Geek in Heels - Page 50

Mar 14, 2012 • In Aerin, Claire, Parenting, Personal

1 to 2 Transition: Things We’re Doing Differently

Having a second child is not just twice the work. For me, and other mothers of multiple children I have spoken to, two children are triple, sometimes even quadruple the work of one kid!

With my in-laws having returned to Hong Kong, I am finally on my own in being the caretaker of a 4-month-old and a 17-month-old. Things are actually better than I had feared, but at the same time, I am completely drained by the end of each day and I tell all my friends to wait at least 2 years to have a second child if they could help it.

(For those who are wondering if we decided to get help with the kids, we want to see first if I could handle it by myself, with some help from my parents and my sister. Child care is so expensive these days and I would rather tough it out for these first few years so that we can save money for the kids’ education, starting with a good preschool for Claire which is only a year away!)

There are some things that come as a no-brainer when transitioning from one child to two. But every situation is different, and in ours, these are the changes we have made, or found ourselves making, to make our lives a bit easier.

1. Run the dishwasher.

Believe it or not, we used to barely use the dishwasher because of my OCD tendencies. This habit continued even after Claire was born, but now that time is even more limited and the extra 20 minutes washing the dishes by hand could honestly could be spent doing other things (even just sprawled out on the couch, zoning out in front of the TV), I have given in and decided that the machine will have to do.

We still wash all the baby bottles by hand, though. I haven’t quite let go on this front. 😉

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Cool Tool Tuesdays: Sumo Citrus

Welcome to today’s installment of Cool Tool Tuesdays, where I feature a favorite item from my life and spotlight it so that others who are not familiar with the product may also benefit from it. A cool tool can be any book, gadget, software, hardware, material, or website that I have personally tried and love.

Do you have any questions about today’s cool tool? Would you like an item featured in the future? Please leave a comment to this post, or send me a message via my contact form. Enjoy!

Today’s cool tool is not actually a tool, but a food — more specifically, a fruit. It may, in fact, be my new favorite fruit! Introducing the SUMO CITRUS…

The Sumo Citrus is a Japanese hybrid of mandarin, Satsuma and navel oranges. With a distinctive top knot that is reminiscent of a sumo wrestler’s hairstyle (hence the name), it was developed over the span of 30 years and recently became one of the most prized citrus fruits in Japan and Korea, fetching up to $8 per fruit! Called the Dekopon in Japan and Hallabong in Korea, it is finally available in the U.S. thanks to a grower in California who uses the same exact standards of the original Japanese farmer.

That Bastard Second Wind…

Any idiot can tell you that being a parent is tiring. Sometimes, I am so drained by the end of the day that every bone in my body seems to ache, every muscle sore, and I actually feel nauseous from the physical exhaustion. And at these moments, all that gets me through the next minute and all subsequent units of ever-stretching time is knowing that soon, I will be able to rest my wearied body.

But once both kids are fed, bathed, and down for the night…

The second wind kicks in.

I like to compare my second wind with injecting a car engine with nitrous oxide.
(image source)

This renewed energy isn’t all bad. After all, it’s the only thing that allows us to do the dishes, fold the laundry, and tidy up the house. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to prepare meals for the following day. Without it, we wouldn’t even have the energy to feed ourselves dinner! Without it, our home would be in complete disarray.

But this bastard of a second wind is also responsible for keeping us in front of our computers, checking email, reading news sites, and writing blog posts. It keeps us attached to our phones playing the latest “it” game (which is, at the moment, is Draw Something). It dries out my contact lenses even further with one more page of that book that I simply must keep reading.

It is what is responsible for keeping us up until midnight, or 1 or even 2 in the morning when we all know very well that sleep — that wonderful, DELICIOUS sleep! — is what we crave the most when we are awake.

It’s no wonder that when the baby wakes up between 3:00-4:00am, we groggily wonder to ourselves, ‘Didn’t we JUST fall asleep?’

Why, yes, we did. And we have no one to blame but ourselves. 😉

Reverent Sundays: Premarital Sex

Welcome to today’s installment of Reverent Sundays, where I write about an aspect of my faith. This can deal with recent books I have read on Christianity, my thoughts on religion and current issues, as well as particular messages I find touching and/or powerful. I am aware that most of my readers are not religious, and that is fine — you are more than welcome to not read these posts if they make you uncomfortable, enrage you, or bore you to tears. I am open to debates and discussions in the comments section as long as everyone remains respectful. Enjoy!

