Geek in Heels - Page 65

Nov 21, 2011 • In Food, Guest Posts, Home, Relationships

Guest Post: Whatever Happened to Thanksgiving?

As much as I love the holidays, I’m the type to get irritated to see Christmas decorations up in public or to hear holiday songs on the radio before the month of December. So it comes as no surprise that I nodded in agreement as I read the following guest post from contributor Terri — Thanksgiving really does seem to get the short end of the stick this time of the year!

What do you guys think? Do you gloss over Thanksgiving in favor of the December holidays? Or do you look forward to Thanksgiving with as much enthusiasm and excitement as Terri and I?

Whatever happened to Thanksgiving? This is one of my favorite holidays by far, but I’ve been noticing a decidedly different tone surrounding it in the past few years. Thanksgiving seems to get the short end of the stick when it comes to coverage and attention in the media and our culture until a day or two before. If you didn’t know it, you’d think there was a holiday lull between Halloween and Christmas. I could have sworn on November 1 that I saw a commercial with bells jingling, splashes of red and green and someone resembling a Santa. Oh. Heck. Nah.

Perhaps I’m making this all up, but I guess there is a little sadness in my heart that Thanksgiving doesn’t get the attention it deserves these days like Halloween or Christmas. As an only child growing up with a single mother, the holidays, beginning with Thanksgiving, were one of my favorite times of the year because I got to feel like I was a part of a large family. It’s not that I don’t have extended family, but most of them were born in and live in other countries where Thanksgiving doesn’t even exist. It’s just another Thursday in November to them (although they do acknowledge our day off and celebration with a little jealousy).

My mother and I would get together at my godmother’s home, and she sometimes had up to 30 people over just for Thanksgiving dinner. One year, there was even a DJ and a party in the basement. Seriously! While I enjoyed my singleton childhood, it was fun to feel as if you were a central part of some bigger family holiday. It felt like I was celebrating an ideal and joining in something bigger than just our tight-knit two person household.

I don’t know why we’d want to overlook a holiday like Thanksgiving, since it brings us all together. It doesn’t necessarily have the religious connotations that Christmas has, and who doesn’t want to be grateful and thankful for a day? It also doesn’t have the overt patriotism of Independence Day (yes, I know there are some politics at play with Thanksgiving, too). To me, it’s one of the few holidays in the U.S.A. that can cut through all of our differences whether we’re Christian, Muslim, an immigrant or can trace our family back to the founding of the country. Thanksgiving is a holiday for everyone.

Since everyone can celebrate Thanksgiving, I love that over time the perception of Thanksgiving food has changed, too. I like the fact there are quintessential traditional Thanksgiving dishes we can count on, but we take each of these dishes and make them our own, kind of like our American experience. Everyone with their cultures and experiences has added a little something here and a little something there to change what is customary about the proper Thanksgiving meal, but it’s still all uniquely American.

I’m no longer attending the big Thanksgiving dinners that I’m used to, but that’s in part because the baton has been passed to me. I made and hosted my first Thanksgiving dinner last year. Feel free to take a look at what I made for dinner. Whether or not Thanksgiving gets short shrift, it will still have the all important 3 Fs: food, family and football. That’s my kind of holiday!

About the Author:

Terri writes the blog Try Anything Once, which chronicles her local, national, and international food and travel adventures and everything in between. She can usually be found tweaking her list of restaurants to try, watching DVR’ed episodes of Top Chef, dreaming about her next trip, and tweeting way too much.

Guest Post: Incorporating a Baby into Your Life

I will be the first to admit that my life has changed tremendously since having kids. Not that I was a party animal before kids, or that J and I regularly took spontaneous trips to Paris, but that I go out A LOT less, and practically every decision I make includes the question “What about the baby?”

And I guess I’m a bit of a wimp in this regard, because ever since Claire was born I have never spent a night away from home (aside from hospital stays), never traveled more than a hour’s radius from home, and much rather prefer the safety of my home to places where I — and perhaps others — will need to make special accommodations for the baby.

But I know that motherhood doesn’t have to be this way. And to present this case is guest author Heather, who recently had a baby of her own and has already done so much with him, fully incorporating him into her life rather than the other way around. As is the case with most parenting decisions, I am sure that there is no “right” way, but I can’t help but wonder how my readers have, or plan to, handle this aspect of parenthood?

