that they were at the end of the boardwalk.

So we began the slow trek down the half-a-mile-long boardwalk. It was hot, we were sweaty, and the girls began to fuss.

We decided to take a break in a shaded area in order to change Aerin and give her a bottle, give Claire a juice pack from the cooler, and slather on sunscreen. After this short break, we headed down the boardwalk again, and began to make out some BBQ stands and picnic tables in the distance.

But the area was completely empty.

J once again called his cousin who repeated the same set of directions. “We’re right by the golf course. You can’t miss us,” he said.

“What golf course?!??”

“Are you guys in the right field? Field 2?”

“Yeah, we’re at Field 2. We see a couple of softball fields, but no golf course.”

“What softball fields???”

By this time, both girls were wailing. They were obviously uncomfortably hot and bored and did not hesitate to let us know.

We turned around and headed back where we came from, keeping our eyes peeled for the elusive golf course. We were all tired, hot, and cranky. I suggested that we should just settle down — just us four, and have a family day at the beach.

But there were sooooo many people on the beach and the water was quite far from where we were.

We had been walking around, under the blazing sun, lugging our bags and pushing the stroller for over an hour by this point. The girls were now practically screaming.

Then J said what I had been thinking: “Oh, the hell with it. Let’s just go back home.”

I waited in the rest area with Claire and Aerin, sharing a soft-serve ice cream with them while J left to go get the car. As we left the parking lot, J called his cousin to let him know we were leaving.

It was only then that we figured out the problem:

WE WERE AT THE WRONG BEACH.

It didn’t matter where the misunderstanding/miscommunication had occurred, and by whom. J’s cousin urged us to drive down to the correct beach, but we were all too exhausted and cranky. We continued on our way home.

J and I could only laugh about it on the drive back. “At least we got some sun!” “Well, we were technically at the beach…” “Aerin had her first taste of ice cream and she loved it!”

How was your weekend? I hope it was better than ours!

Then & Now: The Real-Life Values of Monopoly Properties

Does everyone who plays the classic boardgame Monopoly know that its properties are based on actual streets in or near Atlantic City, NJ? And since the game was conceived in the early 20th century, the property values must have changed drastically, no?

This was the rationale behind Movoto Real Estate, who took it upon themselves to revisit the properties that make up Monopoly and re-create the board with the current real estate prices:

(Note: Movoto has removed two zeroes from the current values on the board. Oriental Avenue’s $2,800, for example, means homes are selling for $280,000. A “???” means there are no homes for sale on that street.)

It’s interesting to see that Park Place no longer exists — in its place now stands the entrance to Bally’s Casino. Boardwalk is a lot more affordable than most would initially think; the most expensive property that is currently listed is a condo unit for $669,000 (the price for a decent 1-bedroom in NYC).

On the other hand, Baltic Avenue, the second-lowest priced property on the game, has fared extremely well through the years, while Marvin Gardens is now home to upscale properties in the $1M+ range.

Head on over to Movoto to learn more about the properties that make up Monopoly!

Medicated, and Uninspired

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Night and Day

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Wacky Street Fighter Characters

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Harry Potter Characters: Books vs Movies

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Game of Thrones for Math Nerds [LOL]

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Dressing the Part: Should Moms Dress More Conservatively?

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Batman Through the Ages [Infographic]

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Famous Logos: Original vs Current

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Our Family’s First Trip to the Beach

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Then & Now: The Real-Life Values of Monopoly Properties

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