A few weeks ago, an article in RELEVANT Magazine titled “The Secret Sexual Revolution” ignited much talk among the Christian blogs and online magazines I read. The premise of the article is that more and more unmarried Christians are having sex — with the latest numbers citing about 80% of Christians who identify themselves as “evangelical” having had premarital sex.

Of those 80 percent of Christians in the 18-29 age range who have had sex before marriage, 64 percent have done so within the last year and 42 percent are in a current sexual relationship.

So why are the numbers so high? Why is there little to no difference in how Christ followers and non-Christ followers handle themselves when it comes to sex before marriage? Is this some sort of new sexual revolution or are we just more open about it in today’s culture?

The article goes on to theorize (emphases are my own):

The mediaʼs marketing of sex, the cultural endorsement of the “do what feels good” mentality, the prevalence of pornography and the widespread misunderstanding of sex that prompts people to chase after love and acceptance in unhealthy physical relationships are all factors that make it difﬁcult to practice chastity. The reality is chastity is not the norm. And such a discipline is certainly not easy.

Godʼs picture of sex and marriage is certainly a beautiful one, but itʼs also … old. Biblical times were a lot different than current times. Is such a picture still relevant?

Scot McKnight, author of One.Life and professor in religious studies at North Park University in Chicago, is aware of the difﬁculties facing unmarried Christians and the shifts in the “reality” of living chastely.

“Sociologically speaking, the one big difference—and itʼs monstrous— between the biblical teaching and our culture is the arranged marriages of very young people. If you get married when youʼre 13, you donʼt have 15 years of temptation.”

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average age for ﬁrst marriages for both men and women has been increasing for the last 45 years. In 1965, the average man ﬁrst married at age 22.8; the average woman, 20.6. In 2010, the average age was 28.1 for men and 26.1 for women.

Abstinence messages have often been geared toward teenagers, but as the average marrying age creeps closer to 30, the time period when Christians are called to be chaste can easily extend a decade beyond their high school graduation—or much longer. So what does abstinence look like as Christians “grow up” and enter the real world but are still single?

“Itʼs absolutely not realistic,” McKnight continues. “But itʼs also not realistic not to do a lot of things, and that doesnʼt mean the Bible doesnʼt tell us the ideal and design of God is to not have premarital sex.”

As young Christians mature into their 20s, itʼs natural for them to reevaluate their beliefs as they strive to ﬁgure out how faith ﬁts into their expanding worldview. If they determine they can drink responsibly and watch movies and listen to music with a discerning spirit, is it possible the “donʼt do it because itʼs wrong” message gets tossed aside along with all those other “legalistic” messages of youth? That they start to believe they can also have sex “with discernment”?

“We have to recognize that people are not married during the years when their hormones are hardest to control,” McKnight says. “So weʼre dealing with a very serious issue that needs to be treated from a variety of angles and not simply the moral angle that itʼs wrong outside of marriage.”

McKnight also wonders if part of the problem is a devaluing of marriage. If young Christians no longer deem marriage a worthwhile endeavor—or see it as a temporary thing (proven to them by the brevity of their parentsʼ marriages and the prevalence of divorce in Western culture), then sex within marriage certainly loses some of its profundity—and sacredness.

Obviously, preaching abstinence, conducting chastity vows, and handing out promise rings among the Christian youth is simply not working.

Our first kiss as husband and wife

I do not want to be a hypocrite. Because the truth is that I have had premarital sex — I am among the 80%; I am in the majority.

But I wouldn’t be lying it I were to say that it is one of the biggest regrets of my life.

What are people like me to teach our children about premarital sex and God’s design for sex and marriage? Do I want my daughters to remain virgins until they are married? Of course I do! But looking at our culture and society, looking at the statistics above, and speaking as someone who has fallen into temptation myself, I know that realistically speaking, they will have sex before they get married. Heck, I also know that if current trends continue, they will most likely be having sex by the time they are in their early to mid-teens.

As a former youth group teacher, I have been asked this question on more than one occasion. And my answer has always been to discuss God’s design for marriage, to exalt married sex (because honestly, it really can’t seem to get any better but always does), and talk about the potential dangers of premarital sex…but at the same time, also acknowledge that it is very difficult to abstain, and that if you do decide to have sex before marriage, to please be wise about who, when, and how (and by this, I mean protection).

And if I could go back in time, I would also add that abstinence should be not taught just for the sake of it, but that it is an act of obedience — and a form of worship. I would also encourage “renewed abstinence,” that even if you have lost your virginity physically, you can still start afresh spiritually.

What are your thoughts on the high rates of premarital sex among Christians? What would you, as a Christian, tell our future generations about premarital sex?