Early on in my pregnancy, after the initial excitement and flurry of news-spreading settled down a bit, my husband and I started talking about the enormity of how our lives were going to change. I think it’s a common discussion for new parents who have no idea what to expect when a baby enters their lives. It’s hard not to think that the lifestyle you have grown accustomed to is about to become non-existent and that your days will be filled with nothing but diaper changes and Barney re-runs.

You know why we all think this? Because we are told so from the moment those two little lines show up.

“Enjoy time with your husband now because you’ll never get time alone again.”

“Go out with your friends now because your social life just became non-existent.”

“Never again will you be able to be spontaneous. Kiss last-minute vacations goodbye.”

“Your life is over for the next 18years!”

I’m sure people think it’s helpful to impart their wisdom on new parents, but all this ‘advice’ just scares them more than they already are and in my opinion is sort of a bunch of baloney. You life does not have to be over when you bring a child into the world. Will your life change? Of course. But it doesn’t have to change for the worse!

So many new parents give up everything they love because they think they have to, that it’s what is expected. They revolve their life around their new bundle of joy instead of incorporating their child into the life they have created. From my perspective, this only leads to resentment and alienation from the partner you created this life with.

My husband and I talked about this a lot during my pregnancy, constantly reminding ourselves that we wanted to raise this child as part of our family, not as the ONLY valid member of our family.

I admit, it’s been hard since our little boy arrived to stick to that plan. He is a fussy baby and nurses a lot, so I’ve been scared to venture out into the world with him. It seems so much easier and safer to just stay at home. But when I do get out, it reminds me that our plan was a good one. It’s fun and refreshing to get out — both for the social aspect and simply for the fresh air. If the baby gets fussy or needs to nurse, we find a place to calm and feed him. We have to roll with the punches a little bit more and be much more flexible (schedules are sort of a joke), but we make it work.

In the six weeks our baby has been with us we have taken him shopping, out to eat, on walks with the dog, and even on an overnight trip to a tourist town a couple hours away. And we plan to keep it up —taking him with us when we want to go out, saying ‘yes’ to trips away from home, and continuing our hobbies and activities. We know it will make us stronger as a couple and stronger as a family.

What are your thoughts? Do you make sure to keep your life as close to ‘normal’ as possible or do you think your life must change drastically when you add a member to the family?

About the Author:

Heather Kalinowski is a new mom to an 11 week old baby boy. When she is not changing diapers and cleaning spit-up, she is helping pet owners protect their pets with Trupanion pet insurance. You can also find her at her personal blog at http://familyandfur.com.

Epic Showdown

For what it’s worth, my money is on Ron Swanson. What about you?

(And you know that I would stick around for the self-defense demonstration by Dwight!)

Via Reddit.

P.S. — Methinks NBC should do a giant mashup special where the worlds of Dunder Mifflin, Kabletown, Pawnee, and Greendale Community College collide. Who’s with me?

Guest Post: Real Life “Sitcom”

Today’s post comes from Scottie Ann, whose life as an Army Wife can be viewed at Kelly Stadium. Reading this post resonated with me — having just given birth to a baby, your hormones are everywhere, you are sleep-deprived, and the things you’ve found enduring about your husband can start to annoy you to no end.

But after this? I am reminded once again that we love each other despite, and sometimes BECAUSE, of our faults.

And this tough post-partum period? It too, shall pass. 🙂

Enjoy this post — I sure did!

Since Aj deployed, I hate to admit, I have had a lot more TV time then I used to, or really should. Although, I tell myself it’s ok since I am usually multi-tasking when it’s on. But I’m just not used to sitting long enough to take in one 30 minute program, let alone two different hour-long programs. But my recent upgrade in viewing time has actually brought out some really fascinating sociological thoughts. One of which really hit me this week, thanks to the best gift God has ever given me, my husband.

I am a person with faults (I know, I can hear you gasp in surprise). In fact, I have many. One of them is my overly emotional immediate responses to different things. I get really worked up extremely fast and the emotions that come with it are just as high, I then spend a good 20 mins venting, at which point, I calm down and become a sensible and rationale human being again (no comments from the peanut gallery please). Poor Aj dealt with one of these “outbursts” earlier this week. I want to add here that I am not in any way saying this is when I get angry. It can be when I am angry, but also happy, sad, or just on a topical soap box. These outbursts are part of the glorious wonder that is me.

I am very aware that I do this, and I honestly try to keep it down as much as possible. I actually feel terrible after I get worked up cause I can be a real pain in the ass. I then apologize profusely for this obnoxious fault. This week, I was apologizing to Aj (I had been crying on the phone to him the night before) that I got so worked up so quickly and that I knew it was stupid. He then told me it wasn’t stupid. It’s ok, and that he understands. He didn’t say it to make me feel better, he said it because he really understands that, that’s me. That’s one of my faults and it’s part of who I am. After we got off the internet from him telling me that I am ok and not to be sorry, I immediately thought of one of my all time favorite quotes: “You don’t love someone despite their faults, you love someone with their faults.”

That night, I watched one of my newest favorite television shows, Bones. If you aren’t familiar with it, it’s about a forensic anthropologist named Temperance Brennan who helps solve murders. She is ridiculously intelligent and very beautiful but when it comes to emotions and understanding the illogical part of being human, she is the equivalent of Data from Star Trek. Completely confused by illogical uses of emotions and psychology, she is a wonderful character on the shown because of this “flaw.”

This got me thinking, all of the characters on sitcoms that are the most loved, are that way because of their flaws. For example, every member in the cast of Friends has different flaws. Joey is a lovable lady’s man but not too bright. Monica is OCD and high strung, Rachel a spoiled rich girl, Rozz is like the human equivalent of Eeyore, Chandler a sarcastic mess, and who can forget Phoebe’s terrible music and eccentric ways? The flaws of these characters are what we love. Without them, the shows and people would be boring. We love them with their faults, not despite them.

I love Aj. I love the fact that when football is on, despite his best attempts, a conversation is borderline useless. I love the fact that he has so much energy that my dad asked us to go to the park to play (we are both in our 20’s). I love that he is so competitive playing Madden that we have agreed to adjust our “title” to boyfriend and girlfriend when we play against each other (so he never has to say the phrase, “My wife is beating me at Madden.”). I love how he whistles constantly for no reason. I love him with all of these things, and apparently, Aj loves me for all of my “flaws” as well.

I guess what I am saying, is that we should always try to improve and want to make ourselves better (I still am working on a way to curb my emotional craziness) but that we shouldn’t feel guilty or apologetic for our “flaws.” They aren’t faults, they aren’t even flaws, they are what makes us lovable, and when someone truly truly loves us, they love all the annoying things that come with us.

About the Author:

My name is Scottie Ann. I’m an Army wife, personal trainer, cheesehead, huge sports enthusiast, self proclaimed nerd, and a bit of a girlie girl. My husband and I love our active and sometimes odd little life with our two dogs. Our blog is a bit about our life, sports, things we find amusing, current events, and everything in between. I am thrilled to have been asked to guest blog for the amazing Geek In Heels. I hope you’ve enjoyed this post and come visit us over at Kelly Stadium, we’d love to have you over!

Someone Really Likes Robert Pattinson

…I have no words.

Via Reddit.

Wherein I Discover Another By-Product of Pregnancy…Two Weeks After Giving Birth

Yesterday, I broke out of my month-long confinement in order to visit the optometrist. J still disapproved of my leaving the house, but I was running dangerously low on my contact lenses and I was not able to order them online since it had been more than a year since my last eye exam.

(On the subject of contact lenses, I *heart* my current brand: Proclear 1 Day daily disposables. Not only are they so much more convenient than regular contacts and even regular 2-week disposables, they’re sooo much more comfortable too. And no, neither Proclear nor Cooper Vision know that I exist.)

Stare into a picture of a green pasture and a red barn as the machine whirls and estimates my vision. Check. Have puffs of air shot into my eyes. Check. Read minuscule series of letters while repeatedly answering the question, “Which is better: 1 or 2?” Check.

(image source)

Then the doc delivered the bad news. My vision, while having had stayed the same for the past three years, had suddenly significantly grown WORSE in the past year:

Left Eye:
-4.00 to -4.75

Right Eye:
-3.50 to -4.25

He explained that vision changes during pregnancy is not uncommon, and that while in most cases, the changes are minor and even reversible, a remarkable worsening of eyesight such as mine is usually permanent.