If Movie and TV Characters Could Be Your Teachers…

You’d have the best school ever!

Via 9gag.

White Guy Dance Moves [Infographic]

I’m a bit disappointed the bus driver isn’t on here!

Via Killer Infographics.

Cute Interactions with Claire’s Lovey

Soon after Claire was born, we received a package from our Canadian friend Girl on the Park — an adorable stuffed giraffe for Claire!

We kept the giraffe in Claire’s crib through sleep training and teething, often placing it into her arms so that she could use it as a source of comfort. Before long, it be came apparent that this giraffe had become Claire’s lovey.

Claire at four months with her lovey.

When we realized how attached Claire had gotten to her giraffe, I quickly sought out a duplicate and purchased it so that we can have another on hand just in case the original became damaged or lost. We kept both in her crib and always washed them together so that they would be indistinguishable — but our smart-as-a-whip daughter would not have it. We couldn’t tell them apart and we still have some trouble picking which is which, but Claire always knows IMMEDIATELY. All efforts to switch the identical giraffes, to trick her into taking the impostor, have failed miserably as she will take one look and sniff and shoot us a look that plainly states, “Are you effing kidding me? You think you can trick me? Think again!”

In the past, Claire’s interactions with her giraffe have been limited to her carrying it around, hugging it, and sniffing its ears. But now that Claire is getting older and has a little sister whose interaction with her caretakers she keenly observes, they have become much more complex and at times, simply adorable.

Practicing walking with the help of her giraffe and her grandfather this past Christmas

Claire now tries to take care of her giraffe just as we take care of Aerin. She will try to give it food, burp it, and even try to put diapers on it! When we are preparing to go out, she will take a pair of her shoes and try it put them on the giraffe. She places blankets over the stuffed animal and sings to it while rocking it in her arms.

But the best interactions with Claire’s lovey have occurred in the past week, because she has begun to groom it as well! She tried to bring it with her into the bathtub on numerous occasions, and became deeply upset to have it taken away before it could get soaking wet. She combs its fur every day, and yesterday — I am told that yesterday was an extra special treat to witness.

I unfortunately was busy with Aerin at the time, but according to J and my sister (who was over to help out for the day), Claire laid a piece of tissue on the coffee table and spent some time arranging it so that it was placed perfectly without any wrinkles. She then took the giraffe — and J and my sister tell me that it took them a minute or two to figure out what she was doing — and picked out the lint in its fur, carefully placing each piece onto the tissue!

I can only surmise that she has picked up this behavior from watching me pick loose flakes from Aerin’s hair (from cradle cap). That, or our eldest is already showing signs of OCD.

Before Aerin was born, I had been contemplating purchasing for Claire a baby doll so that she could take care of it and feel like a responsible, helpful big sister. Now, I know that a doll is not needed as the stuffed giraffe seems to be doing the job just fine.

Bloggy Thursdays: Using Google Alerts to Your Advantage

Welcome to this installment of Bloggy Thursdays, where I share with my fellow bloggers tips and tutorials to maximize and better your blog. While I do not consider myself an expert, I do like to think that after 10+ years of blogging — in addition to my technical knowledge — I know more than the average blogger when it comes to making your blog more appealing to readers.

Do you have any comments, questions, or topics you’d like to see covered here? Please send me a message via my contact form. Enjoy!

I am always amazed whenever a fellow blogger confesses to not using Google Alerts, because it’s a powerful tool that can help take blogging to the next level! I am a firm believer that one of the first things any blogger should do is to set up a Google Alert for their internet moniker.

What are Google Alerts? According to its website, Google Alerts are “email updates of the latest relevant Google results (web, news, etc.) based on your queries.” In other words, you can be alerted whenever someone publishes on a Google-trawled website — which is practically every publicly viewable web space! — whatever your set-up alert may be.

(image source)

As stated above, the first and foremost reason for using Google Alerts should be to see what the web is saying about you. While it is true that you can use trackbacks and pingbacks to see who is linking to your blog, there also exist services such as Shorl that allow you to link to a site anonymously. In cases such as these, Google Alerts will ensure that you will still be notified, even if there was never an active link in the first place!

I have alerts set up for different variations of my blog name, such as “Geek in Heels” and “geekinheels.” I also have alerts set up for my legal name so that I can make sure whatever is out there about me is accurate.