Crap. And here I was, expecting the same prescription as the three years prior so that I can easily order my replacement contacts online. (Walgreens.com is having a big sale on contacts right now!) Instead, I will need to return later this week to ensure my new prescription isn’t too strong, and in a few months to make sure my eyesight hasn’t changed again. Also, I will need to get new lenses for my glasses as well.

Thanks, Aerin. You’ve really done a number on mommy’s body. (But I still love you to death, you stinky butt!)

Guest Post: Morel Lollipops with Garlic Truffle Aioli [Recipe]

Today’s guest post comes from none other than Serena of Big Apple Nosh. Here, she shares with us a recipe for…mushrooms on a stick??! I know it sounds a bit kooky, but wait until you see the delectable ingredients and the mouthwatering pictures! I’d take these over regular lollipops any day! Enjoy!

Earlier this year, Marx Foods hosted its 3rd annual Morel Recipe Challenge – the task at hand? Create a delectable hors d’oeuvres featuring this mycological delight. For this challenge, I decided to combine four of my favorite hors d’ oeuvres qualities – fried, cheesy, and on-a-stick. Using the dried morels as well as dill pollen also from Marx Foods, I created these Morel Lollipops. As a last minute add-on, I decided to accompany the lollipops with Garlic Truffle Aioli, using truffle sea salt also from Marx Foods. I know if I passed by a tray of these during a cocktail hour, I’d grab two (or five)!

You will need:

Morel Lollipops

8 large dried morel mushrooms
8 tbsp goat cheese
4 tsp dill pollen
2 cups panko bread crumbs
1 egg (forgot to include in the picture, oops!)
Oil for frying (I used canola)
Bamboo Skewers

1. First, reconstitute the dried morels per Marx Food’s directions. Strain reconstituted mushrooms, pat dry with a paper towel, and remove the stems.

2.With a spoon, combine goat cheese and dill pollen in a small dish.

3. Using my oh-so-technical method, transfer goat cheese mixture to a Ziploc bag. Cut a small corner of the filled bag, and use this makeshift pastry bag to fill the mushrooms with cheese.

4. Skewer each cheesy mushroom

5. Beat egg in small bowl, and spread panko crumbs on a plate. Dip each lollipop in the egg mixture and then roll in panko crumbs.

If you like an extra crunch, you can re-dip in the egg and re-crumb. You will get this:

6. Heat oil in heavy-duty pot or pan. Fry each battered lollipop until light golden. Careful, oil is hot (duh)

7. Rest lollipops on paper towels. Serve while hot!

Served hot, these lollipops are rich, meaty and scrumptious on their own. If you’d like a little dipping action, however – you can put together a simple garlic truffle aioli:

Garlic Tuffle Aioli

1 egg yolk, room temperature
1 tsp lemon juice
1 cup of extra virgin olive oil
2 cloves garlic, crushed and minced
1/2 tsp truffle salt

1. Whisk egg yolk, 1/4 tsp of truffle salt, and lemon juice by hand or …whirr? (you know what I mean) with a food processor.
2. While whisking or whirring, drizzle in olive oil 1 tsp at a time, allowing it to emulsify. The key here is slow and steady! If you take your time, you’ll see the aioli start to come together.
3. Once aioli has reached desired consistency (should be like a thin mayonnaise), turn off food processor and add in minced garlic until well combined.
4. If desired, finish with more truffle salt.

Have you had savory lollipops before? What kind?

About the Author:

Serena grew up thirty minutes outside of New York City and has lived in Manhattan for the past 12 years. A strict follower of the “NYC Diet” of convenience, hole-in-the-wall joints and fine dining, she is on constant lookout for the next hidden gem. Her family learned of her passion for food early on, when she finished her baby food in record time (6 months old), woke her mother up for a midnight banana (2 years old), and came home from school with her lunchbox full of Jello (6 years old). Serena first created a DIY pizza tour itinerary for visiting friends four years ago. She has since organized food tours for friends and family, focusing on cuisine as varied as soul food, cupcakes, vegetarian dim sum, and allergy-aware establishments.

Guest Post: Reflections on a Dragon Mom’s Love

Today’s guest post comes from Angela, who not only is a frequent commenter on this blog but keeps her own fantastic mommy blog as well. In this piece, she talks about an article that made its rounds through various internet mommy hangouts last month. I remember reading the article as well, and feeling a mixture of sadness as well as relief. What was your reaction to it? (And if you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend that you do so now!)