What can you do with this information? Even if what netizens are saying about you is not so nice, you can still use it as feedback to better your blog. Sometimes I’ll even join in on the conversation to potentially attract new readers. And on a more personal note, I will only respond to negative commentary if what they are saying about me is outright false. (For example, “Jenny is a bitch” is fine because it is an opinion, whereas “Jenny is scared of the dark” may prompt me to jump in and set the record straight.)

Some other ways you can use Google Alerts are:

Keep up with your niche (remember to use very specific search queries when doing this)
Find scrapers who are stealing your content
Discover new blogs and social networks

Lastly — and this may sound a bit stalker-ish — you can also set up alerts to keep tabs on your competition!

Or, if you’re just a stalker, you can set up a Google Alert to keep track of your target too. 😛 Whatever floats your boat.

Aerin’s Eczema Treatments

Our younger daughter may be a happier and easier baby than Claire, but as with many things in life her merry temperament seems to have come with a tradeoff: her sensitive, eczema-prone skin.

No one else in J or my immediate families suffer from eczema so this is brand-new territory for us. (Our pediatrician told us that if neither parent has eczema, there is still a 20% chance of the child having it. If one parent has it? 60%. And if both parents have eczema? 80%.) And while Aerin’s eczema has improved significantly since I quit breastfeeding — before, she had pus oozing from sores all over her face and body — she still suffers from extremely dry, itchy skin with the occasional flares.

In Aerin’s case, the flares do not seem to bother her nearly as much as the general itchiness of her entire skin. Without any interventions, she will just scratch and scratch until she draws blood. One time, she was scratching behind one ear (and thus, pulling) so much that the top of her ear ever so slightly separated from her head!

We also know that the itchiness does not allow her to sleep as well as she could be. 🙁

Our little lady with folded hands during tummy time

Now, at 4 months of age, we finally seem to have gotten some sort of a routine down to help relieve our little girl, and I wanted to share them here just in case anyone is in the same boat as us.

Our first line of defense is 2.5% hydrocortisone cream, which our pediatrician prescribed (I believe that you can get 1% over the counter?). However, prolonged use of steroid creams can cause you to build immunity to them, so I do not like using it alone too much — only when the flares look especially red or painful. When her skin looks red but doesn’t look too bad, I mix one-part hydrocortisone cream with one-part petroleum jelly and apply it to the affected areas.

Every sufferer of eczema respond to baths differently, and through trial and error we have discovered that in Aerin’s case, giving her a bath every night is better than every other day or even once every two days. However, we will only use soap/shampoo every other day. (We have tried various brands and types and found Aveeno Baby Soothing Relief Creamy Wash to work the best because it is the most moisturizing.) And on the “off” days, we will give her an oatmeal bath using Aveeno Baby Soothing Bath Treatment.

I slather Aveeno Baby Soothing Relief Moisture Cream all over her body whenever it feels dry. For some reason, this one seems more moisturizing — and as a result, brings better relief — than the Eczema Therapy Moisturizing Cream. I also like that it is unscented, while the Eczema Therapy cream has a light flowery scent.

(If you can’t tell by now, I have become a huge fan of Aveeno’s Baby line of products for sensitive/eczema-prone skin. Other brands, like Burt’s Bees, California Baby, and Earth’s Best, turned me off with their strongly scented products.)

We have stopped dressing her in synthetic fabrics or anything remotely irritating and only use 100% cotton. (Luckily, most of Claire’s old stuff fits this criteria.) My parents had bought us a huge case of Dreft from Costco when Claire was still an infant — and it has lasted us practically an entire year! — but we stopped using that due to its fragrance and started using Tide Free & Gentle instead.

Finally, our pediatrician prescribed us a medication called EpiCeram® which has been working wonders. As the doctor explained it, eczema occurs when a protective barrier that is present in normal skin is missing, and EpiCeram helps form a synthetic barrier with lipids and fatty acids. We apply EpiCeram all over Aerin’s body twice a day, and Aerin’s itching went down remarkably after just one day of use. The medication is quite expensive (our insurance co-pay is $45! 😯 ) but completely worth the money in my book — and if you go to their website, they offer a 25% off coupon (for up to $25) for three prescriptions.

Our doctor tells us that some babies grow out of eczema by the age of 2, while others will live with it for the rest of their lives. We sincerely hope that Aerin will be one of the lucky 40% whose symptoms improve or even disappear. Because even with all these treatment methods, she still remains in some discomfort and as a result, we continue to have her wear protective mittens (Especially for Baby Newborn Scratch Free Mittens are the best ones) and keep her swaddled when she sleeps, despite the fact that she should have ideally grown out of these items at this age.

Do you or your baby have eczema? What are your favorite treatment options?