Hi Readers! I couldn’t have been more honored when Jenny asked me to guest blog while she recovers from the delivery of BebeDeux. I have been following this blog for a long time now and am a fan of her honest insights and quirky, varied interests. Who’s with me??

Anyway, not to put a damper on things, but I really wanted to blog about the New York Times article published earlier this month. Did anyone else read, “Notes from a Dragon Mom”, about how one mom is living with the fact that she will lose her son before he turns 3? It completely shook me up. I think I read it every day the week it came out… the words were so powerful to me. I went to bed every night thinking about that mom and her baby boy. I wondered how I would’ve coped if I were in her shoes.

I would walk through a tunnel of fire if it would save my son. I would take my chances on a stripped battlefield with a sling and a rock à la David and Goliath if it would make a difference. But it won’t. I can roar all I want about the unfairness of this ridiculous disease, but the facts remain. What I can do is protect my son from as much pain as possible, and then finally do the hardest thing of all, a thing most parents will thankfully never have to do: I will love him to the end of his life, and then I will let him go.

Those words. I couldn’t (err.. can’t) take it. It was enough to make me run to my daughter and hold onto her with all my might. She must’ve thought mama had gone cuckoo. I rocked her and stroked her hair and said a long prayer thanking God for my healthy, beautiful baby girl.

Parenting, I’ve come to understand, is about loving my child today. Now. In fact, for any parent, anywhere, that’s all there is.

It reminded me of the most powerful and beautiful verse in the bible — “[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Corinthians 13:7-8).

Love. Let’s think about that for a second…

As moms, we get judged/questioned for our choices often, but our biggest critic is probably ourselves. Methinks it’s time we give ourselves and each other a break. At the end of their life, they’re not going to remember if the house was in order or if we fed them organic. The best bedsheets and well-crafted toys aren’t going to make all that much of a difference if we weren’t present. What they will hold onto though, are the hugs, the kisses, the “I love you’s”. They’re going to look back and remember the time spent and the love poured down. We do what we can, the best that we can, and hopefully when they have children of their own… they will see that our sacrifices were made willingly and out of incredible, intense love.

How would you live if you knew that your days were limited with the person you love most in the world?What does it mean to live in the present and embrace our todays?

About the Author:

My name is Angela and I’m a first time mom to a 10-month old, rambunctious baby girl who I can barely keep up with. Inevitably, babies are all that’s on my mind lately (whether I like it or not!). I blog about my personal parenting experiences over at BabyChin — don’t be shy, drop by for a visit and say hello! 🙂

The 2-Week Post-Partum Update

Weight Loss:
Like my pregnancy with Claire, I had gained about 50 lbs with this pregnancy. I stepped on the scale for the first time this morning since my last OB appointment, and it looks like I’ve lost 25 lbs in the two weeks since giving birth. That leaves ~25 lbs left to go.

I’m not too worried about the weight loss as I had lost all 50 lbs in 3 months the first time around. I just wish I could speed it up a little, especially with the holidays coming up!

Boob Juice:
The first few weeks following the birth of Claire were a blur of marathon pumping sessions to increase my milk supply. In stark contrast, I am having no problems whatsover in the breastmilk department this time around.

In fact, I feel like I’m producing too much. Just one week after birth, I was already pumping more than 12 oz at a time! (And this is on top of nursing.)

Should I not pump as much — right now I’m pumping 2-3x a day — so that my supply will decrease? Or just keep up my current regimen until Aerin’s appetite increases?

Boob Size:
On the subject of boobs, this is the one thing that bothers me the most: my humongous, gigantic breasts. Pre-pregnancy I was a large B or a small C — which I believe is already pretty large on my 5’1″ frame — and now that I’m breastfeeding, they have ballooned to DD’s.

None of my clothes fit, none of my bras fit, and I just feel so unattractive and out-of-proportion. My breasts constantly get in the way, and I’m self-conscious all the time. Nevermind the back and shoulder pains from these added weights…

Will my breasts settle down a bit as I continue to breastfeed, or will they remain this size until I quit? (I honestly can’t remember if my breasts decreased in size at all during the 3 months when I exclusively pumped for Claire.) I had been hoping to breastfeed for about 9 months to 1 year, but if they don’t settle down a bit by 6 months I may just reconsider.

And while we’re still talking about boobs, does anyone have recommendations for a good nursing bra for large chests? The ones I used with Claire — the Medela Comfort Nursing Bra — doesn’t seem to be cutting it anymore as it seems too constricting. I hate spending more than $30 at a time on undergarments, but I bit the bullet and ordered the popular Bravado Body Silk Nursing Bra and am crossing my fingers that this will work out!

Bleeding:
Still bleeding quite a bit down there. Depends — or the drugstore brand equivalents of adult diapers — are my best friends.

The Baby:
Aerin continues to do very well. She eats like the world will come to an end tomorrow, she pees and poops regularly (she poops up to 10x a day!), and her scrawny little figure is finally starting to fill out.

She is starting to get a double chin and chubby cheeks!

She has finally started to sleep in 2-3 hour stretches — hallelujah! — but still vastly prefers to be held at all times. As a result, for these first few weeks of her life we have been doing what we had sworn not to do: co-sleep at night.

(We never co-slept with Claire because we fed her from a bottle. But now that I have a baby who loves to nurse and often falls asleep while nursing, co-sleeping is so much easier!)

We’re still not entirely sure what we’ll do when Comang returns from my parents’ house in a couple of weeks, as he likes to sleep on the bed with us. I know that the Arm’s Reach Bassinet is an option, but I am reluctant to get another bassinet when we already have one. I guess that I will just have to do my best to transition her to the bassinet for her nighttime sleep (she sleeps in the bassinet during the day just fine).

It’s funny how Claire and Aerin looked exactly alike when they were first born, because now, comparing their pictures at 2 weeks old, they look vastly different! Claire looks more Korean and Aerin more Chinese…J still doesn’t see the resemblance, but I think she takes a lot after her father.

Claire Update:
And now, for a short update on our firstborn. Her fifth word is now official: baby. She will point to Aerin and say, “Beh-bee! Beh-bee!” She will even look for Aerin when she’s not in sight and call out, “Beh-bee? Beh-bee?”

Claire also seems to be a lot more aware of other children and babies now. Before, she would just ignore them…but now, whenever she goes out and sees other mini-humans, she will try to interact with them, and even call out “Beh-bee!” to them too. We can only conclude that this change in behavior comes from having a new little sister.

Guest Post: Parenting Chooch the Pooch

Today’s guest post comes from Sarah of Bend it Like Becker fame. Here she compares parenting a human baby to a puppy. And as someone who has raised dogs for most of her life, one of which was a high-needs puppy, I can completely attest to the fact that yes, pets can be just as difficult and high-maintenance as a human baby…and the emotional attachment can be just as high too!

Pet owners are sure to love this piece, and even if you’re not an animal lover, you would enjoy this laugh-out-loud post from Chooch’s mom. Enjoy!

Thanks Jenny and hello out there Geek in Heels readers!

So in honor of the arrival of Jenny’s sweet baby girl #2, I thought I’d write something pertaining to babies or parenting or something. The only minor glitch here being that I am not, in fact, a parent. (Mostly I just prefer to precariously delight in the pregnancies/babies of friends, relatives, colleagues, bloggers, facebook friends that I haven’t talked to in 10 years, strangers on the street, etc.) But… earlier this year my husband and I did became proud adoptive parents to a bouncing baby beagle, now known to the world as Chooch:

So although I am aware that pet-parenthood is probably .0000008% the difficulty level of human-parenthood, I do at least feel like we’ve been given the slightest crash course in caretaking before being sent out into the wilderness. Here’s why…

POOP. I have to start with poop. Duh. Parents are always talking about poop, the poop, all of the poop! Being married to a guy who’s 29 going on 10, poop discussions already had a more prominent role in our lives than I was comfortable with, but they’ve increased exponentially since pup acquisition. Now exchanges like this are common in the household:

“Hmm, Chooch hasn’t pooped all day! Is he OK?!”
“Oh it’s cool, he had a pretty voluminous one this morning.”
“Oh OK. Hey I forgot to tell you he pooped out a Reese’s wrapper yesterday!”

We’re in Charge of the Well-Being of a Living Creature. Historically I never had the best batting average with plants, so at first I wondered why on earth I thought I’d be able to actually take care of a mammal. But now I am amazed that the tiny, clueless pup that first pitter-pattered into our home has now become a strapping 28 pounder and obedience school graduate, all under our care. Win! Unfortunately this responsibility also comes with a great deal of worrying about his well-being. And by worrying, I mean neurotic bouts of irrational panic. For instance, the other week I was at an all-day yoga class, and realized I couldn’t remember if I’d blown out a candle at home. So being the insane person I am, I became convinced the house would burn down in my absence (my husband was at work). I said to myself “Even if the house burns down, we have insurance, whatevs.” Then I realized…. OMG CHOOCH! At this point we were doing a meditation exercise wherein we were breathing very slowly and counting backwards from 50, so my brain visualizations were like “48…….. Chooch fleeing the fire, desperately clawing the door!…..47……. Chooch confused, crying for his parents to save him!…….46……..FIREMEN! ARRIVE! TOO! LATE!“

We Never Sleep In. Chooch is on some crazy biorhythm and wakes up about 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning. And when you’re a dog, EVERY morning is Christmas morning because you’re getting food! And a walk! OMG! He loves it. This is convenient during the week but sadly, our leisurely weekend mornings are long gone, and instead every day begins with Chooch stomping up to the head of the bed and jabbing his paws into our faces/tracheas/sternums.

We “Co-Sleep” Even Though We Swore We Never Would. After our wedding I banked all of our Macy’s gift cards and bought this beautiful bedding. Duvet… nice sheets… BREAKFAST PILLOWS for Pete’s sake… I felt like the most rock-star wifey when I used to make that bed. I SWORE the dog would never get near it. Guess how this story ends! After round #23985 of Chooch jumping on the bed and me removing him, I was just sick of it. The breakfast pillows have now been relegated to the closet, and if it will buy me 15 extra minutes of sleep (see above), I don’t even care if he snuggles under the sheets. This despite the fact that we regularly witness his foot getting caught in the crossfire of his piddle.

If Someone Asks About the Dog We Can’t Shut Up. Seriously, it’s embarrassing. You’ll wish you’d never asked because suddenly we’re scrolling through the phone to shove pictures in your face and telling you a 45 minute long story about when he went to get his nails clipped.

Good Cop/Bad Cop Roles are Established. My husband will firmly correct the dog when he’s doing something bad and I’m all DON’T YOU SPEAK TO MY BABY LIKE THAT! Or he will try to discourage me from indulging the dog with people food and I’m like “But…..BUT!….. If we deny him this peanut butter he’ll never forget and he’ll think we hate him and he may never recover and look he wants it so badly!” We also had a great deal of disagreement in the first few weeks over the controversial crate — as I felt it was an inhumane, torturous device created by possibly the devil himself. Happily we were able to phase out the crate due to our dog being the smartest, most trustworthy, most well-behaved pup ever. DUH.

Travel Becomes a Serious Ordeal. Yep, no more spontaneity there! Now it’s: has he been sufficiently exhausted such that we can get him to sleep most of the ride? Do you have his dog bed? A fresh bone? His bunny? His travel water cup? What’s our targeted potty break site?

We Learn to Communicate with a Being with No Language Skills. (Or, another anecdote about poop). So, early on when Chooch was transitioning from the crate, one night he woke up in the middle of night and was whining and carrying on like whoa. We thought he was mixed up and believed it was morning/was demanding his walk, but apparently someone was having tummy troubles. He wouldn’t quiet down so we put him in the crate, and a few minutes later a familiar yet dreaded scent wafted through the bedroom. POO! The poor little guy had diarrhea! We felt terrible. We felt terrible-er when he bolted from the crate and traipsed a poo trail all over the second floor. We spent the 2:00 am – 3:00 am hour cleaning the dog, the floors, the carpets, the crate… disaster. Moral of the story: rookie error! Never again will we misread that cue!

We Learn to Looooove. Awww. A serious note to end on. It’s true, we adore that little furball! There is something so different about loving a little, innocent, dependent creature! Some mornings when I’m closing the door behind me to go to work and he’s staring at me quizzically with his little wagging tail, I honestly tear up! Is that so pathetic? Don’t answer. This makes me unbeLIEVably afraid for future human babies because I can’t imagine how much of an emotional mess I could become. YIKES, people.

Thanks for having me, guys! You can find me over at Bend it Like Becker where many more dumb stories await. I’m new to the blogging world so stop by and say hi! Right now I’m totally the new kid from Minnetonka that has no lunch table to sit at. It’s emotionally taxing.

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